Share Four Somethings: August 2023

Inside: Emptying nest prompts thankful reflection, thoughts of home and curiosity about what’s next. ~

Our neighbors got their driveway replaced right before Molly left for college. Such an event might not prompt a trip down memory lane for most people, but it did for me.

Years ago, our neighbor on the other side got a new driveway. Molly was home sick that day, but she felt well enough to sit in a little chair in our driveway and watch the whole project.

With her sweet purple glasses and tiny frame, she probably didn’t look like she’d be fascinated by heavy machinery and construction sites. But she was. Still is, in fact.

More Memories

We got the windshield replaced on our minivan another day she was home sick. That time, she sat in the garage, a safe distance away from the work zone. Thankfully, the good-natured technician didn’t mind working with an audience.

These scenes came to mind as I listened to the construction workers jackhammering next door last week.

Molly has a mechanically oriented mind, along with her own set of hand tools with flowered handles. She’s always enjoyed fixing things and solving problems. She’s creative and unafraid to try things that might make other people anxious.

For example, she’s been backing into parking spaces, without any help from side or rear cameras, since she started to drive on her own a few years ago. That one detail alone says a great deal about her, in my humble opinion as her completely biased mother.

That’s My Girl

I love all this about her, and so much more. Partly because her strengths are different from mine. And also because it’s been so fun to watch her grow from that little girl on the driveway into a confident young lady who is now a college freshman majoring in computer science.

I’m still processing all the feels that come with sending one’s youngest off to school. As I told a friend, my mind’s been like that little circle that goes around and around on your screen when Instagram isn’t working. Lots and lots of processing, and not a whole lot of words to describe it all.

But I’m OK with That

I know God will go before Molly in this stage of her life—and before older daughter Lilly, who leaves for a semester in Europe next week—just as He goes before me and you in our current seasons. I also take comfort in knowing millions of moms have trekked down this road before me, and others are currently on the same path right now.

With all this going on, I haven’t had many opportunities for focused writing. Fortunately, I can bring you up to date through this month’s Share Four Somethings and still have time to go swimming and shopping with Lilly before she boards a plane for her next big adventure.

Starting with …

Something Loved

The girls both had summer jobs that allowed them to be home for supper most weeknights. I love to cook for my family, to enjoy meals together, to linger after the last morsels of flourless chocolate cake are gone—talking and laughing about what happened that day and what’s coming tomorrow.

I’m gonna miss this, just like the country song says I will. But I will also cherish the memories.

Something Read

My mind is a bit scattered to be thinking deep thoughts about books right now. However, I did write down one quote from a novel that spoke to me this past month. It’s from Homecoming, a lengthy time-slip story by Kate Morton that crosses continents and weaves the details of several families into one tragic-yet-redemptive tale.

I recommend it if you like that sort of book. If not, you’ll probably still understand why the following words—spoken about the main character—tugged at my heart.

“She herself had been thinking about ‘home’ a lot,” Morton writes. “Home, she’d realized, wasn’t a place or a time or a person, though it could be any and all of those things: home was a feeling, a sense of being complete. The opposite of ‘home’ wasn’t ‘away,’ it was ‘lonely.’ When someone said, ‘I want to go home,’ what they really meant was that they didn’t want to feel lonely anymore.”

Something Learned

It’s going to take me a while to think through all the lessons from this nest-emptying season of my life. For now, the one that comes to mind is that intentionally approaching a big change like this with curiosity instead of anxiety makes all the difference in the world.

Instead of worrying about how I’m going to feel or being anxious about all the details or fretting about what’s next, I’ve been reminding myself take one task at a time. To feel each feeling as it comes and then move on to the next one. To trust, as I said before, that God is going before each one of us, wherever we are.

But mostly, to take to heart—over and over again—the command in Matthew 6:34: “Don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Something Ahead

After Lilly leaves, I need to sit down and make a list. It will include projects in process as well as those that have been on the back burner for far too long. I’ll add every person I want to call for coffee. Every email requesting help or advice that I’ve been meaning to write. Every looming task around the house that doesn’t fall under the heading of routine housework.

I suppose this could be overwhelming, but it’s not. Once the list is written, I’ll know what to do next. It’s not set in stone, but it will provide an anchor in the midst of transition. I need that, but you can also be sure I’ll be holding it loosely.

• • •

Now it’s your turn. What are you loving, learning and reading these days? What does the fall hold for you? Do you find to-do lists helpful? Please share in the comments.

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with sharefoursomethings, #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.