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Lois Flowers

When a Hard Question Reminds Us of Comforting Truth

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: When I wonder how my accident last year fit into God’s will, looking back at another tough season brings helpful clarity. I hope what I noticed encourages you as you reflect on your own life. ~

Was getting hit by a car last year God’s will for my life?

There’s nothing like starting a blog post with an easy question, right? Seriously, though, it’s an issue I pondered quite a bit after my bike accident 18 months ago. Perhaps you have asked a similar question after something difficult or tragic happened to you too.

Randy and I discussed it, even argued some. He believes, as do I, that God allowed the accident, and that His good purposes will result from it. What we differed on was whether the accident itself was His will.

God’s Book

I lean toward yes, because of the scripture that says all the days of my life were written in God’s book before one of them came to be (Psalm 139:16b). The way I see it, if one specific day of my life includes an accident, then that particular event was written in God’s book too. Which means it is part of His will for my life.

I don’t think God caused the accident. But in my mind, if He allows something that happens to me, it’s part of His plan for me. If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t have happened. I don’t know how or why this works; I simply believe it.

That said, I don’t insist on this perspective in a dogmatic way. When it comes to this issue, especially, I think there’s room for semantics, as well as different ways of looking at the circumstances.

Another Difficult Season

Another example from my life helped me think about this more clearly. Maybe it will encourage you too if you’ve ever struggled with reconciling God’s will with the hard parts of life.

In my 20s and 30s, I had stage 4 endometriosis that caused pain and wreaked havoc on my reproductive system. Endometriosis is a disease, and disease is a symptom of sin. Not my sin, necessarily, but the sin that entered the world when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit.

In my case, endometriosis caused me to be infertile. And because I was infertile, Randy and I decided to adopt two children—our daughters Lilly and Molly—from China.

God’s Purpose

Some might wonder whether it was God’s will for me to be infertile or to suffer from endometriosis. I don’t have a firm answer to that, but here’s what I do know for certain.

God’s will was that our family would come together by way of adoption and that it would be made up of me, Randy, Lilly and Molly. Randy and I couldn’t conceive, but we still wanted to be parents. And God used our infertility to accomplish His will for our family.

In other words, He allowed my endometriosis. And in the long run, He used it to fulfill His purposes for the Flowers family. I’m so thankful for this; I cannot imagine my family any other way.

Comforting Truth

Which brings me back around to my accident, and to situations in your life that may trigger similar questions about God’s will. We have to consider two factors—semantics, as I mentioned earlier, along with the possibility that we may never have definitive answers.

As we wait for the more difficult part of our stories to unfold, however, we can allow the truth of scripture to settle our souls and calm our hearts.

Psalm 138:8 assures us that “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for [us].” Philippians 1:6 promises us that “He who began a good work in [us] will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” And Romans 8:28 reminds us that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

We should never toss these Bible verses out like cliches when we can’t think of anything else to say to another hurting person. But when we hide them away in the quietness of our hearts, they can offer hope and serve as a lifeline when the hard questions swirling around us have no immediate answers.

• • •

I’ve barely skimmed the surface when it comes to the topic of God’s will and how it relates to suffering. If you have thoughts about this, I’d love for you to share them in the comments.

♥ Lois

In my mind, if God allows something that happens to me, it’s part of His plan for me. If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t have happened. Share on X As we wait for the more difficult chapters of our stories to unfold, we can allow the truth of scripture to settle our souls and calm our hearts. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with InstaEncouragements and Let’s Have Coffee.

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What We Learn When Faithful Flowers Fail to Bloom

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: Sadly, my surprise lilies didn’t flower this summer. But knowing they should be OK next year is a comforting thought in a season of change. ~

Some years, certain plants in my flowerbeds thrive while others struggle. The next year, it could be the other way around. But I’ve always been able to count on my surprise lilies to do exactly what God designed them to do.

In the spring, their foliage pops up, looking similar to the daffodil greenery that appears around the same time. Unlike the daffodils, though, the surprise lilies don’t bloom in this season. Over the next several weeks, their leaves grow—storing up energy for future flowers—and then die back.

Several months later, stark stalks spring up where the foliage used to be, topped in short order by the loveliest pale pink lilies imaginable.

In my yard, some surprise lilies bloom in the latter half of July, while others—including the ones in the front flowerbed—show up a few weeks later. I know this because over the years, they consistently showed up in the background of the first-day-of-school photos I used to take of my daughters.

This year, there were no back-to-school pictures, and no surprise lilies either.

What Happened?

I’d actually forgotten about them until I saw a lone clump at a neighbor’s house. As I gazed at the blank spots in my flowerbeds where the lilies normally pop up, I remembered a few critical facts.

We had a very early spring this year, followed by a late snow that fell right when the surprise lily foliage was growing. The damage was unsightly, so I cut back the spent leaves sooner than usual.

Either they didn’t have time to store up enough blooming energy before I cut them, or the snow itself stunted the growth of the blooms this year.

Whatever the case, I was deeply disappointed. These unique plants have bloomed faithfully every year since I dug up the bulbs near the road by my childhood home and planted them in my yard. (I also had my first-ever encounter with poison ivy during that process, which makes it stand out in my mind even more.)

The Deeper Story

I missed the consistent presence of those pale pink flowers in a season already marked by transitions and new normals. Lilly is now married and living in Northwest Arkansas. Molly will graduate from college—also in Northwest Arkansas—next May. And only God knows where she will be at this time next year.

I’m truly happy about the recent developments and future possibilities in my girls’ lives. Somehow, though, the empty nest feels different this year. Emptier, somehow. Lonelier. And definitely quieter.

At times, it feels like I’m failing to bloom just like the surprise lilies.

Fortunately, Google assures me the lilies should be fine next year. I’m already hoping for no late snows, and you can be sure I will resist every urge to cut back the ugly spent foliage too soon.

As for Me…

At the same time, learning that these sweet plants can bounce back after an off year is oddly comforting as I think about my actual life. I’m in a period of adjusting, for sure, but I’m guessing I’ll find my way forward just like generations of moms before me.

I’m thankful that in my current state of unsettledness—as well as during any season you may find yourself in—my favorite Bible verse still applies: “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deuteronomy 31:8).

As my time outside often does, this summer of gardening has reminded me of a few simple truths. Seasons change, landscapes change, and gardeners change too.

Change is hard, even when it’s planned and desired. But what a blessing to remember that the God who never changes is with us through every high and low, every pause and pivot, and every drought and flood.

• • •

How do you feel about change? Has a lack of blooms on any of your plants (in the house or outside) ever evoked emotion in you? Please share in the comments.

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with InstaEncouragements and Let’s Have Coffee.

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Share Four Somethings: September 2026

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: A cornerstone family memory, plus antique car shows, cherished time with a loved one, a new writing spot and praying with other moms again. ~

Twenty-four years ago this week, we adopted our older daughter Lilly.

As you might expect, her “Gotcha Day” has deep meaning for me and Randy as it marks the moment we became parents after a long wait.

When Lilly was younger, I would commemorate this occasion by making a celebratory poster (see photo above). Randy would come home from work with a bouquet of flowers for our sweet girl, and later in the evening, we’d often watch the precious video of when we met her for the first time.

Those days are long gone. Lilly is married and living in another state.

Randy and I still remember what happened on that long-ago September day, of course, but more quietly than before. That seems to be the case with so many things during this season of our lives, and I’m learning to be OK with it.

It’s been almost a year since I wrote a Share Four Somethings post, but this year’s categories are dovetailing perfectly with my current state of reflection. I’m glad you’re here to look back at the last month with me, starting with …

Something I Loved

Randy and I have been to a few antique car shows in the last few weeks. The first one—held in conjunction with our city’s annual community celebration—was small, with fewer than 100 vehicles. As we strolled from car to car, Randy guessed the age of each vehicle before I checked the tag (he was always spot on or pretty close), and we talked about how you can often tell how big an engine is by looking at the valve covers. (You learn something new every day, right?)

Then last weekend, we traveled south to the Ol’ Marais River Run Car Show in Ottawa, Kan. Among the 1,300-plus vehicles at this event, we spotted several 1964 Falcon Futuras (Randy’s first car that is now at the top of his project-car wish list) and a lone—and surprisingly souped up—Rambler American (see photo below). My dad drove these boxy automobiles when I was a kid, although his weren’t nearly as cool as the one at the show.

Something that Sustained Me

After more than 32 years of marriage, I’m thankful that spending time with Randy—wandering around cars shows in the late-summer heat, watching All Creatures Great and Small on DVDs from the library, playing cards at the dining-room table or simply chatting in the living room—is as life-giving as ever. (Even when he wallops me so badly in Hand and Foot that you’d think I’d never played our family’s favorite card game before.)

Something I’m Carrying Forward

My regular writing routines were greatly disrupted last year, and I’ve struggled find my pace again. Several weeks ago, I decided a change of scenery and more consistency would be helpful.

We have a quiet nook at the top of our stairs that overlooks the entryway on one side and the living room on the other side. The square oak kitchen table from my childhood home is up there, and although I haven’t used it for this purpose for many years, it makes the perfect writing spot.

Beginning Sept. 1, I started setting my microwave timer for an hour and going upstairs with my laptop. Most weekdays, I sit at the little table under the skylight and write with no distractions for at least 60 minutes.

My words usually flow best in the mornings, but even if I don’t make it up there until late afternoon, this new rhythm seems to be working for me. I’m looking forward to keeping it going in October.

Something I’m Making Space For

I participated in various Moms in Prayer groups in my community when Lilly and Molly were in elementary and high school, but I haven’t been involved in one since before Covid. Earlier this year, though, I felt the nudge to look for a group that included moms with older children.

A few weeks before Lilly’s wedding in March, I joined a group of praying mothers with kids ranging in age from grade school to young adult. Many of the students represented are in high school and college, although this year, we also have a mom with preschoolers.

We meet on Thursday mornings. This has always been one of my better days for writing, but I love praying for my children, learning from other empty nest moms and encouraging women who have kids younger than mine. So I’m glad this weekly prayer meeting is back on my calendar after our summer break.

• • •

Now it’s your turn. As you think about the last month, how would you respond to these Share Four Something categories? Also, if you enjoy antique car shows, I’d love to know which vehicles catch your eye as you wander around.

♥ Lois

I love praying for my children, learning from other empty nest moms and encouraging women who have kids younger than mine. Share on X If you enjoy antique car shows, which vehicles catch your eye as you wander around? Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Share Four Somethings, InstaEncouragements and Let’s Have Coffee.

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5 Helpful Reminders for Praying Moms in Any Parenting Season

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: Praying for children of any age takes perseverance, intentionality and—if you’re anything like me—a user-friendly plan. Here are a few other thoughts about parental prayer that I hope encourage you today. ~

My parents prayed for their children—faithfully and consistently—throughout their 60 years of marriage. In fact, I used to joke that if I ever wanted to know what was going on in the lives of my six siblings, all I had to do was drop by my parents’ house when they were doing their devotions together and pretend to be a fly on the wall.

My mom and dad have been gone for more than seven years. I don’t believe specific prayers have expiration dates, but I do miss knowing they are praying for me and my family now.

These days, I’m the one lifting my own children before the throne of heaven, and how could I not? I’ve seen the impact of a praying parent in my own life and the lives of my siblings, so it’s my joy and privilege to carry this on for my own family.

Plan to Pray

That said, I’ll be the first to acknowledge it’s not always easy. It takes perseverance, intentionality and—most importantly for me and perhaps also for you—a plan that is easy to follow and not too overwhelming.

I realized this about 13 years ago, when my daughters were 11 and 8. Although I had prayed for them regularly over the years, I sensed a strong need to be more focused and strategic as they began to navigate their pre-teen and teen years.

I had been using Stormie Omartian’s wonderful book The Power of a Praying Parent as a devotional of sorts, reading one of the 30 topical chapters every day and personalizing the prayers at the end of each one.

This was a lot of material to cover, so I eventually went through the entire book, pulling specific requests from each chapter to form a daily list of my own. I printed out the prayer guide and have used it ever since.

Timeless Requests

A few items don’t apply anymore. Lilly doesn’t need me to pray that she’ll have a teachable spirit regarding math, for example, and I no longer include spelling on Molly’s list of growth opportunities.

But as I look at specific requests under topics ranging from “Being the Person God Created” and “Feeling Loved and Accepted” to “Living Free of Unforgiveness” and “Growing in Faith,” I’m amazed at how relevant they still are for my now-young-adult daughters.

My way of praying for my children is not the only way, of course. The point is to pray—intentionally and consistently—so long as you have breath in your lungs (or strength in your fingers if you prefer to write or type your prayers).

Encouraging Reminders

As I think about what I’ve learned from more than decade of praying for my girls, a few thoughts come to mind that might encourage you, no matter how old your children are and what prayer strategy works best for you.

I’ll begin with a message for mothers, specifically.

• Never, ever underestimate the difference that you can make when you pray for your children yourself.

It’s wonderful if you can pray for your kids with your spouse or perhaps a group of other praying mothers. But as individual moms, we often have a sense of what our children need, what they are struggling with and what they can become that others don’t always have.

Although we might not pray about every tiny detail about their lives, every single day, no need is too small to cover in prayer.

• The older our children get, the more critical it is that we pray for them intentionally. I’m sharing fewer spoken words with my girls now that they are living in another state, but I’m talking to God about them more than ever.

The world seems to be getting darker and crazier with every passing day, and if we want our children to survive and thrive out there, the best thing we can do is pray for them.

• God knows what our children need to become who He designed them to be. This often includes allowing them to experience hardships that we might prefer to “pray away.”

We can see from our own life stories that it’s often the hard times that build our character, teach us important lessons and grow our faith. We can expect the same for our children, even as we ask God to shield them or rescue them from their struggles.

• Tell your children how you are praying for them, especially when you can show them how those prayers have been answered. For example, I have long prayed that hidden things will come to light, and that people who aren’t good for my girls will disappear from their lives.

God has answered both prayers in powerful ways, And while I sometimes keep this to myself, I also haven’t been shy about pointing it out to my daughters when it seems appropriate.

• Don’t give up. We’ve all heard stories about moms and dads who prayed for their kids for decades before seeing any tangible results. I watched this happen with my own parents, and—to a lesser degree—I’ve seen it happen in my own prayer life.

There’s no instant gratification when it comes to praying for our kids. We are grateful for answers when they come, but we’re in it for the long haul. So, to borrow some words from the Apostle Paul, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9 NIV)

• • •

If you have children, what is your approach to praying for them? How has this changed over the course of your parenting life?

• • •

No Post Here Next Week

Next week, I’ll send out my subscriber-only, email newsletter, Courage, Dear Heart, which replaces my third blog post of each month. If you haven’t signed up for the newsletter yet, I’d love for you to do so here:

Click Here to Subscribe

As my way of saying thanks, you’ll receive a free copy of my 7-day devotional, Faith, Fear, and the God Who Goes Before Us.

If you fill out the subscription form and don’t receive anything in your inbox, check your junk or spam folder for the confirmation email. And be sure to add the newsletter’s email address to your safe list so you don’t miss anything else.

♥ Lois

God knows what our children need to become who He designed them to be. Share on X There’s no instant gratification when it comes to praying for our kids. We are grateful for answers when they come, but we’re in it for the long haul. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with InstaEncouragements and Let’s Have Coffee.

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A Gardening Analogy that Will Calm Your Heart Today

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: Have you ever lived through a pruning season and wondered why it happened? I have, and here’s what it’s teaching me about God’s work in our lives. ~

A few weeks ago, I decided it was time to prune the impatiens that were overflowing the strawberry planter on my front porch.

It always pains me a bit to cut back lush foliage and lovely flowers anywhere in my yard. But these impatiens were starting to get in the way of the front door, and they desperately needed the haircut I gave them.

I’ve thought about pruning a lot this summer, the kind that occurs in my flowerbeds as well as in our lives. On a spiritual level, Jesus’s words in John 15:1-2 come to mind:

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. Every branch in me that does not produce fruit he removes, and he prunes every branch that produces fruit so that it will produce more fruit.”

Struggling to Understand

After my bike accident last year, I often felt like I had gone through a hard pruning. Through many months of recovery, it seemed as if significant parts of my life had been cut way back, and I struggled to understand why.

I still don’t have many answers, but my recent ponderings about pruning have settled my heart about this.

For starters, it occurred to me that plants don’t choose when they are pruned, or why. That’s up to the gardener to decide.

Why Pruning Happens

Pruning is necessary to remove dead wood, of course, but that’s not the only reason for it. Sometimes, plants—like the impatiens on my porch—simply grow too big and need to be trimmed back to fit their allotted space.

Pruning also is used to reshape plants or shrubs, as well as to make room for something else. For example, Randy recently rebuilt the gate to our backyard. When he took down the adjoining fence, I had to cut back a clematis growing on an attached trellis because it was right where he was working.

In any of these cases, the pruning can be severe. When done correctly, however, the plants are usually fuller and healthier when they grow back.

Spiritual Application

I’m an amateur gardener, at best. Even with help from YouTube, I don’t always know the best way to do this kind of task. I hope for the best and gain more confidence each time I wield my pruners.

God, on the other hand, is our sovereign Master Gardener. When He prunes His children—the branches abiding in the true Vine, according to John 15—He absolutely knows what the end result will be. Whether He is removing dead wood or pruning to produce more fruit, His purposes will be fulfilled.

In a spiritual sense, we might think of pruning as punishment. But lately, what I’ve come to understand more deeply is this: I’m not punishing my plants when I prune them; I’m helping them. I’m giving them a chance to thrive.

Divine Pruning

The same is true for God’s pruning work in our lives, whatever it looks like. It could be a form of discipline, lovingly carried out by a heavenly Father who knows what we need—or don’t need, as the case may be—to thrive. But the cutting back also could be necessary to prepare us for some future work assignment, ministry or relationship we can’t even imagine right now.

The truth is, we might not understand why pruning happens to us. It could be painful for a time—perhaps a very long time. And we don’t always know how everything will turn out.

But again, God knows.

And as Philippians 1:6 promises, when He begins a good work in us, He will “carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Let’s both remember that truth next time we feel the pressure of the divine pruning shears in our lives and hearts.

♥ Lois

I’m not punishing my plants when I prune them; I’m helping them. I’m giving them a chance to thrive. Share on X Whether God is removing dead wood from our lives or pruning us to produce more fruit, His purposes will be fulfilled. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with InstaEncouragements and Let’s Have Coffee.

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