Inside: Why it helps to remember our sovereign Savior directs our steps in every season of our lives, not just the beginning and the end. ~
“All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” ~ Psalm 139:16b (NIV)
When my husband Randy and I were waiting to adopt our two daughters from China, we didn’t know who or where they were. God did, though, and it soothed our longing hearts to remember He was watching over them and guiding their precious lives.
The dates they were born—and later joined our family—were written in His book long before we ever dreamed of becoming their parents. This truth was a lifeline for us as we counted down the days to meet them.
Decades Later …
Psalm 139:16 proved foundational once again when my own mom and dad were nearing the end of their lives. As the person making all their medical decisions, I clung to the understanding that, while I was evaluating the options and signing the paperwork, God was the One who was directing their steps.
In the months following their deaths, when the regrets and what-ifs kept me up night after night, Randy often reminded me that nothing I could have done differently would have changed the day each of them died, five weeks apart.
Those days were written in God’s book too, long before they were born.
This thought gave me peace then, and it gives me solace even now as I miss my parents in fresh new ways. It may not be the kind of truth we share with newly grieving loved ones, but we can pray it becomes a comfort to them as they mourn.
The Days In Between
When we think of how God orchestrates the days of our lives, I suppose it’s natural to focus on birth dates and death dates, on beginnings and endings. In recent years, though, I’ve started to comprehend in a deeper way how God is sovereign over “all the days” and milestone events of our lives, not just the beginning and the end.
I went through some challenging years of hormonal upheaval in my late 30s and was post-menopausal at 41—a full 10 years before the “average woman” hits this milestone.
During these years, I often struggled with why. Why this continued trouble, after all the pain my broken reproductive system had already given me? Why now, so early in my life compared to “everyone else”?
Now, though, I can look back and see how God used this “bad timing” in ways that were beneficial for me, and for others.
Sovereign Timing
Had I been trying to manage menopausal symptoms even five years later, it would have been much harder for me to function as a mom, wife and daughter during my parents’ last years and months.
Even earlier, God used my experience with perimenopause to turn this logical girl into a person with a deeper capacity for empathy and compassion than I had before—or even realized I was lacking. I’m still a work in progress, but I’m grateful for the seeds God planted during that tough season.
As difficult as it was and as much as I prayed for it to be over, that phase of my life was written in God’s book too, along with all your days and seasons—good and bad.
God Knows
The older we get, the more problems we may have, and the more we might be tempted to wonder if God is paying attention to the details of our days. Did this devastating diagnosis somehow slip past His omnipotent notice? How are the other events and circumstances that are causing weakness, sorrow, sickness and distress in or around us working out for our good, as Romans 8:28 promises?
We haven’t even gotten to the inevitable “why” questions that, as most of us have figured out by now, usually have no discernable answers. Why this? Why them? Why now?
Psalm 139:16 doesn’t answer our “why” questions. But as we move forward in faith on this long walk home, it does assure us that each mile marker and significant event on the way is known to the sovereign God who loves us and will never abandon us.
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Are there events or circumstances in your life that left you questioning God’s timing but now seem like they happened exactly at the right time? Does remembering God is sovereign over “all our days” soften loss for you? Please share your answers in the comments.
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♥ Lois
Note: This article originally appeared on the Sage Forum Substack.
Also, I’m linking up this week with InstaEncouragements and Let’s Have Coffee.