A Marriage Analogy That Holds Up Well Over Time

Inside: There’s no end to the figurative language people use to describe marriage. But as we get ready to celebrate 32 years together, my husband’s metaphor is my favorite. ~

On March 26, Randy and I will celebrate our 32^nd anniversary.

The accident that impacted so much of my life during the last year happened on March 25, 2025. I have no memory of that day or the day we passed the 31-year mark. We didn’t even exchange the cards and gifts we’d purchased for each other until I came home from the hospital weeks later.

On our wedding day in 1994, we promised to love and cherish each other in sickness and in health. Over the years, Randy has kept that vow exceptionally well.

And in the months that followed my accident, how he responded to something I never dreamed would happen was exactly how I would have imagined him to be, had I imagined it.

He was faithful and true, one often-stressful day at a time. And I’m so thankful for him.

I don’t write much about marriage. But in 2015, a few days before our 21^st anniversary, I tapped out a few thoughts about married life.

Turns out, what I wrote 11 years ago is still relevant today. Here’s an updated excerpt.

An Analogy

There’s no end to the figurative language people use to describe marriage. A quick internet search reveals that, depending on how you look at it, marriage is akin to: a journey, a roller-coaster ride, maintaining a house, a car without a warranty (which requires both partners to do most of the work themselves), a triangle or growing a temperamental plant.

Randy thought of another analogy that I like much better (and not just because it involves the only grade-school field day event I was ever good at).

At this stage of our lives, marriage is like a three-legged race. When everything is in sync and working properly, it’s like a smoothly operating machine. But the rhythm that sometimes looks so effortless can get out of whack quickly, especially when there are significant differences in height and speed between the partners.

It’s easy to trip and fall, to get tangled up. It takes effort to get upright and find that perfect pace again.

And as much as you’d like it to be, the effort isn’t always equal. Sometimes, one half struggles so much that the other has to hoist her up somehow and carry her for a while. (This was definitely the case in our marriage last year. Even when I wasn’t aware of it, Randy was carrying me—gently and patiently.)

Common Factors

So what does it take for a three-legged race (and marriage) partnership to work? I’ve narrowed it down to four common factors: 1. Connection material that is secure and stable. 2. A commitment to stick together, no matter what. 3. Always going in the same direction. 4. A sense of humor.

Randy is seven inches taller than me. Our personalities, though similar in some ways, are also quite opposite. We have different ways of processing, different ways of handling stress, different ways of expressing emotion, different ways of getting things done.

And yet, after 32 years, we’re still connected. We still fit. We’re still in this together.

I’ve said it before but it bears repeating. I’m so grateful.

Let the race continue.

• • •

Is there an analogy or metaphor that comes to mind when you think of marriage? Please share in the comments.

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.