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Lois Flowers

What I Learned When I Wrote Every Day

by Lois Flowers October 5, 2021
by Lois Flowers

When Randy and I decided to do the Whole30 last October, it also seemed like a good opportunity to become more disciplined about writing every day.

I didn’t have a specific topic to cover, although in retrospect, it would have been beneficial if I had come up with some categories in advance. My main goal was to form a habit, to get into the practice of sitting down at the desk in the kitchen and typing until I had strung several paragraphs together.

They didn’t even have to go together, those paragraphs. I just wanted words on a screen, every single day of October.

There were days when I wrote paragraphs that I used later in blog posts, and there were days when I basically recounted what had happened during the last 12 or 24 hours. Somewhere along the way, I realized that this practice I was developing was something I needed to continue in some form or fashion.

I adapted it to fit what seemed to work best for me, which meant not writing on weekends when I’m much more distracted. Some months since then, I’ve done well. Other months (like the whole summer) I didn’t even try.

I don’t know how all these dots connect, but here’s what I learned that first month—while I was writing every day (except for one Sunday when I forgot) and preparing meals within some very strict boundaries.

• Writing every day is helpful. Particularly if I do it in the morning, when my thoughts are more cogent, more meaningful and more likely to lead to something I can use somewhere else.

• Intentional writing breeds more (and possibly better) writing. It may not work this way for everyone, but when I sit down and start typing, words start flowing. There’s nothing sacred about it. For every five paragraphs, one sentence might be worth saving. But every now and then, there’s a chunk of something that captures exactly what’s swishing around in my head, and if I had jotted the idea down on paper and told myself I would come back to it later, it wouldn’t be the same.

• Reading books about writing also is helpful. I know other writers enjoy these types of books, but for some reason, I’ve never really gotten into them. Last fall, though, I read several that challenged and encouraged me to stop talking about writing and start doing it more often, and to pay attention to the worth and purpose of every word. (On Writing Well and Writing about Your Life by William Zinsser come to mind, as does Marion Roach Smith’s The Memoir Project: A Thoroughly Non-Standardized Text for Writing & Life.)

• What helps me, more than reading books about writing, is reading books that are really well written. I realize that what speaks to me is not necessarily what speaks to others. But when I hear a clear, concise voice in a book, it triggers better words in my own mind.

It seems like it’s been a long time coming, but it’s October again. Randy and I are five days into another round of the Whole30, and once again, I have another daily writing goal.

This time, it includes organizing about five months’ worth of writing on a topic close to my heart, in hopes that when I’m done it will resemble the beginnings of a book.

Neither process—giving up sugar, grains, dairy and peanut butter for a month or working on this deeply personal book project—promises to be easy. But I’ve done hard things before, same as you.

One day at a time, one meal at a time, one word at a time.

Onward and upward.

♥ Lois

Intentional writing breeds more (and possibly better) writing. Share on X When I hear a clear, concise voice in a book, it triggers better words in my own mind. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Recharge Wednesday, Let’s Have Coffee, Inspire Me Monday, #HeartEncouragement and Grace & Truth.

Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash

October 5, 2021 30 comments
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Share Four Somethings: September 2021

by Lois Flowers September 28, 2021
by Lois Flowers

This Rambler Marlin, which Randy and I spotted at an antique car show last month, is way cooler than the boxy Rambler Americans my dad drove throughout my childhood. (See Something Treasured below.)

It finally feels like fall in Kansas.

I don’t care about pumpkin spice and orange leaves, but I’m happily wearing my favorite long leggings with cozy cardigans every chance I get. Even better, the chill in the air gives me about 40 extra springs in my step when I’m out on an early morning run.

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September 28, 2021 22 comments
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Why We Eat in the Dining Room

by Lois Flowers September 21, 2021
by Lois Flowers

When I was cleaning out my blog files a few weeks ago, I came across some bits and pieces that I had intended to turn into full blog posts at some point. Reading them with fresh eyes, I realized I still wanted to share the content, but in more of a smorgasbord-type piece.

I should probably do this more often, actually. It might keep the file of future posts from getting overgrown again. At any rate, here are a few thoughts about eating in the dining room, a writing suggestion, and a quote that you might find encouraging. As always, feel free to chime in about any or all of it in the comment section below.

• • •

When I was waiting to pick up Molly from school one day, the hosts of a local radio talk show were discussing dining rooms. One was quite adamant in her belief that “nobody eats in dining rooms anymore.”

I have two opinionated teenagers, so I’m familiar with such emphatically stated proclamations. I also know this: people still eat in dining rooms.

At least they do in my house.

It may come as a shock if you watch HGTV, but not everyone has (or wants) an open-concept floor plan. Our 34-year-old house is sort of a hybrid—there are no walls separating our dining room from the main living area, but the rooms appear to be distinct because the eating area has an 8-foot ceiling and the living-room ceiling is two stories high.

We started having supper in the dining room instead of our eat-in kitchen one December when our Christmas tree was set up in the space between the living and dining areas. When the holidays were over and all the decorations put away, we never moved back to the kitchen, and I’m so glad we didn’t.

What I love about the dining room is that it fosters lingering. We aren’t all in a rush to get up and put the dishes and leftovers away. We often just sit and talk, even after we’ve had a little bit of dessert and Randy pours his customary after-dinner quarter-cup of milk.

Our conversations aren’t necessarily profound. Those that veer toward this territory generally happen spontaneously and are usually brought on by something completely unrelated to the deeper topic.

Whatever we talk about, though, I always leave the table feeling thankful—for our family, for laughter, for the opportunity to spend these moments together every night.

• • •

A few years ago, I was working on a blog post about someone who did something to help me out that I felt went above and beyond the call of duty.

“Her kindness floored me,” I wrote.

When Randy read my post, he suggested I tone down my exuberance a bit. “It would floor me if I won the lottery,” he said, “not when someone does something nice for me.”

I suppose that would depend on what the nice thing was, but he had a point. Words mean things, and choosing the right ones for any given situation is important. There’s a time and a place for dramatic verbiage, but often, stating things plainly is more effective.

Another time, I read a blog post that the author said she had revised something like 87 times because she was so nervous about what she was about to share. A comment like that makes me think one of two things—either the writer is a perfectionist to the point of needing serious help, or she’s about to tell me that she served time for armed robbery when she was younger.

I don’t remember the exact cause of her trepidation, but I think it had something to do with the fact that she yells at her kids too much or struggles with irritability.

I realize that what might be a huge deal to one person might simply be a blip on my radar screen. But if I had the chance, here’s what I’d share with that blogger: If you’re writing about a personal flaw or shortcoming, just write about it. As a very wise editor once told me, don’t put thoughts in your readers’ minds that they might not think of themselves.

For example, resist the urge to add caveats like, “You may be thinking that I am the worst mother in the world.”

Chances are, they are not thinking that, but now that you mention it, they may very well start. Just tell the story—without trying to address rebuttals that might not come up—and hit post (or publish or whatever). Life is too short to revise anything—especially a blog post—87 times.

• • •

Speaking of irritability and yelling at our kids, I’ll close with an encouraging quote by Martin Luther about—of all things—spiritual growth and repentance.

“This life, therefore, is not righteousness, but growth in righteousness, not health, but healing, not being, but becoming, not rest, but exercise. We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it. The process is not yet finished, but it is going on. This is not the end, but it is the road. All does not yet gleam in glory, but all is being purified.”

~ from “Defense and Explanation of All the Articles,” in Luther’s Works, Volume 32: Career of the Reformer II

♥ Lois

Eating in the dining room fosters lingering. We aren’t all in a rush to get up and put the dishes and leftovers away. We often just sit and talk. Share on X Words mean things, and choosing the right ones for any given situation is important. There’s a time and a place for dramatic verbiage, but often, stating things plainly is more effective. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Recharge Wednesday, Let’s Have Coffee, Inspire Me Monday and Grace & Truth.

Photo by Spacejoy on Unsplash

September 21, 2021 34 comments
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Cleaning Out and Moving Forward

by Lois Flowers September 14, 2021
by Lois Flowers

Last month I wrote about the small joys in life that can still be found, despite the chaos and turmoil that seem to be increasing all around us.

I meant every word of that blog post. I also felt like I was sinking deeper into quicksand with every step I took.

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September 14, 2021 28 comments
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I Finally Understand What Mom Meant

by Lois Flowers September 7, 2021
by Lois Flowers

“Don’t wish your life away.”

My mom used to tell me this quite frequently—when I was expressing my desire to be done with high school or college, or when I was looking forward to the end of summer so I could quit my job at the swimming pool and return to school.

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September 7, 2021 35 comments
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When You’re the Exception, not the Rule 

by Lois Flowers August 31, 2021
by Lois Flowers

I was walking at the lake with a friend.

I’ve known her for years. I know some of the more heart-wrenching parts of her story, though not every daily struggle.

At some point in our conversation, menopause came up. I expressed to her that when I entered this season of life at 41, a full 10 years earlier than the average woman, I felt more alone than at any other time in my life.

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August 31, 2021 30 comments
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As long as we’re here on planet Earth, God has a good purpose for us. This is true no matter how old we are, what we feel on any given day or what we imagine anyone else thinks about us. It can be a struggle, though, to believe this and live like it. It requires divine strength and eternal hope. And so I write, one pilgrim to another, in an effort to encourage us both as we navigate the long walk home together.

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