2 Ways to Fight the Anxious What-ifs

by Lois Flowers

Not too long ago, on an anxious-feeling Monday morning, I scratched out a little message about hope and the fear of the unknown.

I wrote it in the second person, but if you happened to read it when I posted it here the next day, you probably guessed that I wasn’t just writing to “you”—I was also writing to myself.

The previous week, I had been stressing about a mammogram I hadn’t even had yet. I had skipped this annual test the previous year for a variety of reasons, and I continued to put it off even after life settled down some.

In January, I had a sinus infection that caused a lot of coughing, which led to some worrisome (at least to me) aches in my chest. As it was getting close to the time of year when I usually have a mammogram anyway, I finally decided to go ahead and get it done so I could set my mind at ease about those pesky aches.

Even before the appointment, the what-ifs started assailing me. It wasn’t just, “What if they find something?” It was, “What if they find something now that they would have found last year if I had only had the test when I was supposed to have had it?”

(Please tell me I’m not the only one who does this.)

I’ve had to go back for follow-up ultrasounds a few times in the past, and everything has always been OK. There are no guarantees, of course, but the logical and reasonable response would have been to take one thing at a time.

I was having difficulty with that, though—almost to the point of ridiculousness.

I know the Bible verse by heart—the one about being anxious for nothing. Nothing! That pretty much covers everything, doesn’t it?

I’ve struggled mightily with worry in the past, but life experiences and the mysterious workings of the Holy Spirit have broken many of those chains. Not all of them, though.

I had the mammogram on a Friday, wrote the aforementioned blog post the following Monday, and got the “all-clear” letter from the imaging center a few days later.

All that worrying for nothing, right?

A friend later suggested that my battle with the fear of the unknown may have been connected to grief—turns out, her own anxiety was exacerbated and life just felt more unsettled when she was going through the grieving process.

It made sense and was even somewhat of a relief. Being aware of this connection might not eliminate future anxiety, but at least I can be on the lookout and perhaps recognize that this is what’s going on next time I’m overly anxious about something.

Not all fear of the unknown is rooted in grief, of course. These days, uncertainty swirls around us like a funnel cloud, threatening to pull us under with the most recent headlines about the coronavirus, the upcoming presidential election or the latest natural disaster.

Closer to home, perhaps the unsettling unknowns have to do with a child heading to college for the first time, aging parents with declining health, where our careers are going or how a serious illness is going to play out for us.

It’s enough to keep even the most stalwart believer up at night, worrying about all the what-ifs.

Philippians 4:6-7 assures us that when we come to our heavenly Father with our concerns—turning everything over to Him through “prayer and supplication”—the “peace of God that that surpasses all understanding will guard [our] hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

This kind of peace is for real. I’ve experienced it; you probably have too.

But God also “knows how we are formed and remembers that we are dust.” (Psalm 103:14) As finite human beings, sometimes we get anxious. And sometimes that anxiety is compounded because we can’t stop feeling anxious.

I don’t have any permanent solutions for this problem. But I can share a daytime promise and a nighttime prayer that might help, at least during the next 24 hours.

When the fear of the unknown assails you during the day, mediate on the powerful truths spelled out in a verse that has been stuck on my refrigerator door for as long as I can remember.

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

And when your worries wake or keep you up at night, offer up a plea that author Jan Karon (of Mitford fame) calls the “prayer that never fails.”

“Thy will be done.”

Hang in there, friends. God is with us, and we can find rest in Him.

Lois

The 'peace of God that that surpasses all understanding' is for real. Click To Tweet Hang in there, friends. God is with us, and we can find rest in Him. Click To Tweet

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Purposeful Faith, #TellHisStory, InstaEncouragements, Recharge Wednesday, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

Leave a Comment

16 comments

Lesley March 12, 2020 - 5:43 pm

I definitely relate to this – I am an expert at imagining all kinds of worst case scenarios! Like you, I have learned to worry less over the years and to trust in God but it is something I still struggle with at times, especially fear of the unknown, so this is a great reminder of truth!

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Lois Flowers March 14, 2020 - 5:28 pm

I hear you, Lesley. There are so many unknowns swirling around right now … I need frequent reminders to pray the prayer that never fails. 🙂

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Trudy March 11, 2020 - 11:26 am

I’m so glad your mammogram turned out clear, Lois. This post really resonates with me. I’m a professional worrywart. 🙁 Like you, God has broken some of those chains, but I’m still weak in that area. I have often prayed the Serenity Prayer and pleaded with God to help me lay all burdens in His hands. I’m so grateful God is so compassionate and patient with me! I love that Deuteronomy 31 verse! Thank you for sharing so honestly and for these ways of fighting those anxious what-ifs, my friend! Love and blessings to you!

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Lois Flowers March 14, 2020 - 5:25 pm

Oh Trudy … some of my siblings used to call me “Worry Busby” when I was a child, so I totally understand the idea of being a “professional worrywart.” Yes, I’m also grateful that God is compassionate and patient with us when we come to Him with the same struggle over and over. I hope you are well, my friend … you’ve been on my heart lately.

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Patsy Burnette March 11, 2020 - 9:33 am

Thank you for this, Lois! I wrote a post some time back called “Philippians 4:8-9 and My What If Book.” (https://www.instaencouragements.com/blog/philippians-48-9-and-my-what-if-book) Those “what ifs” can really throw us if we’re not careful! Philippians 4:8-9 is my battle cry!

Thanks for linking up at InstaEncouragements!

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Lois Flowers March 14, 2020 - 5:21 pm

Patsy, thanks for sharing the link to your post about your “What If Book.” I will head over there and read it soon. 🙂

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Laurie March 11, 2020 - 7:09 am

Thank you for this post, Lois. You did write it just for me, right? The timing is perfect. I had the exact same experience, only for me, it was a cholesterol test rather than a mammogram. I worried for nearly a year about that test and it came back fine.
Thank you for the verses from Philippians. I need to remember them.

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Lois Flowers March 14, 2020 - 5:19 pm

Yes, Laurie … of course I wrote the post just for you. 🙂 I’m so glad your cholesterol test came back fine too.

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Jeanne Takenaka March 10, 2020 - 7:53 pm

Lois, this is such a beautiful post. I’ve definitely dealt with unknown fears looming larger than they should in my thoughts and perspective. We do need to turn to God. And Deut 31:8 is so perfect. He is always with us, even when the test results don’t come back “all clear.” Even when the hard things do topple us. He’s always there to catch us and right us and remind us He’s walking with us.

Sending you hugs, friend.

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Lois Flowers March 14, 2020 - 5:16 pm

Oh Jeanne … it’s so good to hear from you, especially this week. Yes, He is with us. And that is enough. Sending you hugs right back!

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Karen Del Tatto March 10, 2020 - 6:50 pm

Hi Lois, As I read your post here, it was as if I wrote it! I have certainly experienced all that you shared here.

AND Deuteronomy 31:8 is my life verse! A verse that was born out of my battle with anxiety. Like you, I am better than I was, but certainly still struggle with worry and anxiety.

Thank you so much for your transparency and for your encouragment.

Blessings,

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Lois Flowers March 14, 2020 - 5:15 pm

It certainly sounds like we have a lot in common, Karen. I’d have to say Deuteronomy 31:8 is my life verse too … or at least it has become that over the last 20 years or so. So much powerful truth packed in a few short lines. Thank you for you kind words, my friend … I’m so glad you stopped by this week.

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Lisa notes March 10, 2020 - 4:31 pm

You are definitely not the only one to do this: “What if they find something they could have found last year…” I do that too.

I’m glad your results were all clear! I’m reading a book about worrying now that is challenging me about the “rewards” that I get from it. It doesn’t seem like I do! But my worrying must bring me some sort of false sense of control that I need to relinquish to the Father. It’s just so hard to do.

Thank you for sharing the Deuteronomy verse. I need it right now too. I’m letting my mind worry way too much over a family member in crisis right now. 🙁

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Lois Flowers March 14, 2020 - 5:12 pm

Oh Lisa … there is so much to be concerned about right now, isn’t there? With family members, on the news, in our communities … the Deuteronomy verse has been on my mind a lot lately for sure. The book about rewards from worrying sounds very interesting … and the thing about the false sense of control definitely makes sense. Praying for your family member right now, my friend … and for you as well.

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Theresa Boedeker March 10, 2020 - 10:08 am

W can’t eliminate our fears, but we can take them to God and deal with them. Can so relate that a fear can jump ahead two to three steps and move from a reasonable what if, to a herculean what if. Our minds can be anxious to go the very worst scenario. Maybe it comforts us in some way because the chances are remote. So we feel we can deal with the less severe chances.

Glad your mammogram was “all-clear.”

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Lois Flowers March 14, 2020 - 5:06 pm

Thanks so much, Theresa. I appreciate your thoughts about the worst-case scenario … I think you’re on to something there. And with all the unknowns swirling about right now, taking our fears to God definitely seems like the best first step.

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