Lois Flowers
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    Hope for the Heavy Seasons

    by Lois Flowers September 27, 2016
    by Lois Flowers

    When we adopted Lilly—14 years ago last week—she was 9 months old and weighed about 17 pounds.

    That might not seem like much, but she was a chunk of a little girl—so much so that people we met in elevators and restaurants in China often mistook her for a 2-year-old.

    I had worked on my cardiovascular fitness in the months leading up to our adoption trip, and my regular runs on the treadmill prepared me to traverse the Great Wall with relative ease. My upper body strength, however, was a different story entirely.

    My arms and back were so weak that I could hold Lilly for only a few minutes at a time before passing her off to Randy. As a result, when we were out and about in China, she spent most of her time chewing on the strap of the Snugli that held her close to his chest.

    Amid the excitement and stress of becoming parents halfway across the globe, I sometimes worried about my ability to care for her when we returned home.

    What am I going to do when Randy goes back to work and I have to take Lilly somewhere, I asked myself. How am I going to carry her around when I can hardly hold her now?

    What happened, of course, was that the more I carried her, the stronger I got. And as she grew, so did my strength.

    lois-molly-chinaThree years later, we returned to China to adopt Molly. Though older than Lilly had been by four months, she also weighed 17 pounds. But because we were used to picking up 4-year-old Lilly, who was small by American standards but made up of solid muscle, little Molly seemed as light as a feather.

    I’ve been thinking about this lately as I navigate circumstances in my life that are requiring a bit more emotional and mental energy than usual. When I was a new mom, 17 pounds was almost more than I could manage, while carrying the same weight three years later—in the same unfamiliar setting, no less—was pretty easy.

    In the same way, it occurs to me that different seasons of life weigh differently than others. Some are heavier, some are lighter. That’s just the way it is.

    It might be that the difference lies in the actual weight, or burden, that we’re carrying. A 100-pound load is tougher to lug around than one that weighs 25 pounds, after all. It doesn’t matter if the burden is internal or caused by situations outside our control—heavy is heavy, regardless of the source.

    Our preparedness or current state of mind also plays a role. When we adopted Molly, she seemed light to me, even though she weighed exactly the same as Lilly when we got her. But I was different. I was stronger, a bit more experienced and confident in my ability to be her mama. It was just easier.

    Sometimes, it’s the gravity of the season we’re in that can make it seem like we are walking around with a ton of bricks on our chest. Certain phases in our live simply hold more significance than others—there’s more at stake and more rides on the outcome.

    External circumstances affect the weight of a season too. A level path doesn’t require as much energy as a steep incline, and it’s much easier to carry that 100-pound burden when it’s 50 degrees outside than it is when the thermometer reaches 95 in the shade. In the same way, what’s going on around us can sometimes make what’s happening within us all the more difficult.

    My reality right now, and probably yours too, is this: I’m dealing with different seasons of life simultaneously.

    Some are heavy; others are light. When the weight of a heavy piece overwhelms me, I’m often at a loss for what to do. I want an answer, a solution, a three-step plan for how to make the burden lighter—or better yet, disappear.

    But life doesn’t work like that. There are no bows, no pat answers, no quick fixes. As helpful as they can be, there are no Bible studies or books that can fast-forward us through the weightier times.

    But there is truth. There are promises to cling to, if we chose to do so.

    Scripture encourages us to cast our every care on the same sovereign God who hung the stars in the sky and orchestrates the four seasons. Nothing is too big or too small for His loving attention.

    When we walk through the fire, the desert, the deep waters, the rocky mountains—He is with us.

    No matter the season, He knows what we need. He knows what our loved ones need. And He will provide exactly that.

    Wisdom for the wondering. Love for the lonely. Comfort for the grieving. Water for the thirsty. Boldness for the timid. Peace for the anxious. Rest for the weary.

    And, yes, strength for the weak.

    ♥ Lois

    September 27, 2016 25 comments
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  • When Someone Says, “This is Awkward”

    by Lois Flowers September 20, 2016
    by Lois Flowers September 20, 2016 30 comments

    Just recently, I had a couple of conversations that included someone expressing to me, “This is awkward.” In each case, I understood why these friends felt that twinge of discomfort. But each time, my internal reaction was the same. Please, don’t feel awkward. That’s just life.  It’s totally OK. I …

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  • When the Response You Want Hasn’t Come Yet

    by Lois Flowers September 13, 2016
    by Lois Flowers September 13, 2016 39 comments

    I’ve been thinking about crickets lately. Not the black, six-legged, insect kind. The kind that show up when you pour out your heart to someone and get nothing in response. Crickets. They say silence is deafening, and sometimes, I think they are right. In this case, crickets are louder than …

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  • When You Feel Like You’re Not Enough

    by Lois Flowers September 6, 2016
    by Lois Flowers September 6, 2016 28 comments

    Enough. It’s a popular word these days, isn’t it? I think I understand why, but something about the whole idea also confuses me. When we feel like we are not enough, what does that mean, exactly? What’s enough? Is there ever enough? Enough for what? Who or what are we measuring …

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  • Song of the Month: “King of the World”

    by Lois Flowers September 1, 2016
    by Lois Flowers September 1, 2016 2 comments

    It’s the first day of September, and all is well. At least, it is in my little corner of the world. My girls are adjusting nicely to their new schools and schedules. I’ve adjusted to not having them around all day, and to the much-faster pace of life after 3 p.m. Life …

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  • What I Learned This Summer

    by Lois Flowers August 30, 2016
    by Lois Flowers August 30, 2016 33 comments

    In early August, we packed up the family minivan and headed north. After stopping at Wall Drug (if you’ve ever driven through South Dakota, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about), we continued west through the Badlands and the Black Hills, swung by Mount Rushmore, trekked around Devil’s Tower in …

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As long as we’re here on planet Earth, God has a good purpose for us. This is true no matter how old we are, what we feel on any given day or what we imagine anyone else thinks about us. It can be a struggle, though, to believe this and live like it. It requires divine strength and eternal hope. And so I write, one pilgrim to another, in an effort to encourage us both as we navigate the long walk home together.

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