Inside: Mothering lessons that bring gentle perspective to any season of parenting, from the terrible twos to the empty nest and beyond. ~

Throughout my mothering journey, I think I’ve learned more from fellow moms who are further down the parenting path than from any other source of wisdom besides the Bible.

Books and online articles are wonderful, and many were helpful when I was a younger mom. But as my girls moved through their teen years and the issues they encountered began to get heavier and more complex, conversations with friends who have adult children became a much greater source of encouragement.

We’ve Only Just Begun

I’ve loved being a mom all these years, and if what my more experienced friends tell me is any indication, the adventure is only beginning. It won’t look the same, of course. My presence and input in my daughters’ lives will change and vary as they grow into their adult lives.

Expectations of particular outcomes are best held loosely in every season of life, especially if they have to do with other people. But I’m hopeful my relationship with each of my girls will continue to be strong and as important to them as it is to me.

What I’ve Learned

When I think about what I’ve learned during my first two decades of motherhood, a few words of encouragement for other moms come to mind. I originally shared most of these in 2015, but they are as relevant now—for moms of any age and season of parenting—as they were back then.

1. “You’re doing a good job.”

My heart craved affirmation like this when I was newer at parenting, especially from the important women in my life. I felt so inadequate, so unprepared, so unsure of my ability to train up my little girls in the ways they should go. (Who am I kidding? I still feel this way quite often.) That’s why, whenever possible, I want other moms to hear this bit of encouragement from me.

2. “It’s not all up to you.”

You are not the ultimate authority in your child’s life; God is. Your job is to get to know your children as well as you can and make decisions based on that knowledge and the timeless truths of scripture. And remember—in God’s eyes, their story doesn’t end when they turn 18 or 21 or even 35. In fact, it might be just beginning.

3. “Don’t believe anyone else’s opinion about the worst of times.”

I know. There’s a reason those early years often are called the “terrible twos,” “terrifying threes” or “horrible fours.” There’s a reason people shudder and roll their eyes when the topic of raising teenagers, pre-teen daughters or strong-willed children comes up.

But every kid is different. Don’t automatically assume that your child is going to fit whatever stereotype people want to pin on her, at any stage of her life. Don’t expect that the next phase is going to be all sunshine and roses, but don’t expect the worst either. Take what comes, do your best and refer often to No. 2. 4. Savor the sweet and don’t fear what might come next.

If you find yourself in a season where everything seems to be going well with your family, acknowledge it. Enjoy it. Be thankful for it.

Don’t expect it to last forever, however. You never know when or where the next storm is going to hit, but you count on it coming sooner or later. You can also can rest assured that God will be there before you and will help you and your children through it.

5. “Educate yourself. But when in doubt, go with your gut.”

When the therapists, teachers or dental hygienists tell you one thing and your heart tells you another, you’re not obligated to do what they say—now or ever. This is more important in today’s culture than ever before, I think.

6. “Apologize often.”

When you’ve overreacted and everyone knows it. When you’ve raised your voice unnecessarily one too many times. When it’s your tone that needs correcting, not theirs.

Kids are forgiving, but it’s often up to the adults in their lives to give them that opportunity. And trust me on this one. You never know the difference your apology today might make in their lives when they are much older.

7. “Pray like your children’s lives depend on it.”

Because they do. When they’re living at home and especially when they are out on their own.

• • •

If you’re a mom or stepmom, what is the most significant bit of encouragement you’ve ever received about your parenting? Whether you’re a mom or not, I’d love to know what your mother or other special woman in your life did well that still impacts your life today.

Finally, if you are a mom of daughters or a daughter with a mother, you may find these posts timely or helpful.

• A Hope-filled Note for Moms of Girls

• Hope for Moms and Daughters in Every Season

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Recharge Wednesday, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.