Inside: In the middle of an uncertain, unsettling season, these thoughts kept me grounded and focused on the present. I hope they do the same for you. ~
Earlier this year, my young adult daughter was preparing to launch out on her own. At one point, she experienced a setback that seemed insurmountable to her.
It wasn’t, of course. In the moment, though, I shared a few questions I hoped would help her push through until the issue was resolved.
Weeks later, as I faced my own unexpected season full of uncertainty and unsettled feelings, those questions came back to me. I don’t know if my daughter found them useful, but they kept me grounded and focused on the present. They still are, in fact. And I’m sharing them today because I think they may do the same for you.
1. What is the Truth about the Situation?
When we’re facing something hard, it’s easy to let the untrue or unknown dominate our thoughts.
Everyone else is …
Why can’t I just …
When am I ever going to …
Sound familiar? Rather overgeneralizing or assuming the worst, talk to yourself instead of listening to yourself. Don’t dwell on worst-case scenarios; speak the truth about the situation as you know currently know it.
If you don’t have all the facts, put your response on hold until you have more information. Take your eyes off the outcome you hope for and fix them on Jesus and your present reality. I’m still learning to do this, but it does help.
2. What Are You Thankful for in This Situation?
Notice I didn’t say, “What are you thankful for?” It’s always good to give thanks for obvious blessings, but in this case, I encourage you to look for blessings in your current, unexpected and perhaps unfortunate circumstances.
This isn’t just my advice, of course. First Thessalonians 5:16-18 puts it bluntly, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (emphasis added).
What could this look like in real life? Thanking God for friends who are praying for you or providing meals for your family. Being grateful you are stronger or more resilient—physically, emotionally or spiritually—than you were the last time you experienced a crisis. Perhaps even giving thanks that you can demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit to the people with whom you are interacting—maybe even the very ones who caused your situation.
3. What is the Next Step?
This may involve taking some kind of action relating to your problem, or it may be as simple as waiting for an answer to a request for more information. It might seem strange to think of waiting as a next step, but it often is.
That said, if you’re in holding pattern, the next step could be doing the dishes, baking banana bread, having coffee with a friend or taking a walk. Engaging in such tasks is productive, for starters. But it can also take your mind off the untrue thoughts I mentioned earlier, especially if you have an encouraging podcast or worship music playing in the background.
My daughter’s situation resolved fairly quickly, while my own unexpected scenario has involved months of recovery. Turns out I needed my advice more than she did.
• • •
Do any of these steps resonate with you? How do you push through when the unexpected hits? Please share in the comments.
• • •
In Case You Missed It
I’m starting a subscriber-only email newsletter called Courage, Dear Heart. If you’re already on the list, I’m so grateful. If you’re not, and you could use an extra dose of soul-level encouragement each month, I would love for you to subscribe.
As my way of saying thanks, you will receive a seven-day devotional called Faith, Fear, and the God Who Goes Before Us once you sign up.
The newsletter will replace my third blog post each month. l hope to send out the first edition on Oct. 21.
♥ Lois
When you're in a holding pattern, take your eyes off the outcome you hope for and fix them on Jesus and your present reality. Share on X It might seem strange to think of waiting as a next step, but it often is. Share on XP.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.
18 comments
Lois, I loved this post. I’m all about gratitude, and you are right, it is so important to ask—what are you thankful for in this situation?
I’m grateful for your voice in the Grace & Truth Link-Up! Your post is featured on my Pinterest board— take a look: https://www.pinterest.com/embracingtheune/grace-truth-christian-link-up-featured-posts/
Aw, Maree … thanks for sharing my post on your Pinterest board. And yes, gratitude is a lifesaver, isn’t it? Hugs, friend.
These are such great questions! You’re so right that waiting is a next step sometimes – it’s definitely not my favorite on but the Lord has done some awesome things in waiting seasons, hasn’t he? Thanks for sharing these, friend!
Bethany, waiting isn’t my favorite either (as you know!) but yes, He has done great things in the waiting. And He will continue to do so, for both of us!
Such great questions to help center oneself during uncertain times! Thank you!
You’re very welcome, Laura! Thanks for stopping by this week. 🙂
These are great questions to ask ourselves as each one will help us to reign in our emotions. Question #1 is especially a good one to ask as often we allow ourselves to go down the path of “what if’s”, which usually do not even occur. Keeping our thoughts focused on the truth of the situation brings a better perspective.
You’re right about those what-ifs that usually don’t even occur, Joanne. Remembering the truth brings peace, doesn’t it?
Whenever someone wise is dispensing thoughts on waiting, I’m ready to listen.
These are good questions to give shape to that awkward in-between.
“That awkward in-between” is a good way to put it, Michele. I’m there now, and thankful for God’s peace.
Loved this advice, Lois. I follow a similar path when faced with unexpected, challenging or distressing situations. I think the most impactful for me is “What is the truth about the situation?” I can get so caught up in all the what ifs or why mes that I cannot see anything clearly or truly. This one question alone has helped me avoid unnecessary anxiety, worry and frustration, but more importantly has helped me see God in the midst of all.
Donna, I understand the difficulty in seeing things clearly under those circumstances. I’m so thankful that asking about the truth in each situation helps us avoid unnecessary emotions AND enables us to see God in the middle of it. Hugs, friend.
These are all such great questions to ask ourselves, Lois. Thank you! What especially hit home for me is to fix our eyes on Jesus and our present reality rather than on the outcome we want. Also to ask ourselves what we’re especially thankful for IN our present situation. Love, hugs, and blessings to you!
You’re welcome, Trudy! The need to fix our eyes on Jesus is resonating with me too. And giving thanks in all things … also trying to do that today with some unexpected family stuff. I hope you are well, friend. Much love to you!
The first one resonates with me the most. When I am in a crisis, especially when I’m ill, I have this feeling that it’s going to be that way forever. I don’t know why. I suppose it’s possible in some cases, but most of the time, things will get better eventually.
And this: “Take your eyes off the outcome you hope for and fix them on Jesus and your present reality.” I tend to feel there is only one right acceptable outcome. But God often has other things in mind. 🙂
“Most of the time, things will get better eventually.” So true, Barbara. And yet, it’s so easy to think otherwise, isn’t it? And amen to the fact that “God often has other things in mind.” I’m living that out right now, and your words are a good reminder to me.
Excellent questions to keep in my back pocket.
Thanks, Carole. They keep returning to me as well!