What I’m Grateful for this Mother’s Day

I’ve thought a lot about what I might want to say in a blog post the week before this particular Mother’s Day. If you’ve been following along here in recent months, you know that I’ve devoted a lot of words to what’s been going on with my mom these past months and how it has impacted my life and my heart.

While I’ve been writing about my mom, though, I’ve also been living my own life as a mom—in a year that held more changes for my girls than most in recent history.

When the academic year began, I was driving Lilly to ballet class nearly every day after school. Now she drives herself home from track practice after school.

Quitting dance was a huge decision for her, one that has allowed her to focus more on academics, spend more time with friends and be more active in her church youth group. And driving has opened up all kinds of freedom and opportunities, including a summer job (her first) that starts in a few weeks.

The changes haven’t been as fast and furious for younger sister Molly, but she’s also grown in every way this year. It’s been fun to watch her bloom, just as it’s been a joy to watch Lilly spread her wings.

Some day soon, I hope to write about the unexpected soul-searching that all this change has stirred up in me. It’s been a bit unsettling, to say the least.

But for now, as I think about Mother’s Day—from the perspective of a mom and of a daughter—the one word that keeps passing through my mind is gratitude.

I’m grateful that both my girls are in good places right now. I’m thankful for God’s protection and direction in my mom’s life, especially since the accident last summer that led her into long-term care.

But my gratitude goes beyond that.

I would have imagined this Mother’s Day would be hard—for a variety of reasons. My mom is no longer at home with my dad, she no longer calls to talk about the price of bananas at Aldi, she doesn’t send cards like she always used to do.

But because she lives in a nursing home not too far from me, I get to visit her nearly every day. We sit in her cozy room, conversing about homemade pasta sauce, argyle socks, teenage drivers and the Kansas City Royals. As my dad and I talk, she listens, laughs and dozes with her head on his shoulder.

It seems a bit strange to say it, but this feels like home to me.

This Mother’s Day, I’m grateful for the ways my mom loved me my whole life that I am only now realizing. I’m grateful for the opportunities to love her in ways that I never did before. And I’m also grateful for the chance to live this season of my life in the company of my teenage daughters.

During this past year, they’ve had front-row seats at a play none of us would have chosen to watch. They’ve seen me juggle the roles of wife, mother, daughter and sibling—sometimes with confidence and strength, other times with anxiety and tension.

I haven’t always been the best example, but even that is being an example, isn’t it? An example of how to fail (and ask for forgiveness when necessary). An example of how to struggle to find solutions (even when there are none). An example of what to do (or not do) when you’re flat-out exhausted in every way. An example of how to plow through the hard and rejoice at the blessings (however tiny) along the way.

I’m grateful for glimpses of God’s sovereignty and compassion. I’m grateful for streams of mercy that never cease. And finally, I’m grateful that “all the days ordained for me were written in God’s book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:16)

These beautiful and comforting words—some of my favorites in all of scripture—are true for me, for my girls and for my mom.

And, wherever you find yourself this Mother’s Day, they’re also true for you.

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Purposeful Faith, #TellHisStory, Coffee for Your Heart, Faith on Fire, Faith ‘n Friends and Grace & Truth.