What I Learned This Winter

by Lois Flowers

I usually love writing these quarterly posts, but I had to work a little harder on this one.

It’s not that I haven’t learned anything lately. It’s more a matter of life coming at me so fast from so many directions that I’m still processing most of it.

I’m a bit worn out, a bit shocked by how quickly time is passing, more than a bit ready for gardening season.

Maybe you can relate. If so, I hope you take comfort in knowing that you’re not the only one. (That always makes me feel better, anyway.)

Without further ado, here are a few takeaways from this past season of my life.

• Spiritual warfare is real.

I already believed this. But I was reminded of it again when I found myself preparing to speak at my church’s annual Christmas Tea in December.

I’m usually the one who asks people to speak at this event, and some day soon, I’ll share how I ended up behind that podium myself. For now, though, I’ll just say that in the days and weeks leading up to the tea, struggles I thought I had left far behind started plaguing me in exhausting, discouraging ways.

I wanted to quit before I even started, and maybe I would have if I wasn’t the one who would have had to find my own replacement.

I’ve been down this road before, and I had a pretty good idea what was going on. But I’ve never been more thankful to hear from friends who understand the havoc that unseen spiritual forces can wreak when God is working.

“You have been in my prayers constantly the last couple of weeks,” one said in a text. “Praying a hedge of protection around your heart and mind,” wrote another.

The tea talk went well, but it took me awhile to recover. Which is why …

• It’s OK to leave when everyone else comes.

All of my out-of-town siblings, along with many of their spouses and children, came to Kansas in December to visit my parents. We saw many of them the week before Christmas, but a couple of days before Dec. 25, we packed up and drove to North Dakota.

It’s been several years since we spent Christmas with Randy’s folks, and even with so much of my family here, it just seemed like a good time to do it again. As the sibling who is most closely involved with my parents on a daily basis, I’m learning the value of leaving when others come home.

I don’t do it all the time, of course. But sometimes, it’s just good to get away.

And as someone who has hosted more holiday meals than I can count, I also can attest that nothing beats a Christmas dinner that is entirely prepared by one’s mother- and father- in-law. (Thanks, Northern Flowers.)

• Especially now, I love talking to my parents about their courtship.

My mom often can’t remember what she just ate for lunch, but her recollection of the role America’s pastor played in her own personal love story is as sweet and clear as ever.

The year was 1957. She was an Italian girl from the Bronx; he had come to New York from Milwaukee to attend graduate school. They met at a youth rally right before Billy Graham began his lengthy crusade at Madison Square Garden.

Together, they sang in the choir and served as counselors at the historic revival that went on night after night for almost 16 weeks. My parents didn’t meet Graham personally, but both have fond memories of the influence he had on their early days of “going steady.”

And hearing them talk about it—six decades later—makes me very happy.

• Watching Jane Austen movies with your teenage daughter makes a lovely experience even more enjoyable.

Until recently, Lilly much preferred Middle Earth to early 19th Century England, Jack Sparrow to Mr. Darcy, and Princess Leia to Lizzy Bennett.

But after she watched the Pride & Prejudice movie starring Keira Knightley, I convinced her to give the six-hour BBC miniseries a try. And now she’s as hooked on Jane Austen as I am.

So far, we’ve watched the two versions of Pride & Prejudice, Emma, two different takes on Sense & Sensibility and Persuasion (along with Jane Eyre to add a little flavor by a different author). Mansfield Park and Northanger Abbey are up next, as soon as other Austen devotees return them to our local library.

My girl’s newfound interest in Jane Austen hasn’t replaced her love for Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean or Star Wars. She did, however, name the car we just bought for her to drive after a character in Sense & Sensibility.

That’s saying something, I think.

• Elbow grease can be just as satisfying as Demo Day.

We’ve been updating the bathroom in our basement this winter. If this room was on an HGTV show, the abundant cornflower blue tiles on the floor and bathtub walls would likely cause the room to be deemed a “total gut job.”

This is not HGTV, though. Our all-in budget of as little as possible allowed for a fresh coat of paint and new light fixtures but no new flooring.

That was OK with me—I didn’t want the mess that comes with tearing out tile, Randy didn’t want to do the work, and neither of us wanted to pay for it. But once the walls were painted (a lovely shade called “Stillness”) and a sparkly new light fixture installed above the sink, it was obvious that something had to be done about the nasty grout lines on the floor.

Over the course of many years, what used to be bright white had turned into dirty gray, and no amount of mopping (or wishful thinking) could make that gray go away. I searched online for a quick fix—some miracle potion I could simply pour on the floor and wipe off 15 minutes later—but found nothing.

I could have just covered up the nastiness with a white grout pen, but we’d always know what was underneath. So armed with The Works Foaming Bathroom Cleaner and a tool that looks like a large electric toothbrush, I started the painstaking process of scouring that grout.

I’d spray about two square feet, let it sit for 15 or 20 minutes, and then scrub away. It took me several weeks, but the closer I got to the finish line, the more satisfying it became.

I love shows like Fixer Upper as much as the next person. But in the real world, not everything has to be torn out to look good. Sometimes, all you need is persistence and some good old-fashioned elbow grease.

That’s my (not-so) short list—now what did you learn this winter?

Lois

I love shows like Fixer Upper as much as the next person. But in the real world, not everything has to be torn out to look good. Click To Tweet

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Purposeful Faith, Emily Freeman, Coffee for Your Heart, Chasing Community, Faith on Fire, Faith ‘n Friends and Grace & Truth.

Leave a Comment

26 comments

Natalie March 10, 2018 - 5:28 pm

This may be one of my favorite seasonal recap reads ever. And I’m not even entirely sure why. I just know that I nodded and smiled and even laughed. Spiritual warfare, speaking, exhaustion, tile, and the BBC 6 hour Austen with your daughter. This is life today. You did a beautiful job of sharing it.

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Lois Flowers March 13, 2018 - 3:31 pm

Aw … thanks, Natalie! What a sweet thing to say. 🙂 Yes, I think you’re right … all this really is life, isn’t it?

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Carol March 9, 2018 - 12:25 pm

We are blessed to have parents with faith in the Lord. My mother’s memory is fading but she remembers hymns, Bible verses and prayers.
I enjoyed your family centered take-aways and practical approach to updating a bathroom.

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Lois Flowers March 13, 2018 - 3:52 pm

Thanks, Carol. My mom sounds a lot like yours … she always enjoyed listening to teaching programs on the radio, and so when I have the chance, I turn on the radio in her room so we can listen together. It’s fun to watch her nod along and laugh at the funny things the speakers say.

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Lisa notes March 9, 2018 - 11:00 am

Yes, sometimes it is good to get away. I’m glad you were able to do that at Christmas, Lois. Sounds like you’ve been through a lot the past few months. Hope that spring brings a season of refreshing!

I’ve had a wonderful winter getting to spend time with my 6-week old granddaughter. But today I found out I have pink eye, of all things, so I’ll likely have to cancel my trip to see her this weekend.

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Lois Flowers March 13, 2018 - 3:49 pm

Oh no, Lisa … I hope your pink eye is all better now! What a wonderful way to spend a winter … getting to know your sweet new grandbaby!

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Sarah Donegan March 8, 2018 - 4:40 pm

I love hearing about your family and how close you all are. Keep hanging out with your girls and helping your parents! You will never regret that time!

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Lois Flowers March 13, 2018 - 3:48 pm

I think you’re right, Sarah. Even when all we do is sit in comfortable silence, I’m always glad I’ve spent time with my parents together. 🙂

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bethany mcilrath March 8, 2018 - 9:03 am

Such a sweet and honest list, Lois! What topic did you talk about at the Christmas Tea? I’m also a big fan of cleaning and tweaking over tearing out– except for the white carpet in our bathroom : P That’s gotta go!! This winter I think I’ve learned most the pure joy of receiving from the Lord with open hands instead of trying to get Him to meet expectations I’ve set!

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Lois Flowers March 13, 2018 - 3:43 pm

White carpet in a bathroom? That’s horrifying, Bethany! 🙂 I love the lesson you’ve learned … and I’m so happy you have had the opportunity to learn it. As for my tea topic, I’m working on adapting my talk into a couple of blog posts, so stay tuned for that. 🙂

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Valerie Sisco March 7, 2018 - 11:17 am

Hi Lois,
I love your mention of Fixer Upper and showing us your bath because I just had my kitchen floor grout cleaned professionally and it looks amazing! (I had no idea it would delight me so much!) But I’m admiring how you tackled the job yourself 🙂 — and I’m eager to hear in a future post how you became the speaker at your women’s event — kudos to handling that challenge! xo

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Lois Flowers March 13, 2018 - 3:42 pm

Thanks, Valerie! Are you a Fixer Upper fan too? (What are we going to do on Tuesday nights when the show ends?) My kitchen floor grout is nasty too, but so is the tile. Replacing the whole floor is on our list of future home-improvement projects, but what a job that’s going to be! Hugs, friend!

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Michele Morin March 7, 2018 - 8:06 am

LOVE that 6 hour mini-series!
And thanks for pulling this collection together. Isn’t it great to rehearse the faithfulness of God at the end of a season? We forget so much until we put forth the effort to see and remember.

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Lois Flowers March 13, 2018 - 3:38 pm

I know what you mean, Michele. I always think of more things to write while I’m in the middle of doing this. I had to cut it short this time because it was too long already, but I did consider doing a part 2. 🙂

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Jeanne Takenaka March 6, 2018 - 9:33 pm

Lois, I thought I commented this morning, but . . . obviously not. 🙂

I so enjoyed this post! I can completely understand the desire to have a little down time when you don’t have to be the primary caregiver for loved ones. I am glad you were treated to a meal prepared by Randy’s parents.

How fun that your daughter is becoming a Jane Austen fan! I haven’t watched all of those movies yet, but I’ve watched a few of them, and loved them. 🙂

And, your bathroom. You are a diligent worker. I don’t know if I’d have the patience to do all that scrubbing. Your “new” bathroom looks beautiful, friend!

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Jeanne Takenaka March 6, 2018 - 9:34 pm

And I’m not sure how I forgot to mention how I loved reading about how your mom shares about her courtship.

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Lois Flowers March 13, 2018 - 3:35 pm

🙂

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Lois Flowers March 13, 2018 - 3:35 pm

Thanks, Jeanne! The basement bathroom was practice for the second-floor bathroom, which has the same lovely blue tile on its floor. (groan) Randy thinks I need to “let” the girls clean that one, but it is kind of therapeutic, in it’s own weird way! And as for Austen, we are now midway through another BBC marathon … this one of Mansfield Park. Have you seen this one? It’s not nearly as good as Pride & Prejudice, but we’re too invested in it to stop now, despite the shaky camera work from the 1980s!

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Maree Dee March 6, 2018 - 4:02 pm

Lois, You have learned a lot this winter. It was a pleasure reading about it and hearing the joy in your voice.

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Lois Flowers March 12, 2018 - 9:04 am

Thank you so much, Maree. I feel like there are a lot more loose ends in my mind than lessons learned from this winter, so I’m glad enjoyed reading this! 🙂

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Trudy March 6, 2018 - 3:43 pm

Thank you for sharing these take-aways, Lois. I loved reading about your parents’ courtship and am delighted your mom is still able to tell it. Also how God again showed that He is the final Victor in that spiritual warfare. And your bathroom looks lovely. 🙂 Love and hugs to you!

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Lois Flowers March 12, 2018 - 9:01 am

Watching my mom’s face when we’ve talked about her and my dad’s courtship has been so sweet, Trudy. I’m sad about Billy Graham’s death but I am grateful that it has given my parents another way to remember together. I hope you have a lovely week, my friend!

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Lesley March 6, 2018 - 12:15 pm

I enjoyed hearing more about your last few months, Lois, and I love the story about your parents spending time together at the Billy Graham crusade! Well done on your bathroom- it looks great! And I’m glad your talk went well in the end after all the challenges as you prepared.

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Lois Flowers March 12, 2018 - 8:58 am

Thanks, Lesley! I hope your week is off to a good start. 🙂

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Linda Stoll March 6, 2018 - 8:25 am

I do believe my parents sang at that same Billy Graham Crusade, right along with yours.

Precious.

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Lois Flowers March 8, 2018 - 4:17 pm

Aw, Linda … that is so cool! 🙂

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