Song of the Month: “Seeing for the First Time”

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In my last post, I described how I found relief after years of wandering around in a emotionally and physically draining wilderness.

When I finally cast aside my fears and started using the medication my doctor had prescribed for me, I felt like I had been totally and completely unwound.

As I wrote, “I was exhausted, overwhelmed and irritable. … “But I didn’t know just how badly I had felt before until I felt better.”

In the years leading up to this moment—years when I didn’t really know or understand the hormonal cause of all my symptoms—I prayed often that God would heal me. Not gradually, but instantly, like He healed the woman who touched the hem of His garment in Mark 5:29.

He didn’t do that. But He did bring healing, in more ways than one.

A while after the relief came, I sat in the library parking lot, killing time before picking my daughter Lilly up from her evening dance class. I barely listened as the stereo blared catchy tunes from a Britt Nicole CD, but when the last song started playing, I was transfixed.

At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, it was one of those moments when the veil between heaven and earth becomes a little thinner and you catch a tiny glimpse of how God’s tender love has been working in your life for much longer than you ever realized.

I could write a great deal about the transformation that began in my mind and heart during those long years in the wilderness. I’m still processing it, still wondering about all the ways those experiences will affect my life and faith going forward.

Much of it will come out on paper sooner or later, of that I’m quite certain.

But that night in the library parking lot, all that faded to black. Tears came, along with a sense of profound awe and gratefulness.

Britt Nicole sings it far better than I could ever explain it. So here you are, the Song of the Month for September: “Seeing for the First Time.”

Lois Flowers

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Suzie Eller at #LiveFreeThursday.

12 Responses to Song of the Month: “Seeing for the First Time”

  1. What a journey. God is so good to break through and rescue when we feel underwater. I hope you do keep writing all the truth that God unveiled for you.

  2. Oh Lois, this is beautiful. Thank you for your transparency today… I so needed this! I look forward to reading more about your journey through that wilderness. I too, have been there! Blessings! #livefreeThursday

  3. Karen says:

    Lois! Mary McCully shared your blog post this morning on her page, and it was if a God sized hug wrapped around my heart as I read it.. You, dear friend and your girls and family have been prayed for all these years since you asked me to preview your book on infertility. That day, when it arrived in my hands , was determined by God to be a time of daily prayer for you , as both a mom to the girls, and as a woman of faith. Your life impacted many from Randy and your journey, and now to even think Lilly and Molly being almost in High School!! Just thinking how many dozens and dozens times I have spent praying over those two quilts I made for them when you adopted..and knowing today how many special memories and life teachings you as their parents have instilled in Lilly and Molly.. My eyes and heart are brimming right now with deep gratitude to God for leading Mary to post about your blog this morning. I’m looking with great anticipation to read your posts, because I need your strength, your faith, and your trials to remind me how BIG a God we have, and how far He remains with each of us in our times of difficult faith and life journey..

    • Lois Flowers says:

      Karen, I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to hear from you today! Just seeing your name reminds me of your powerful story, and also of those precious quilts you made for the girls when they were tiny. And on a day when I am quavering a bit about some future things, it is such a comfort to know that you have been praying so faithfully for us all these years. Thank you for caring enough to pray, and also for taking the time to write … it warms my heart to think of you reading these words that I post here every week! Blessings to you, my friend!

      • Karen says:

        You have no idea how much God has taught me from your devotion to Him thru your struggling with infertility as I’ve prayed SO much over your family over the years since we met. I look forward to sharing more with you about what God is doing in both of our lives..

  4. Linda Stoll says:

    This, Lois, here … ‘the veil between heaven and earth becomes a little thinner and you catch a tiny glimpse of how God’s tender love has been working in your life for much longer than you ever realized.’

    These are the moments we live for, that shape us, that take us to the next level.

    These are the moments that must give Him greatest pleasure.

    Thanks for taking us here today, friend. Blessings on you, dear …

    • Lois Flowers says:

      Yes, they definitely shape us and take us to the next level, Linda. I think they can also help us keep going when the road gets rough … remembering God’s tender loving care in the past has bolstered my faith in the middle of the hard more times than I can count! And to think that these moments give our Heavenly Father pleasure, too? I never thought of that … wow!

  5. Mary McCully says:

    For all the young women whom God has put in my path, I pray that each will see Him afresh as you did on that day chosen by Him to speak to you through this beautiful song.

    • Lois Flowers says:

      You are a blessing to so many women, Mary. There are places in my life that would look very different (and not in a good way) were it not for your godly influence and love. I have a feeling the women in your path will see God as He moves in their lives, and also as He moves in yours!

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