Inside: Remember this if you find yourself running out of patience or unable to wait another second. ~

When you’ve been waiting for something for a long time, do you ever reach a point where you don’t think you can wait one more second?

I felt this way near the end of our wait to adopt our older daughter Lilly. We had already experienced three years of infertility, followed by about 20 months of waiting for our international adoption to be completed.

We knew some people who had sent their paperwork to China around the same time we had sent ours, and we were all expecting to receive referrals for our babies near the end of July.

Running Out of Patience

I had done OK with the wait thus far—managing my expectations and holding fast to my belief that God was in control. But by the time that summer rolled around, I was tired. I was stressed and irritable and sick of the whole thing.

Then Randy’s grandmother died, and we went to North Dakota for the funeral. The whole time we were there, I kept waiting for the phone call saying we had gotten our referral.

It never came.

When we returned home and learned the other families had gotten theirs that month but we had not, I couldn’t take it anymore.

So Done

I just knew our papers were gathering dust on top of some filing cabinet, completely forgotten by everyone. I let loose in my prayer journal, basically having a fit on God about the whole situation.

In teenage-girl vernacular, I was so done.

It might sound counter-intuitive, but my little tirade actually calmed me down and brought me back to the conclusion that God was still in control. It helped reassure me that we would eventually get our baby, even though I remained convinced that it was taking far too long.

God Knows

The thing is, God made us, so He knows our physical weaknesses. He knows our limitations and our finite comprehension of what’s going on around us and in us.

He knew how I felt when we didn’t get our adoption referral that July and I started to despair that I would never become a mother. He knows how you feel when you don’t think you can take another minute of waiting for whatever it is you’re waiting for.

When we have respectful fits on God—our longsuffering and patient heavenly Father—I don’t think it frustrates Him like the tantrum of a child might frustrate a human parent. As Psalm 103:14 says, He “knows how we are formed and remembers that we are dust.”

He understands, in other words.

And in His grace and mercy, He has compassion on us when the waiting room gets to be almost more than we think we can stand.

Tell Him Everything

If you’re there now, don’t be afraid to tell God exactly how you feel. Dump out all your emotions on paper (or in Microsoft Word, if that works better for you). Let it all out in a prayer to Him, and see what happens.

If you’re anything like me, the worries, the fears, the bad feelings will eventually subside. Your spirit will settle down and your faith will grow stronger. 

And when you’re done, you’ll get up and do the very thing you said you couldn’t do—continue waiting.

• • •

Have you ever found yourself waiting for an answer or event that seemed like it would never come? How did you cope?

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.