We have let go of so many things this year. I started to make a list, but then I stopped. You have your own list; you don’t need to see mine.
The point is, nearly every single activity or event that we thought might happen since mid March has either not happened or been strangely modified in some way or another. And the only way I’ve been able to cope with all these cancellations and changes is to do what I’ve encouraged my girls to do since the Covid-19 closures began: hold our plans loosely.
It’s not a new message for me. I began grappling with it during our years of infertility, when learning to hold my desires for biological children loosely helped me embrace the beautiful truth that God had other plans for our family.
In the last decade—as we’ve downsized and Randy changed jobs and worked out of town, as we’ve dealt with unexpected health challenges and supported both my parents in their final months of life—this practice has become even more important.
And it’s taken on even greater meaning in recent days when we took our older daughter to college for the first time—in the midst of a global pandemic.
Learn to hold things loosely.
It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? And yet, as I shared last week, that’s the one bit of advice I would share with someone who was about to turn 40 (or any other milestone age, for that matter).
I don’t know if the learning ever stops, honestly. But given all that we’ve already been through this year, I can’t think of a better time to start.
So how do we do it? How do we loosen the death grip we have on our plans, desires, hopes, expectations and loved ones and relinquish them into the loving hands of our heavenly Father?
How exactly, in the year 2020 when nothing is turning out the way we thought it would, do we learn to hold things loosely? I don’t have all the answers, but here are seven practices that might help.
• Ask God to help you loosen your grip, and be specific. Say, “Dear Lord, this particular thing is really important to me right now; let it be less so.”
• Find a friend or mentor who lives like this and learn from his or her story.
• Pray for God’s will to be done, not yours. Over time, I don’t think there’s a more effective way to practice holding things loosely than this.
• Vocalize it. When you feel yourself gripping a future plan or desire tighter, tell yourself, “I can’t do anything about this right now, so I’m going to let it go for the next day (or hour or 15 minutes).”
• Ask God to help you not to worry about tomorrow. (See also Matthew 6:25-34)
• Investigate God’s sovereignty and goodness. He is both, fully and completely. And the more deeply we allow this truth to penetrate our hearts and inform our theology, the easier it is to trust Him.
Finally, especially in 2020:
• When you write in your planner, write in pencil.
♥ Lois
How do we learn to hold things loosely? Pray for God's will to be done, not ours. Click To Tweet How do you learn to hold things loosely in the year 2020? For starters, when you write in your planner, write in pencil. Click To TweetP.S. I’m linking up this week with Purposeful Faith, #TellHisStory, InstaEncouragements, Recharge Wednesday, #HeartEncouragement, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.