Inside: God doesn’t need our help to run the universe or work in our loved ones’ lives, but He still wants us to bring our cares and concerns to Him in prayer. ~
Last week, I shared a guest post on my friend Jeanne Takenaka’s blog about one of my favorite spiritual activities: praying for my children.
When you write about prayer, it’s a good idea to do so with a good deal of humility. I mean, I’ve only been a mom for 21 years, so I’m far from an expert on the topic. There are many mothers out there who have been praying for their children much longer than I have, and I have much to learn from them—online and especially in person.
I also pray for people who are not my daughters, of course. I’m nowhere near an authority on praying for them either. I recognize this, quite acutely at times.
Nighttime Epiphany
Not long after my guest post was published, I was praying for someone in the middle of the night when sleep was elusive. I was telling God what this person needed, what I would like for them to experience, that sort of thing.
As I went on, I was suddenly stopped by the thought that I was telling God what to do—what needed to be done, in fact—as if He didn’t already know. As if He would hear my prayer and get new information that would cause Him to act differently in this person’s life.
Ludicrous, I know.
If God needs my help and suggestions to run any part of the universe, He’s not sovereign. And if He’s not sovereign, there’s real no point in praying, right?
But Wait …
The thing is, I believe God is sovereign and that His will is perfect. I believe the Apostle Paul when he says “all things work together for the good of those who love God.” (Romans 8:28) I don’t know how this works in real life, but I do believe it.
I also believe the Bible when it says, “The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” (James 5:16) So what actually transpires when we pray?
Is the purpose of prayer to tell God what to do, or to relinquish our cares and concerns to Him?
Is it to explain—in great detail—the outcomes we’d like to see, or to praise Him for who He is and what He is capable of doing, whether or not He chooses to do it now?
A Few Thoughts
I realize entire libraries of books have been written about prayer over the centuries, so let me just say this.
God knows our loved ones better than we do. Unlike us, He loves them unconditionally.
If they are believers, He is working in their lives and will continue to do so their entire lives. We can trust Him to work in their hearts, and also in ours.
We never know the complete story about anyone, even those to whom we are closest. Our job is not to be the Holy Spirit to them or serve as a consultant to God about them. Rather, it’s to pray for their salvation, their deliverance, their protection, their future.
Casting Our Cares
The scriptures talk about casting our every care on Him. (1 Peter 5:7) It’s OK to share specific thoughts with God—as long as we remember the results are out of our control and that God often works in ways that look nothing like what we might imagine or desire.
At the same time, we don’t have to fear praying the wrong thing for our loved ones, because if we ask God for something that doesn’t fit into His will for them, we can trust that His plan will prevail.
That’s why it’s often helpful to close out our prayers with some variation of, “Thy will be done.”
What If We Still Don’t Know?
But how should we pray if we honestly don’t know what to pray for? I don’t know all the answers to that question, but I can give you a suggestion my sister recently shared with me: to focus on Elohim, or God as Creator, in our prayers.
In her book Praying the Names of God, author Ann Spangler writes, “This ancient name for God contains the idea of God’s creative power as well as his authority and sovereignty.”
From the foundation of the world in Genesis to the future day described in the Book of Revelation when He wipes every tear from every eye, Elohim is always doing a new thing. As Mighty Creator, this is what He does.
And it’s not just on a grand scale, although He certainly works in that way. As my sister pointed out to me, “The creative aspect of God’s character extends to every single detail of our lives.”
So when we find that we don’t know what to pray for ourselves or our loved ones, we can pray this: that God will do a new thing in our lives. Even in the situations that seem hopeless to us—a relationship, a deep grief, a need for provision, a troublesome emotion or an illness.
He knows what that new thing should be, and also how to achieve it. We can rest in that, no matter what.
♥ Lois
We never know the complete story about anyone, even those to whom we are closest. Our job is not to be the Holy Spirit to them or serve as a consultant to God about them. Click To Tweet We don’t have to fear praying the wrong thing for our loved ones, because if we ask God for something that doesn’t fit into His will for them, we can trust that His plan will prevail. Click To TweetP.S. I’m linking up this week with Inspire Me Monday, #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.
26 comments
Your post has good insights into prayer! I am reminded of this verse: Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26
Such a comforting truth, Carol. Thanks for sharing this verse. 🙂
Beautifully said, Lois. Thank goodness we have the Holy Spirit to direct our prayers and pray for us when we don’t have the words.
Amen to that, Suzette! Thanks for your kind words, friend.
Oh, my. I needed to read this this morning. Thank you, Lois!
I’m glad it was helpful for you, Ashley. 🙂
Wow, Lois. You sure spoke to the heart of the matter today. I’ve got to tell you that you answered some questions I have thought often about prayer.
Visiting today from Joanne’s
I’m glad you found some answers here, Paula. Hugs to you, friend.
This is such good advice. Thank you, Lois! Tucking this away in my heart!
You’re welcome, Bethany. 🙂
Lois, such good thoughts here. I think God is more interested in our heart attitude than our words. We certainly need to guard against a pompous attitude of dictating outcomes to God within our prayers for others and ourselves. But I can’t help thinking as a loving heavenly Father, how much He delights to hear our earnest prayers for others, whether that includes our “desired outcomes” or not. I believe He delights to hear our heartfelt desires for loved ones. There is nothing wrong with praying prayers which request desired outcomes, as long as our ultimate heart’s desire is to gently place it all in our father’s loving, sovereign hands.
I love the perspective you’ve shared here, Donna. I think you’re right .. “God is more interested in our heart attitude than our words.” And what a blessing to remember that we are praying to the One who holds the whole world in those “loving, sovereign hands.”
Lois, you had me at your intro – ‘God doesn’t need our help to run the universe or work in our loved ones’ lives, but He still wants us to bring our cares and concerns to Him in prayer.’
He longs for us to linger in His company, to enjoy His presence, to be quietly reflective. I’m learning to leave my laundry list at home. He already knows what needs to happen. I’m so grateful.
Ah, Linda … I need to learn to “leave my laundry list at home” too. 🙂
Thank you for sharing so honestly, Lois. Such needful encouragements. I love the reminder of closing with “Thy will be done.” Love and blessings to you!
I find it so helpful to do that, Trudy. Such a good step, especially when I’m struggling to hold my desires loosely. Love and hugs to you too!
It is amazing how we can come up with so many suggestions for how God should work, or move, or change a situation. Years ago, in the midst of praying for a particular situation for a few years, I was humbled when listening to a radio broadcast by these words: “This is God’s universe, and God does things his way. You may have a better way, but you don’t have a universe.” (Dr. Vernon McGee) To this day, I have not forgotten those words. I still hear his voice when I think of the quote 🙂
Aw, Joanne … I love that quote and reminder that God is in charge, not us. We used to listen to Dr. Vernon McGee too … what a good voice to have in your head! 🙂
I have also found myself suggesting to God various ways He might work out the answer to a request, as if He needs my ideas. 🙂 I’m aware, too, that some trial I’m praying against might be the very thing God wants to use to conform them to Himself, to draw them closer, to encourage them to rely on Him more. I try to remember that those are the more important underlying issues rather than having a need met or a disappointment averted. Praying for His will to be done above all and knowing He loves them and wants their good even more than I do helps immensely.
As Michele said, I like to pray certain Scriptures for my kids as well, particularity Philippians 1:9-11, Colossians 1:9-12, and Ephesians 1:15-20. One of my favorites is Ephesians 3:14-19. It’s interesting that the verse about God doing more than we could ask or think comes after this particular prayer.
Thank you so much for sharing the passages you like to pray for your kids, Barbara. They’re all filled with so much truth and goodness. And I never noticed how that detail about God doing more than we could ask follows these verses: “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Wow!
I remember “overhearing “ myself one day, praying for my kids as if I were a prosperity gospel Christian. For a long time after that I prayed only scripture words for people as a kind of reset button for my soul. It’s so wonderful to know that the Holy Spirit “fixes our prayers on the way up!”
Oh dear, Michele … I’m sure I’ve prayed that way too, more times than I care to admit. Praying words from scripture is so helpful … “not my will but yours” is at the top of my list in that department!
Thank you for sharing this and for your humility to state that you still have more to learn. Thank you for your beautiful, truthful and encouraging post on prayer. I’m a little further down the road with grown children and now grands. I have learned such humbling and necessary attributes of prayer in many years, and still have so much more to learn. I hope I never forget the time God quietly asked if I had any more ideas about what He should be doing? I said No. And I began that day to pray “God come and do what only You can do for Your glory.” It’s been a trust issue for me. I’m learning to trust He knows and loves best.
Oh my goodness, Lisa … God’s quiet questions just cut to the quick, don’t they? I love the prayer you began praying after that conversation: “God, come and do what only you can do for your glory.” Amen and amen! It’s such an encouragement to hear from moms who are, as you say, a little further down the road. The praying never stops, does it? 🙂
Yes, Lois, amen! I relate to this so much, the tension between being specific and persistent in our prayers, like the persistent widow, and then realizing I’m kind of “telling God what to do,” which is ludicrous! I try to remember to sometimes just hold those I’m praying for before the Lord in my heart. He knows exactly what they need. Also, I remember that Jesus AND the Holy Spirit intercede for us, and they know exactly what and how to pray.
Oh, Lisa … I’m so glad you mentioned how Jesus and the Holy Spirit intercede for us–such a comforting truth to remember! I love the idea of holding our loved ones before the Lord in our hearts. You’re right–“He knows exactly what they need.”