When Taking the Next Step Makes You Second-Guess Yourself

Inside: What to do when you put yourself out there and immediately start questioning what you’ve done. Plus, an unexpected way to handle the wait when the outcome is out of your hands. ~

I wrote recently about being in a season of knocking.

Along with that, it seems, I’m also in a season of second-guessing. (More like third- and fourth-guessing, to be completely accurate.)

I knock, which right now looks like applying for this or submitting that or asking someone for help with the other thing. And then I wait for an answer.

And I Wonder

What on earth was I thinking? Did I say it wrong? Do they hate it? What if they say no? What if they say nothing?

Yep. Second-guessing, to the fifth power.

This is an uncomfortable spot for anyone, but especially for a person who tends to be more logical than not. I normally don’t spend much time second-guessing myself.

Plus, as I wrote here, I really do believe that God will open the right doors for us at the right time. I also believe that when a door comes along that looks like it could open to an opportunity (even if that possibility is remote), we should knock.

Why the Uptick?

Since now is my word for 2024, I’ve been putting this into practice with a little more urgency lately. Which, I suppose, explains the uptick in second-guessing. That, along with being a new empty nester with ideas about what I want to do when I grow up but less confidence when it comes to implementing those ideas.

Fledgling empty nesters aren’t the only ones who go through this, of course. Recent or soon-to-be retirees, college seniors about to graduate, middle-aged men who wonder what’s next, moms with kids about to enter school—all face question marks about what the future holds and the best way to move forward into it.

What I’m learning, in this season of “now,” is to knock on a door in the best way I know how, then mark it off my to-do list and move on.

Out of My Hands

It’s not that I forget I’ve sent the email or asked someone for help. But there’s nothing we can do to make people respond to us. So when I’m tempted second-guess, I’m trying to remind myself that it’s now out of my hands.

That way, I’m not sitting around waiting on pins and needles. And if the answer I hope for comes, all the better.

I readily admit this is easier said than done. But having a plan in place is helpful.

I’m also learning to pay close attention to how God is moving in the lives of other people. Not to compare, but to be encouraged.

More to the Story

When something good happens to someone else, there’s usually a story behind the story. And it often comes out in their actual words.

“I struggled for years to figure this out, and then this one thing fell into place and it became clear.”

Or, “I thought I had to do it this way for so long, but then someone suggested this, and now I know how to proceed.”

We usually have no idea what preceded a breakthrough for anyone else. Rather than think, “Why her and not me?” when someone shares a story of God’s provision, let’s take heart and remember our faithful God will work out His plans for us too.

On His Timetable, Not Ours

This can be a challenge for those of us who like to read the end of the book first. There’s no peeking ahead during knocking season, however.

We don’t often get a divine message that says, “This is the way, walk in it” (see Isaiah 30:21).

More often, our prayer must be, “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you” (2 Chronicles 20:12).

One step leads to the next. Over and over again. In big ways and little ways.

• • •

Are you in a knocking season? Has it been accompanied by bouts of second-guessing? Tell us about it in the comments so we can encourage each other to keep moving forward in faith.

♥ Lois

P.S. I’m linking up this week with One Word 2024, #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.