When You’re Dreading the Next Step

by Lois Flowers

A couple of months ago, I was scheduled to go to the neurologist with my dad.

To say I was dreading the appointment would be an understatement. The last time I had gone with my parents to see this doctor, I learned that my mom had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s dementia. The office was in a different location now, but I still had no desire to go back there.

My dad’s appointment was on a Monday. The Saturday before, my oldest brother and his wife invited my family and me to join them for breakfast at Cracker Barrel.

As I was passing through the “Old Country Store” part of the restaurant, something several yards away caught my eye. Tucked in a display among the farmhouse decorations and lacy bohemian tunics was a pillow that said, “Suck it up, buttercup.”

I know it’s not the kind of encouragement you’d find on a DaySpring card. It’s more like your spunky aunt from Alabama telling you to put on your big-girl panties and do what you have to do.

In my mind, though, everything sounds nicer in a southern drawl. And that phrase, in particular, really struck a chord with me.

As I was going through the day leading up to the neurologist appointment—which actually turned out far worse, for different reasons, than I ever expected—those four little words kept going through my mind.

When memories of what happened the last time popped into my head. Suck it up, buttercup.

When fear about what might transpire this time roiled my stomach. Suck it up, buttercup.

When I was getting into my car, driving the short distance to the medical building and waiting for my dad to arrive in the nursing home van. Suck it up, buttercup.

As strange as it may sound, that feisty phrase gave me the gumption to do what I needed to do that day. It still is, to tell you the truth.

Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not placing Suck it up, buttercup above scripture, friends or worship music in the encouragement department.

It’s not meant to minimize the hard, dismiss the struggle or eliminate the need for wise counselors or empathetic comforters. And it’s definitely not a message I want to hear from anyone else, for goodness’ sake.

But when I’m in a moment where I just need to shove aside my internal conflicts and do the darn thing already, it does help.

Suck it up, buttercup.

You can pray for strength, wisdom, courage and direction all day long. But sometimes, you get to a point where you just have to act.

Nobody else can do that thing you’re dreading. It’s up to you to take the next step.

When you reach that spot, maybe you should try telling yourself what I’ve been telling myself.

Suck it up, buttercup.

You can do this.

You have to do this.

Then take a deep breath and push open that door.

Lois

You can pray for strength, wisdom, courage and direction all day long. But sometimes, you get to a point where you just have to act. Click To Tweet

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Purposeful Faith, #TellHisStoryLet’s Have Coffee, Faith on Fire, Faith ‘n Friends and Grace & Truth.

Leave a Comment

20 comments

Deb Wolf May 10, 2019 - 1:24 pm

Wow, Lois, this is so good! And so true! I keep reminding myself that I just need to do right now. And I believe God is always able to give us the strength we need to “suck it up” and do right now! Thanks for this! Blessings!

Reply
Lois Flowers May 13, 2019 - 11:47 am

“I just need to do right now.” That’s where I am too, Deb. And what a blessing it is that God goes before us and is with us, just as you wrote about in your post last week. 🙂

Reply
April May 10, 2019 - 1:49 am

This post feels so relatable to me! I agree with you that I wouldn’t appreciate someone else saying that phrase to me but I can see how it would be something I’d say to myself. It’ certainly can be hard to do those things that bring up difficult emotions. #faithandfriends linkup 🙂

Reply
Lois Flowers May 13, 2019 - 11:46 am

Haha … you know what I’m talking about hearing this from someone else, April! I’m glad you were able to relate!

Reply
Jeanne Takenaka May 7, 2019 - 9:59 pm

I loved this post, Lois. There are most definitely times when we need that little southern-drawl reminder that we’ve just gotta git-‘er-done. I’m so sorry things have been so difficult for your family. I’m continuing to pray for you, friend.

Reply
Lois Flowers May 13, 2019 - 11:44 am

Git-er-done! Yes, Jeanne! Thanks so much for your prayers … I’ve been praying for you too. 🙂

Reply
Bethany May 7, 2019 - 9:33 pm

Said to ourselves (especially with a sweet Southern drawl) this is really helpful. Thanks for sharing this! The pillow is charming! I’m sorry for the difficulty that came with this story and the need to act.

Reply
Lois Flowers May 13, 2019 - 11:43 am

You’re welcome, Bethany. I love the pillow too. I only wish I had actually purchased it (and now Cracker Barrel is sold out.) I’ll know better next time! 🙂

Reply
Jennifer Smith May 7, 2019 - 2:41 pm

Glad you are finding your strength to push on….and in the most creative places:)

Reply
Lois Flowers May 13, 2019 - 11:42 am

Thanks, Jennifer! 🙂

Reply
Trudy May 7, 2019 - 2:22 pm

I’m glad the phrase helped to give you the gumption to do what you needed to do, Lois. As Linda said, God speaks in whatever way He thinks is best for us. But I hope you will allow yourself grace, too, to stop and rest and address your own pains, too. I do worry about you getting burn-out in this caregiving role you’ve been carrying for so long. You remain in my prayers. Love and blessings of strength and peace in all your struggles and grief!

Reply
Lois Flowers May 13, 2019 - 11:42 am

Thank you so much for your love, care and concern, Trudy. I’m trying to take more short naps, to allow myself to feel whatever it is I’m feeling (or not feeling), and to pray when I wake up in the night with cares running through my head. To-do lists help too … when I’m feeling overwhelmed or sad, doing some task that needs to be done anyway often gets me over that hump. Hugs, friend.

Reply
Rebecca Hastings May 7, 2019 - 2:08 pm

This is so true! Action just needs to happen sometimes, no matter the circumstances we face. We can trust that God will give us the strength to Suck it up, Buttercup!

Reply
Lois Flowers May 13, 2019 - 11:38 am

Amen, Rebecca! 🙂

Reply
Linda Stoll May 7, 2019 - 7:01 am

Yep, the phrases and verses and songs that grab hold of our hearts will morph and change from week to week.

But that’s ok. God can speak to us in whatever way He thinks will be best for us.

Even through sassy sayings on overpriced pillows in gift shops.

Thanks for sharing what’s getting you through, friend … I’m learning from you, week in and week out.

Reply
Lois Flowers May 13, 2019 - 11:37 am

Oh yes, Linda … I’m so glad God knows the best ways to get through to each of us. I actually went back to Cracker Barrel to take a picture of that overpriced pillow because I didn’t do it when we were there with my brother and his wife. I almost bought it on my second trip, but decided not to. Now they are sold out, and I wish I had gone ahead and spent the $19.99 or whatever it was! Oh well, message received, and lesson learned (you snooze, you lose)! And at least I have the picture. 🙂

Reply
Michele Morin May 7, 2019 - 6:41 am

I’m not much of a pillow theologian either, Lois, but those words resonate for me far more clearly than some which (on the surface, anyway) sound way more spiritual. I can’t imagine Elisabeth Elliot spouting that exact phrasing, but I sure hear the gritty sound of “do the next thing” reverberating through it!

Reply
Lois Flowers May 13, 2019 - 11:32 am

Haha … I can’t imagine Elizabeth Elliot saying that either, Michele. But yes, the message definitely is to do the next thing (already)! 🙂

Reply
Joanne Viola May 7, 2019 - 6:30 am

Lois, it is always amazing how God gives us exactly what we need to push forward and get through a situation. Sometimes He even uses a pillow at Cracker Barrel 🙂

Reply
Lois Flowers May 13, 2019 - 11:31 am

So true, Joanne! Pillows, donkeys, scripture, handwriting on the wall … God will use whatever it takes, I guess. 🙂

Reply