In my last post, I described how I found relief after years of wandering around in a emotionally and physically draining wilderness.
When I finally cast aside my fears and started using the medication my doctor had prescribed for me, I felt like I had been totally and completely unwound.
As I wrote, “I was exhausted, overwhelmed and irritable. … “But I didn’t know just how badly I had felt before until I felt better.”
In the years leading up to this moment—years when I didn’t really know or understand the hormonal cause of all my symptoms—I prayed often that God would heal me. Not gradually, but instantly, like He healed the woman who touched the hem of His garment in Mark 5:29.
He didn’t do that. But He did bring healing, in more ways than one.
A while after the relief came, I sat in the library parking lot, killing time before picking my daughter Lilly up from her evening dance class. I barely listened as the stereo blared catchy tunes from a Britt Nicole CD, but when the last song started playing, I was transfixed.
At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, it was one of those moments when the veil between heaven and earth becomes a little thinner and you catch a tiny glimpse of how God’s tender love has been working in your life for much longer than you ever realized.
I could write a great deal about the transformation that began in my mind and heart during those long years in the wilderness. I’m still processing it, still wondering about all the ways those experiences will affect my life and faith going forward.
Much of it will come out on paper sooner or later, of that I’m quite certain.
But that night in the library parking lot, all that faded to black. Tears came, along with a sense of profound awe and gratefulness.
Britt Nicole sings it far better than I could ever explain it. So here you are, the Song of the Month for September: “Seeing for the First Time.”
P.S. I’m linking up this week with Suzie Eller at #LiveFreeThursday.