Inside: What made me decide to get hearing aids when I was only 50, and how this can help you make a hard change too.
“I can hear, I just can’t make out what they’re saying.”
When my dad would say this, it used to drive me batty. If you can’t hear, you can’t hear, right?
Well, um … not exactly.
How I Learned This
My path to hearing-loss empathy began in my mid 40s when I noticed I was asking people to repeat themselves quite a lot. Especially my daughter Molly, who has a softer, higher-pitched voice.
I got my ears checked. A few years later, I got them checked again. Both exams showed some hearing loss but not enough to warrant correction.
By last summer, though, I was struggling to hear even more, and not just when Molly was talking. The audiologist discovered that one of my ears was completely full of wax. Clearing that out helped, but not completely.
Dad was Right
Turns out, my dad was on to something. I could hear people talking, but sure enough, I couldn’t make out what they were saying. (Ironic, I know. Which is often how these things go, I’ve found.)
At first, the thought that I needed hearing aids to correct a 25-percent loss in both ears made me feel old. I was only 50 at the time. That might seem ancient to my 17-year-old daughter, but in the grand scheme of life, it’s still pretty young.
What Made Me Do It
Eventually, I decided my own feelings about feeling—and possibly looking—older didn’t matter as much as my desire to hear better. I got a set of hearing aids, and—to paraphrase Robert Frost—they have made all the difference.
At restaurants. When talking with friends who have quiet voices. Outside, where cardinals and wind chimes and little chirpy animals sound so much brighter and clearer.
Even church worship services are more enjoyable, because I can actually hear myself sing again. (I didn’t realize I had lost this ability until I got it back.)
2 Takeaways
As I think about all of this a year later, I have a few thoughts to share.
First of all, if you have loved ones with hearing loss, please remember that it’s not their fault. If they have hearing aids and don’t wear them, that’s frustrating, for sure. But if they simply can’t hear, or can’t hear well even with correction, try to be patient and understanding with them.
I say this as a person who used to get hugely annoyed at my parents when they couldn’t hear me. It took me going to the hearing aid place with my dad, watching him get fitted for a new device for his one working ear and having the audiologist say that his hearing was the best it was going to get, for me to finally realize he truly was hearing as well as he could.
Take it from Me
I wish I had come to this realization much sooner. But perhaps someone else can learn from my experience and avoid some unnecessary aggravation in the moment, as well as regret later on.
Hearing loss is part of aging—a decline we often watch our parents go through and then eventually experience ourselves. I started the process prematurely, as is my custom. But I’m thankful I took the brave (for me) step and got the hearing aids.
That said, my encouragement to you is this. No matter your age, if there is help available for a condition or issue that is bothering you, don’t be afraid to do something about it.
Make the appointment. Take the test. Stop putting it off.
Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes
Sometimes, acceptance is what’s called for, rather than a prolonged fight for answers. But whether it’s hearing loss or something else, if it’s possible for you to get better or stronger, it won’t happen by osmosis.
It often takes a bit of humility to admit you need help. But when you do, and your loved ones see you making an effort, it also sets an example to them of how to grow older gracefully.
I’m guessing my daughters aren’t thinking about any of that, however. They’re just glad they don’t have to repeat everything they say to me anymore.
♥ Lois
Hearing loss is part of aging—a decline we often watch our parents go through and then eventually experience ourselves. Click To Tweet It takes a bit of humility to admit you need help. But when you do, and your loved ones see you making an effort, it also sets an example to them of how to grow older gracefully. Click To TweetP.S. I’m linking up this week with Sweet Tea & Friends, #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Recharge Wednesday, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.
Photo by Anna Kaminova on Unsplash
40 comments
Hi Lois,
I am so sorry to hear about your hearing loss. My husband’s hearing is fine but his brain isn’t receiving the signal properly. Many times, he cannot hear us when there is background noise. Thank you for the reminder to be patient.
Blessings,
Tammy
Oh Tammy … it does take a lot of patience, doesn’t it? I’m sorry that is your husband’s experience. Thank you for your kind words.
So true that we are not to be afraid to find out if there is something that can help us with any condition we are experiencing. Talented and gifted people have created hearing aids to help us, thankfully! Something happened to my left ear that now has tinnitus and 40% hearing loss. Still waiting to see an ENT but a hearing aid is likely in my near future. I tried a hearing aid, and it relieved the tinnitus and ear pressure! So, grateful such things exist!
I’m so sorry about your left ear, Lynn. I’m glad the hearing aid you tried was helpful … I don’t have much experience with tinnitus, but I have enough to know it can be very distressing!
Love this, Lois. I have a fair number of allergies that affects my hearing to varying degrees depending on the season of the year and I know what a difference too much mold or dust or ragweed in the air can do where my hearing is concerned.
Pam, I had no idea that seasonal allergies could affect a person’s hearing! I’m sorry this is the case for you but also glad you have identified the source of the problem. 🙂
Such an interesting post for me. Thought-provoking as I have needed hearing aids for almost ten years now but have resisted. Not exactly sure why (well, the price sure does figure in….) but have always been content to simply “make do.” Sounds silly even as I type it. Like you, I’m sure there is much I don’t even realize I am missing. Thanks for causing me to think!
You’re welcome, Jennifer. 🙂 I do understand your reluctance to take the hearing-aid plunge, though. Mine are small and pretty uncomfortable, but still, it feels good to take them out at night. I’m guessing people with more sensitive ears might have more trouble getting used to them. All sorts of things to consider when we’re thinking about this!
Lois, this >”It often takes a bit of humility to admit you need help” Is so true. This is such an Insightful and encouraging article I was blessed to have read today.
Thank you for linking up with Sweet Tea & Friends this month.
Thanks, Paula. So glad I found your linkup too!
Thanks for sharing this, Lois! I’m glad you’re able to hear better now. My mum has struggled with hearing loss so I have seen a lot of the challenges she faces and how difficult it can be, but hearing aids have made a big difference for her too. It is something than runs in the family so I expect it will be something I have to deal with too.
Lesley, I’m glad hearing aids have helped your mom. Sometimes it’s helpful to know something might be an issue later on … that way it doesn’t catch us so off guard.
My m-i-l had hearing aids when we first moved her near us, but her hearing had deteriorated more than she realized. It was so frustrating when she said, “You’ll just have to speak up,” and we were near shouting right next to her. She grew up in the Depression era, and one just did not spend money when one could make do. My husband gently insisted that new hearing aids were a needed expense, and once she had them, she enjoyed them.
I had to use a walker several years ago while recovering from a virus that attacked my spine. I was embarrassed by it (it didn’t help that it was borrowed and squeaky). But when I first started walking without it, I missed it in the sense that it was an obvious sign I was wobbly, and people took care around me. It took me a long time to adjust to people whizzing around me and bumping into me, but eventually I got steady enough to maneuver.
Your posts helps remind me that whenever I need aids of some kind, I should see them as useful tools to help me function better. But I am sure I’ll have to get past feeling old with them–or maybe use them even if they do make me feel old.
My biggest physical age-related problem for the moment is food-related. The list of foods that give me problems keeps growing. And even though I have changed some food habits, it hasn’t seemed to make a difference in my weight (but I have probably replaced them with other bad habits, like getting take out too often). My husband’s dr. has been after him about watching carbs and sugars for years, and at his last check-up, told him to decrease animal products. :-/ A diet of mainly salads doesn’t appeal to me. . . but would probably be good for me on several levels.
By the way–it was so good to “see” you yesterday!
Barbara, it was great to “see” you too! I’m glad the new hearing aids helped your mother-in-law. I’m sure that lessened everyone’s frustration significantly. 🙂 I like the idea of viewing aids as “useful tools to help [us] function better.” But it’s so hard to give up foods we like, isn’t it?
This is such an important post, Lois! I’m ashamed to admit I’ve gotten frustrated in the past when people couldn’t hear me, but the older I get, the more I realize my OWN hearing is worse too. So I need to be more patient with others because I need them to be patient with me. 🙂 I’ve told Jeff to please never let me be too proud to wear hearing aids once I need them because it has such a possibility of cutting a person off from relationships if they’re unable to hear well. Good for you in getting them and sharing about it!
Good for YOU to have this attitude, Lisa. 🙂 You are so right about the isolation that not being able to hear can cause. My mom couldn’t wear her old hearing aids when she first went into long-term care, and the look on her face when she was finally fitted for new ones and was able to hear again was absolutely priceless.
This lands on my heart, Lois. I’ve been struggling with a health problem for a bit that isn’t very serious, but will probably require some permanent tweaks to my lifestyle. And accepting that has been a struggle! Thank you for your humility, example and compassionate wisdom! And I’m glad you can hear better!!
Me too, Bethany. I’m sorry about your health problem … I know that kind of acceptance can be difficult. It’s tough to make lifestyle changes even when we know intellectually that they are good for us.
Ooooh, thank you 💚👂
You’re welcome, Aritha. 🙂 (I love the ear emoji.)
When this jar of clay fails– in countless ways — my first response is frustration. Thanks for your sweet reasonableness!
Oh, I definitely have my moments of frustration too, Michele! But thank you for your kind words. 🙂
This is so well said and applies to so many challenges in life. Nobody gets very far without needing to admit some kind of weakness or ask for help. And I especially love this:
“Sometimes, acceptance is what’s called for, rather than a prolonged fight for answers. But whether it’s hearing loss or something else, if it’s possible for you to get better or stronger, it won’t happen by osmosis.” Words I need to learn to live by.
Me too, Lory. I hope you’re doing well, my friend.
Great advice here Lois!
Thank you!
Blessings, Jennifer
You’re welcome, Jennifer. 🙂
Lois, thanks for normalizing all this. I’m already cupping my hand behind my ear to get family members to repeat themselves. Cataracts are forming and my knees are aching.
I guess I didn’t see this all coming.
I know what you mean, Linda … about the ear-cupping and not seeing it all coming. We’re always much too young for any of it, at any age. 🙂
A great encouragement for those who are losing their hearing. We are all to blame when we don’t want to take the time to relly listen to people’s conversations. We miss out on hearing their hearts .
My problem is …
Hyperacusis!! So .. Everything
is too loud! and causes pain. People need to be aware of this..as it would make life easier
There is no cure but God can heal anything.
Oh my, Heather … I had never heard of hyperacusis before you mentioned it. I’m so sorry you have to experience this … it sounds very trying. You’re right about missing out on hearing others’ hearts when we don’t take the time to really listen. So glad you stopped by this week!
I’m so glad they make a difference, Lois. It’s hard to accept limitations, but you show us the need to get the help we need. I appreciate your empathy, not only with this, but with loss in general. Love and blessings to you!
Thanks, Trudy. I appreciate your empathy too, my friend. Love and hugs to you!
This sort of thing is humbling…and I need to take your advice! Thanks!
I need to take my advice too, Amy! 🙂
Very very good advice-thank you!
You’re welcome, Jan!
Lois, I can so relate. A few years ago, after failing the eye test to renew my license, I had my eyes checked and went through cataract surgery. Even though I get my eyes checked every year, the cataracts had progressed quickly. It was humbling for sure but it has given me a new level of compassion for all of us as we grow older.
Oh Joanne, eye surgery gives me the heebie jeebies … guess I’ll have to get over that sooner or later, huh? And wouldn’t it be nice if that sort of compassion just came naturally? Just think of how much we’ll have (hopefully) when we’re all through with this life. Hugs, friend.
Lois, it is humbling to have weaknesses replace strengths we once took for granted. My knees began to limit my enjoyment of tennis and dancing much too early in my life. Other things followed. You’re right, it makes you more understanding when you have areas you can’t change.
So true, Debbie. I’m sorry that your knees interfered with dancing and tennis too soon.