Parking Lot Grace

One of the fun things about being a parent of a newly independent driver is getting texts like this in the morning: “Got to school, almost ran over a girl who wasn’t watching where she was going but we both lived. (laughing/crying emoji, praise-hands emoji)”

I know. This is how they learn.

Driving alone, near-misses, maybe even some actual bumps and scrapes here and there. Eventually—hopefully—defensive driving becomes second nature.

Especially in the parking lot and on the access roads around the school, where headphones-wearing high-school students regularly cross in front of you without looking up. Where you never know when one of the middle-schoolers from the building next door is going to fall off his bike onto the road or push his friend off the sidewalk right into your vehicle.

As I told Lilly many times when she first started driving herself to school, you have to be on your guard constantly. You have to assume that anyone who comes into your line of sight is going to step right in front of you without warning. You have to be prepared for the person in the car in front you to slam on his or her brakes for no apparent reason.

In other words, to prevent the worst-case scenario in the high school parking lot, you have to learn to expect it.

But there’s also something else you have to do—maybe the most important thing of all. You can’t take anything the pedestrians or other drivers do personally.

People can be careless, but they can also make honest mistakes. (Trust me, I’ve made a few myself.) Some are flat-out jerks, but others are just having a bad day.

The problem is, we often don’t know which scenario we’re dealing with—in crowded parking lots as well as online and in other areas of our daily lives.

It’s easy to judge the motivations of people who do things we don’t like or inconvenience us in some way. But there’s a line between sticking up for yourself (and others) when it’s necessary and being offended at everything, all the time.

This is sort of risky, because sometimes people actually mean to hurt us. We have to be wise, especially when we are looking out for the wellbeing of people for whom we are responsible.

More often than not, though, I think the best response is to smile and let it go.

We have to drive defensively, but we can’t live defensively. Not if we want to have a godly influence in a culture where angst and outrage are so prevalent.

This reminds me of the time I was walking to my car at Wal-Mart and a lady almost backed her vehicle right into me and my shopping cart. She obviously should have been paying more attention, but she was so apologetic I almost felt sorry for her.

Rather than get annoyed or upset, I simply smiled and told her not to worry about it. Later, I thought of a fitting way to describe what I had offered her and (let me just be totally honest here) what has been extended to me more times than I care to remember.

I call it parking lot grace. And perhaps you’ll agree that its application reaches well beyond the Wal-Mart and high school parking lot.

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Let’s Have Coffee, Purposeful Faith, #TellHisStory, Faith on Fire, Faith ‘n Friends and Grace & Truth.