There’s No Time Like the Present (to Start Fresh)

When we first met our daughter Lilly, in a hotel room somewhere in the middle of China, one of the things that fascinated me the most was the way she moved her hands.

She didn’t use a pacifier; instead, she sucked the third and fourth fingers on her left hand. She soothed herself in this way, and when she slept, fingers in mouth, her hands intertwined and moved back and forth in a way that almost seemed like graceful choreography.

She continued sucking her fingers like that for several years, eventually adding a blanket to the experience. I can’t remember where “pink blankie” came from, but it quickly became a critical piece of the finger-sucking experience.

Little sister Molly didn’t suck her fingers or have an extreme devotion to a particular blanket (although to this day, she has never met a soft, plushy throw she didn’t immediately fall in love with and wish to have on her bed). She was, however, quite attached to her pacifier.

When she turned three or so, it became clear that it was time to wean her off said “pacie.” This was round about 2007-ish, long (I think) before the days when every good mom’s first thought was to Google “weaning your child off her pacifier” and digitally annotate the first 48 articles about the best way to do this.

I didn’t do that, anyway.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure how to go about it. But I quickly realized that it wouldn’t be fair to make Molly give up her pacifier if we didn’t also find a way to help three-years-older Lilly stop sucking her fingers.

By this time, she only did this before naptime or bedtime, and always with her blanket in hand. Clearly, though, it was time to put that childish habit behind her.

Somehow, I got the brilliant idea (or maybe it was it the worst idea) to quit them both cold turkey.

Well, not exactly cold turkey with the blanket. We limited it to Lilly’s bedroom for a little while first. But one day, both the pacifier and the blanket simply went away.

I don’t know where this event would rank on anyone’s scale of good-to-bad parenting. At this point it doesn’t matter, really. It accomplished the intended result with surprisingly little drama.

Every family is different, each child unique. What worked for us might not work for anyone else.

But as I look back on this experience through the lens of today’s digital and cultural landscape, it brings to mind those of you who may be facing a decision of any kind and struggling with information overload, the desire to make the right choice and the pressure to do it perfectly.

It might be your practice to seek advice from Google, Facebook, your mother, your 12 closest friends, all your Instagram followers and possibly even the stranger in the health-and-beauty aisle at Wal-Mart (not that I have ever done that, of course).

Here’s the thing, though. Google can be helpful and friends are often encouraging. But they are not experts when it comes to your child, your marriage, your household or your life.

If she’s around, your mom may be a good one to turn to for various types of advice, or perhaps a more experienced friend or two. But sometimes, you just need to use the common sense that God gave you to make a decision already.

In other words, ask God for wisdom, and then go with your gut.

Don’t fret about whether your kid’s going to be ruined forever (more than likely, she’ll be fine). Don’t worry what your Facebook friends or Instagram followers will think (you don’t have to tell them).

The reality about being a parent (or a wife, or a woman) today is that there are so many good how-to resources available, it’s almost paralyzing.

It’s easy to get sucked into believing that everyone else is doing everything right and achieving amazing results with their kids, their fitness regimen, their time management, their decluttering efforts, their eating and their spiritual life (they’re probably not, by the way).

Factor in the pressure that comes from simply trying to survive in 2020, and it’s no wonder so many people are overwhelmed and feeling like they’ll never be enough.

First of all, being “enough” is a mirage. On our own, we’ll never achieve it. (If this is a struggle for you, here are some thoughts that might help.)

Second, now’s clearly not the right time to try to do everything—perfectly or at all. But that doesn’t mean we can’t quit one bad habit, start one new practice or help someone else do the same.

Several weeks ago, a blogger friend made the comment that “September is the new January.” I’ve sort of latched on to that idea and think of it often these days.

Our hopes and plans for the New Year may not have come to fruition—in fact, many of them probably haven’t. But we can pick any month—even October or November—to start fresh with something.

You may not need to wean your child off her pacifier or get her to stop sucking her fingers. But you might have something else pressing on you, something you’ve been putting off or mulling over or trying to decide how to fix for a long time.

In your heart, you know what to do—you really do—but you’ve let fear or anxiety or what-will-so-and-so think distract and discourage you.

If that’s you, I have one thing to say.

There’s no time like the present.

Just do it.

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Purposeful Faith, #TellHisStory, InstaEncouragements, Recharge Wednesday, #HeartEncouragement, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.