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Lois Flowers

Lois Flowers

If Your Heart Longs for Spring

by Lois Flowers March 5, 2019
by Lois Flowers

Forget lions and lambs. March is coming in like a polar bear here in my neck of the Midwest.

On Sunday, church was cancelled because of the snow. A day later—16 days until the official start of spring—the temperature app on my phone said it was 0 degrees outside.

My daughters had another “inclement-weather” day off last Wednesday—bringing them up to six for the school year. That same evening, my dad was hospitalized for pneumonia—his third stay at the local medical center in three months. He was released today, but it was touch-and-go there for a while.

I’m so thankful for answered prayers and the peace of God that transcends understanding—without these, I would have been a complete mess last week.

With all the weather closings and hospital visits—plus the fact that Randy and I are doing the Whole30 again and have gone without dairy products, grains and added sugar for four weeks—I haven’t had much time or creative energy to write lately.

Yesterday, though, I read some verses that refer directly to God’s control over the weather, and I thought it fitting to share them here:

“He sends his command to the earth; his word runs swiftly. He spreads the snow like wool and scatters the frost like ashes. He hurls down his hail like pebbles. Who can withstand his icy blast? He sends his word and melts them; he stirs up his breezes, and the waters flow.” (Psalm 147:15-18, NIV)

Even as we’re bracing ourselves against the latest effects of the Polar Vortex or longing for relief from seasonal affective disorder, it might help to remember that the many winter weather events we’ve had this year—like all of life—have come at God’s direction.

Will this alleviate our desire for spring to come? Probably not, but maybe it will encourage our hearts to know that the sovereign Lord who controls the heavenly snow machine and the celestial thermostat is the same Savior who cares when we’re hurting and is strong enough to help us through any struggle.

As the psalmist puts it, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.” (Psalm 147:3-5, NIV)

Friends, let’s rest in that, even as we pray for God to stir up the spring breezes and melt away every last trace of winter.

♥ Lois

Like all of life, the many winter weather events we’ve had this year have come at God’s direction. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Purposeful Faith, #TellHisStory, Let’s Have Coffee, Faith on Fire, Faith ‘n Friends and Grace & Truth.

March 5, 2019 16 comments
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What I Learned This Winter

by Lois Flowers February 26, 2019
by Lois Flowers

If you’ve been tracking with me for a while, you may have noticed that my writing has taken on a bit of a heavier tone lately. That’s not part of some new blogging strategy; it’s just life spilling out onto the “pages” of this blog.

I go back and forth about whether or not this is a good thing, but I always come back to the belief that I’m not the only one—and that others in the midst of difficult seasons might find a bit of encouragement in knowing that they are not the only one.

That said, I’ve been looking forward to sharing some lighter fare as I join with Emily Freeman and others in recounting what I’ve learned this winter. Such as:

• Candles in the fireplace are my new favorite coziness enhancer. We can’t use our gas fireplace because the flue is cracked and we don’t want to spend the thousands of dollars needed to repair it. With candles—three wicks in a single jar or an odd assortment of pillars—we can still enjoy the ambiance of flickering flames in our living room. They don’t put out much heat, but they do make everything feel cozier on a snowy winter day.

• I don’t need to fill out an online quiz to determine whether I have too much on my mind. My daily life pretty much lets me know. Like when I set the timer on the microwave and forget to push “start.” Or when I type a text and fail to hit “send.” Or when I frantically search around my kitchen trying to find the egg I got out for breakfast, only to look down and discover it was in my hand the whole time.

• It is possible to keep bananas from ripening too fast. I don’t spend much time looking up housekeeping hacks, but this one—from a video Ann Voskamp shared in her weekly collection of “Good Stuff”—really works. All you have to do is take a bunch of greenish bananas, wrap one of those bags from the produce department around the stems a few times and put it back on your kitchen counter. The bananas still ripen, but much more slowly than they would without the bag.

• Some of the best quotes come from novels. Like this one, from Kate Morton’s latest book, The Clockmaker’s Daughter:

“Parents and children. The simplest relationship in the world and yet the most complex. One generation passes to the next a suitcase filled with jumbled jigsaw pieces from countless puzzles collected over time and says, ‘See what you can make out of these.’ ”

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been spending a lot of time at the family puzzle table lately. And I know one thing for sure. It’s tough to place the pieces in the right positions when you don’t know what the end result is supposed to look like.

• You can polish brass with ketchup and salt. I never would have known this were it not for my Pinterest-loving daughter, who recently spent two hours sprucing up a very dingy kettle that used to sit atop one of my kitchen cabinets. If you want to try it out yourself, just spread ketchup on the brass you want to clean, sprinkle it with salt, wait for a few minutes and then scrub it off with a microfiber towel. (Of course, you might want to test it on a small area before you slather ketchup everywhere, just to be on the safe side.)

• Music evokes emotion in me at random times and in random places. Like when I’m at a district honor choir concert and a massive group of talented teenagers starts singing about angels coming after me all night and all day. (I really need to start keeping tissues in my purse.)

• • •

That’s it for me, at least for now. So what have you learned this winter? Please share in the comments, along with any favorite quotes or helpful housekeeping hacks that you can’t bear to keep to yourself any longer.

♥ Lois

I don’t need to fill out an online quiz to determine whether I have too much on my mind. Share on X It's tough to place the puzzle pieces in the right positions when you don't know what the end result is supposed to look like. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Purposeful Faith, #TellHisStory, Let’s Have Coffee, Emily Freeman, Faith on Fire, Faith ‘n Friends and Grace & Truth.

February 26, 2019 24 comments
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When You’re Responsible but not in Control

by Lois Flowers February 19, 2019
by Lois Flowers

My church is doing a sermon series on Daniel, the Old Testament book that is centered squarely on the theme of God’s sovereignty.

I sit in the service next to my 17-year-old daughter, a junior at a large public high school, and the current cultural relevance of this powerful portion of scripture practically hits me over the top of the head every Sunday.

Continue Reading
February 19, 2019 18 comments
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Living with a Heart That’s Slowly Breaking

by Lois Flowers February 12, 2019
by Lois Flowers

How do you live with your one broken heart?

The question Ann Voskamp asks in The Broken Way has come to mind frequently these past few months as I’ve tried to adjust to some sad new realities in my parents’ lives. And then there’s a variation on this theme that hits even closer to home: how do I live with my one breaking heart?

My world hasn’t been shattered by a sudden tragedy, a devastating betrayal or a long trial that finally ended with a crushing loss. But day after day, little by little, a specific section of my heart is slowly breaking. Every time I see my parents, every time I get a phone call from their nursing home, every time I get another question about how they are, the tiny cracks spread just a bit more.

It’s hard to describe, this thing that’s happening. My heart is still whole—I feel that too—and yet it’s breaking. It’s a paradox, a conundrum, a contradiction.

The irony of it all is that in some ways, my heart—and by that I mean my ability to empathize and care and feel—might be as healthy as it’s ever been. Which, somehow, makes the ache of this gradual breaking even more poignant.

I’m naturally bent in a logical direction, so I find it hard to understand all this. However it works, though, the truth remains—I can’t stop living with my one breaking heart.

I can’t make the situations and circumstances that are causing the breakage go away. I can’t reverse them or solve them or fix them. Nobody can.

I thought about listing some scenarios that might cause other people to feel this same way, but if it applies to you, I have a feeling you don’t need my help in figuring that out. You may not have framed it in this way in your mind, but it hit you when you read it—you need to know how you’re going to live with your one broken heart too.

I’d love to give us all a three-point list, a surefire strategy, a one-size-fits-most way to accomplish this daunting task. But the truth is, all I can offer at this point are these few tips that might help today.

• Acknowledge what is happening. Don’t deny it, try to explain it or get overly angry about it. Your heart is slowly breaking. That’s where you are right now.

• Don’t constantly try to patch or repair the cracks in your heart. Only God, over time, can handle this restoration project. He will—I firmly believe this—but in His timing, using His people and His methods.

• Pray. When your emotions start to overwhelm you, bring every last care and concern to the “Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

• Try to enjoy the other parts of your life. This is easier said than done, and yet, it must be done. Especially if you have people around who need you to be present for events and seasons that are separate from the situation that is breaking your heart.

• Be thankful. Whether you’re immersed in the hard 24/7 or your awareness of your breaking heart comes and goes, make it a habit of noticing the smallest things that bring you joy and thank God for them, right then and there.

• Reach out to others. I’m not talking about starting up a new ministry or getting involved in some new program. Wherever you go (especially in waiting rooms of various kinds), you’re bound to run across people who are hurting, lonely or flat-out exhausted. Look them in the eye and ask them about the quote on their T-shirt or the sports team emblem on their hat. Just start a conversation.

Like I hope we’ve just done here.

• • • 

It often helps to hear from fellow travelers who are just a bit further down the path. If you’ve found other ways to live with your one breaking heart (or your one broken heart, for that matter), please feel free to share them in the comments.

♥ Lois

This post is part of a collection called Help for Parent Loss. To read more, please click here.

Don’t constantly try to patch or repair the breaks and tears in your heart. Only God, over time, can handle this restoration project. Share on X
February 12, 2019 33 comments
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2 Simple Habits that Make All the Difference

by Lois Flowers February 5, 2019
by Lois Flowers

The infrastructure of my world has shifted significantly these last couple of months.

At home, things are good. At least, as good as they can be when two teenage daughters are living with two middle-aged parents in a world full of cynicism and pain and unanswerable questions. We each have our days and our issues, but overall, I am very thankful for these three who are closest to me.

Just a bit further out, though, a support system that I’ve relied on my entire life is irrevocably changed. Now I find that I am the primary support system, and there are days when my pillars are shaky at best.

I’m not complaining. It’s a blessed privilege to be in a position—geographically and otherwise—to be able to assist two people who have loved me, prayed for me and helped me in countless ways for the past 48 years.

But when circumstances change suddenly in ways that nobody could have ever predicted, it takes a while to adjust. It takes a while to process, to grieve, to come to grips with the new normal—every time it changes.

It helps, I’m learning, if you have a foundation in place that can withstand the tremors and aftershocks that come from every which direction. Of course, you never know when you’re going to need that protection, and if you haven’t shored up your foundation before the earthquakes hit, it makes the struggle all the harder.

Not impossible, mind you. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: God will use every single thing He allows to touch His children’s lives for our good and His glory. And it’s not a huge stretch to think that He might use an earthquake as the means to shore up our foundation in way that prepares us for a future hurricane.

I’ve seen that happen in my own life; perhaps you have too.

Then there are times when you implement some relatively minor thing in your life, only to look back months or years later and realize that this one little routine had changed everything for you.

I can think of two such things right now—my near-daily habit of praying for the fruit of the Spirit to grow in my heart (which I began when I chose fruit as my One Word for 2015), and my practice of writing down the names of God as I read through the Bible (which I commenced two years later in an effort to stay focused when I got to the Book of Revelation).

I didn’t begin doing these things with any expectation that some day, they would help me out in a crisis. It was mostly because I’m an easily distracted creature of habit who also likes lists.

Today, I’m still doing both. And as I think about the difference it’s made, all I can say is that this is yet another instance of how God goes before us and prepares us for what only He knows is coming next.

It’s hard to quantify this in a tangible way. When it comes to evidence of the fruit of the Spirit in my life, for example, I have my good days and my not-so-good days.

There are times when I don’t look or act especially peaceful. Especially in the heat of the moment, the stress often gets to me. Petty things bother me and I’m pretty sure my lack of patience is evident to everyone around me.

But even on those days that prompt my children to leave a plate of homemade goodies on the kitchen island with a note that says, “We baked some ‘I’m-sorry-you’re-super-busy-running-two-households-and-are-super-stressed cookies,” I know the root system of the divine fruit tree is much denser than it once was.

I’m stretching at the seams, but—so far, anyway—I’m not falling apart.

As for the names of God having an impact, I can’t even tell you how this works.

At some subconscious level, His attributes are there. Bits and pieces of His character come to mind during the day when I’m vacuuming the living room floor. They surround me at night when I can’t sleep. They roll around in my head when I’m driving to my parents’ nursing home, often not knowing what I’m going to find when I arrive.

God is my Rock, my strength, my salvation. My portion, my song, my light. My shelter and my shield, my refuge and my fortress, my help and my deliverer. My King, my Father, my Savior.

Somehow, by recording who God is and has always been, His personal and powerful presence has become more real to me. I don’t know how else to explain it.

The result? Peace, when that’s the last thing I should be experiencing. Strength when I’m too tired to take another step. Courage to push open doors when I’m afraid of what I’m about to see.

Praying for the fruit of the Spirit and writing down God’s attributes are such simple activities. They almost seem rote, and perhaps they are. But if you’re looking for ways to shore up the foundation of your heart for the storms that are sure to come, I’d encourage you to give them a try.

The prayer thing is easy. You can do it as you brush your teeth, or as you’re putting on your shoes or waiting for your coffee to brew. If you do it at the same time every day, it will quickly become a habit.

If writing down the names of God appeals to you, it doesn’t have to be complicated or overly structured. You can use an official Bible reading plan, you can start wherever you are in your current devotional book or Bible study, or you can keep a list on your phone based on daily scriptures from your favorite Bible app.

Whenever God is described in some way, jot it down. Do it again tomorrow and the next day and the next. Let the truth of who God is infiltrate your mind and your heart, name by name.

Take it from me. Over time, it will make a difference.

• • •

Have you ever made a little change in your life that turned out to be a huge difference maker later? If so, please share in the comments …

♥ Lois

There are times when you implement some relatively minor thing in your life, only to look back later and realize that this one little routine had changed everything for you. Share on X Whenever God is described in some way, jot it down. Let the truth of who He is infiltrate your mind and your heart, name by name. Share on X
February 5, 2019 24 comments
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Encouragement for a Hard Season

by Lois Flowers January 22, 2019
by Lois Flowers

The other day I was reminded of a long-ago season of waiting, sadness and disappointment.

I don’t think about those years much anymore. Back then, though, the struggle I was engaged in affected significant aspects of my life and was never far from my mind.

Perhaps you’ve been there. Perhaps, like me, you find yourself there again.

My challenge is different this time, of course. It’s not nearly as personal or intimate, and yet it’s far more emotionally taxing, if that makes any sense at all.

There are things I tell myself when the going gets especially rough. I’ve mined these bits of truth from scripture, from the rearview mirror of my own life, from watching dear ones walk through trials far greater than any I’ve ever endured.

And as I share these thoughts with you today, know that I need to hear them too.

• You will not always feel how you feel today.

• It may seem like you are the only one who has ever been where you are right now, but you’re not.

• Somehow, you will get used to your new normal.

• You will find a way to live with what Ann Voskamp calls “your one broken heart.”

• Your current struggle will not always be the last thing on your mind when you go to bed and the first thing you think about when you wake up.

• When you come out on the other side, you will be changed. Don’t try to predict it; just expect it.

• The longer you live, the more times this process will repeat itself in your life.

• God will work out what you are going through for your good and His glory.

Day by day—whatever you do and however you feel—hold fast to God and His Word. Seek out His promises. Trust in His never-ending faithfulness.

Remember: He who has begun a good work in you will complete it. He will fulfill His purpose for you. He will not abandon the work of His hands.

He is with you. He is for you. He goes before you.

Always.

Rest in these truths, my friend. I’m resting right along with you.

♥ Lois

God will work out what you are going through for your good and His glory. Share on X
January 22, 2019 22 comments
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As long as we’re here on planet Earth, God has a good purpose for us. This is true no matter how old we are, what we feel on any given day or what we imagine anyone else thinks about us. It can be a struggle, though, to believe this and live like it. It requires divine strength and eternal hope. And so I write, one pilgrim to another, in an effort to encourage us both as we navigate the long walk home together.

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