What To Do When No One Notices

As embarrassed as I am to admit it, the Golden Rule sometimes frustrates me. Sometimes, I wish it were one of those sayings people think is in the Bible but really isn’t—like, “God helps those who help themselves.”

Farm flower

Unfortunately for me (at least in those less-than-stellar moments), it is part of the Holy Writ—showing up in bright red letters in Matthew 7:12: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.”

The concept of treating others how we would like to be treated is one I often refer to in conversations with my daughters. Whether the situation involves kids at school, each other or some stranger on The Voice, “How would you feel if someone did that to you (or said that about you)?” is a question worth considering, especially at this particularly me-focused stage of their lives.

But when it comes to my own reactions to perceived slights, I’m inclined to bypass the Golden Rule and proceed straight to feeling sorry for myself. When something I’ve said or done—my presence when I’m not normally there, my absence when I normally am, a fresh haircut, a new blouse, a sad countenance, the clean bathroom, how much effort I’ve put into something, the delicious supper—is overlooked or not mentioned, I’m tempted to get hurt feelings.

On rare occasions, the affront is intentional. Most often, though, it’s not.

People are busy. They don’t always notice everything that is important to me. They may notice and forget to mention it. There could be any number of reasons.

In these cases, I need to remember how much I love these people and give them the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes, I need to get over myself and stop being petty. Sometimes, a reminder that the world doesn’t revolve around me is in order.

But always, I need to look for opportunities to do for others what I wish someone would do for me, and then do it.

It’s counter-intuitive, I know. But it’s the only way I know of to take the focus off of myself and carry on about the business of living in a way that honors God.

I won’t ask for a show of hands, but I wonder if you might be able to relate to what I’m saying in some tiny way. If so, can I just pass on a version of what I shared with myself not so long ago?

If you are an encourager who needs some encouragement, keep encouraging.

If you are a helper who could use a little assistance, keep helping.

If you are a prayer warrior who needs prayer, keep praying.

If you are a cook in need of some nourishment, keep cooking.

If you are a giver who could use a present yourself, keep giving.

If you are a card sender who wishes someone would mail you a note, keep sending those cards.

If you are a listener who wants someone to hear you, keep listening.

Just keep doing the things God has designed you to do, even when they seem small to you, even when it seems like nobody is noticing, even when you desperately wish someone would return the favor.

Farm flower 2

Don’t ever believe the lie that what you’re doing doesn’t matter, that nobody would miss it if you stopped.

Because you are making a difference.

And God sees it, even if you can’t.

Lois Flowers

P.S. I’m linking up today with Holley Gerth at Coffee for Your Heart, Jennifer Dukes Lee at #TellHisStory and Kelly Balarie at Purposeful Faith.

34 Responses to What To Do When No One Notices

  1. This is inspired, Lois. A call to never give up, to know we are always valuable, and then should just live that way… pouring a little love out on everyone around us and knowing what a gift that alone can be.
    He gave of Himself, withholding nothing, so we could do the same!

    • Lois Flowers says:

      Thank you so much, Christine. What you say is so true … He died so that we can have life, and now we have the opportunity to die to ourselves so that other people can experience a more full life. Blessings to you today!

  2. Kristi says:

    Beautiful encouragement, Lois. Your authenticity shines through as well. Visiting via the sidebar note at #tellHisstory.

  3. Veronica says:

    Hi Lois,
    What an encouraging post and a good reminder that there are no small things in God’s eyes and there are many ways I can make a difference in the lives of others. Thank you for your words today!

    • Lois Flowers says:

      Exactly, Veronica! And isn’t it wonderful that things that might almost seem trivial to us can bring such joy and encouragement to someone else? Thanks for your kind words today!

  4. Lois,
    What a good word…to keep making a difference because God notices and it helps us to learn to serve from a place of freely giving without expecting…Thank you 🙂 Praying your weekend is restful and joyful 🙂

  5. So true! We begin to believe that our small actions don’t matter when they truly do make a difference!
    I know I need this reminder sometimes.

  6. Christi says:

    Well! You have certainly put feet to these words as you stopped by my place the last couple of days. You have been such an encourager to me over there, so I’m not surprised to find your writing things like this over here!

    I’m enjoying getting to know you little word by little word. Count me among the ones who notice!

    Embracing the Journey,

  7. Such a great an encouraging post! Thanks for sharing. 🙂 Blessings to you today! – Tasha

  8. Emily says:

    Yes, it matters! We never know what small little things we do (a quick hug, a listening ear, a meal) make an impact. And doing the things you listed are a great way to serve and show the love of our Savior.

    ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:40

    • Lois Flowers says:

      Thanks for sharing the verse, Emily. It fits here so well. I must also say that I love the name and motivation behind YOUR blog. I, too, enjoy the early morning hours and have much better days when I keep to that kind of schedule. Nice to meet you today!

  9. Lois, Thank you for affirming the message God has laid directly on my heart. To receive, you must give. We came here to serve, not be served.

    • Lois Flowers says:

      Samantha, I’m happy you found affirmation here for what God is showing you. Through the words of each new comment, He affirms the message to me as well, and for that I am grateful. Blessings to you today!

  10. sandraj says:

    Lois, I so love and appreciate, even notice, this great post and wisdom! “Just keep doing the things God has designed you to do, even when they seem small to you”. Glad I stopped by.

  11. Mary Geisen says:

    A big “YES” to the lesson I am learning here today! Sometimes I just wish someone else would take the initiative and bless me instead of being the one to do it first. However, the truth is to keep at it and we will be blessed. So glad to be visiting you from TellHisStory.

  12. Great words! That is so right Lois. The small things that we take for granted could be just huge to others. Love this insight. I also love your opening. Awesome! Great word today. Cheering on your truth today from the #RaRalinkup on Purposeful Faith.

    • Lois Flowers says:

      We just never know, do we? When we use our God-given gifts to bless others, our effort is never wasted and often multiplied! Thanks for your encouragement, Kelly!

  13. Lois, I often feel slighted myself in circumstances you mention. What good encouragement you give here! I have several people I’ve been wanting to send a facebook message to the past few days, and I haven’t made time. I’m going to do it now! Thank you! This is so important.

    • Lois Flowers says:

      Betsy, it’s good to know I’m not alone in this. 🙂 I’m sure the people you encourage on Facebook will appreciate that you took the time to write them, just as I am!

  14. I’m with you, Lois … I am hearing you well, too.

    Much needed encouragement here this morning. And I thank you!

    Have a good one …

  15. Candace says:

    I had such a hard time with this when I became a stay at home mom almost 15 years ago. I was in a professional job and received a lot of encouragement at work. Once I left to be home with my children, I didn’t receive those performance reviews, positive feedback, etc. Kids don’t ever say, “You did a great job parenting today, Mom.” Luckily, my husband is a gifted encourager and kept me going. It’s been in more recent years that I’ve finally found true peace in “And God sees it, even if you can’t.”

    • Lois Flowers says:

      I’m so glad your husband’s encouragement kept you going when the outside kudos stopped coming, Candace. Mine also has that gift, and it is a big blessing! 🙂

  16. Thank you for this beautiful reminder that the Golden Rule applies even when things aren’t going my way!

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