A Helpful Lesson from the High School Parking Lot

by Lois Flowers

Inside: We have to drive defensively, but we can’t live defensively. Not if we want to have a sweet influence in a culture where angst and outrage are so prevalent. ~

It’s been nearly a decade since my older daughter started driving, but there are some things a mother does not forget.

For example, one of the fun aspects of parenting a newly independent driver is getting texts like this in the morning: “Got to school, almost ran over a girl who wasn’t watching where she was going but we both lived.”

This is how they learn, right? Driving alone, near-misses, maybe even some actual bumps and scrapes here and there. Eventually—hopefully—defensive driving becomes second nature.

Constant Vigilance

Especially in the parking lot and on the access roads around the school, where AirPod-wearing high-school students regularly cross in front of you without looking up. Where you never know when one of the middle-schoolers from the building next door is going to fall off his bike onto the road or push his friend off the sidewalk right into your vehicle.

As I told Lilly many times when she first started driving herself to school, you have to be on your guard constantly. You have to assume that anyone who comes into your line of sight is going to step right in front of you without warning. You have to be prepared for the person in the car in front you to slam on his or her brakes for no apparent reason.

In other words, to prevent the worst-case scenario in the high school parking lot, you have to learn to expect it.

More Importantly …

But there’s also something else you have to remember—maybe the most important thing of all. You can’t take anything the pedestrians or other drivers do personally.

People can be careless, but they can also make honest mistakes. (Trust me, I’ve made a few myself.) Some are flat-out jerks, but others are just having a bad day.

The problem is, we often don’t know which scenario we’re dealing with—in crowded parking lots as well as online and in other areas of our daily lives.

Let it Go

It’s easy to judge the motivations of people who do things we don’t like or inconvenience us in some way. But there’s a line between sticking up for yourself (and others) when it’s necessary and being offended at everything, all the time.

This is sort of risky, because sometimes people actually mean to hurt us. We have to be wise, especially when we are looking out for the wellbeing of people for whom we are responsible.

Most times, though, I think the best response is to smile and let it go.

We have to drive defensively, but we can’t live defensively. Not if we want to have a godly influence in a culture where angst and outrage are so prevalent.

Parking Lot Grace

This reminds me of a time I was walking to my car at Wal-Mart and a lady almost backed her vehicle right into me and my shopping cart. She obviously should have been paying more attention, but she was so apologetic I almost felt sorry for her.

Rather than get annoyed or upset, I simply smiled and told her not to worry about it. Later, I thought of a fitting way to describe what I had offered her—and what has been extended to me more times than I care to remember.

I call it parking lot grace. And perhaps you’ll agree that its application reaches well beyond the Wal-Mart and high-school parking lots.

• • •

Have you ever been the giver or recipient of parking-lot grace? Either in an actual parking lot or some other setting? Please share in the comments.

Lois

We have to drive defensively, but we can’t live defensively. Not if we want to have a godly influence in a culture where angst and outrage are so prevalent. Share on X There’s a line between sticking up for yourself when it's necessary and being offended at everything, all the time. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

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20 comments

Rosie Meadow April 7, 2026 - 7:47 am

I like that “parking lot grace” – how appropriate for so many situations! ~ Rosie

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Lois Flowers April 10, 2026 - 6:03 pm

Yes, that’s right! Giving the benefit of the doubt is very often a good response, don’t you think?

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Paula February 10, 2026 - 6:23 am

Lois this is so insightful. What wise words within this life lesson. I like how you said parking lot grace. I’m storing it mentally so I can remember.

Visiting today from Joanne’s

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Lois Flowers February 13, 2026 - 12:06 pm

Thanks for your kind words, Paula. I have it stored mentally too! Hugs, friend.

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Lisa notes February 7, 2026 - 7:59 pm

Yes, I’ve been both the giver of and the recipient of parking lot grace. 🙂 So thankful for it because we do all do some stupid things sometimes when we’re just not thinking. When possible, I try to give the benefit of the doubt. It’s good for everybody. Thanks for the encouragement!

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Lois Flowers February 13, 2026 - 12:06 pm

I agree about the benefit of the doubt, Lisa. Life is too short to think the worst all the time!

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Joanne Viola February 5, 2026 - 5:03 am

“Parking Lot Grace.” Such a fitting description. May I be one who extends grace often as I have been the recipient of grace more times than I deserved. “We have to drive defensively, but we can’t live defensively. Not if we want to have a godly influence in a culture where angst and outrage are so prevalent.” So very true!

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Lois Flowers February 7, 2026 - 4:39 pm

I’m thankful for the people who have extended parking lot grace to me too, Joanne. In parking lots and elsewhere! Hugs, friend.

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Donna February 4, 2026 - 3:19 pm

Wonderful wisdom, Lois, for parking lots and life! I remember my first foray into driving a car many (many) moons ago, and for some reason one warning given by my mom always stayed with me, “if there’s a ball, there’s a kid chasing it, always stop. And she was right. I can’t say I’ve experienced any parking lot grace, mostly parking lot grief, like the time a guy just missed hitting me as I walked into a store and then promptly spent 10 minutes berating me.

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Lois Flowers February 7, 2026 - 4:37 pm

Oh Donna, I’m so sorry that happened to you! And I can see why your mom’s advice stuck with you … I always think the same thing when I see a ball near the street. I hope you are having a good weekend. I’m wishing we could chat about our favorite teams in the Super Bowl this weekend, but maybe next year? Hugs, friend.

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Susan February 4, 2026 - 9:20 am

Such great wisdom! Parking Lot Grace!!!

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Lois Flowers February 7, 2026 - 4:35 pm

Thanks, Susan! ❤️

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Debbie Wilson February 3, 2026 - 3:17 pm

I remember those high school parking lots. Extending grace in life is a good practice.

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Lois Flowers February 7, 2026 - 4:34 pm

I agree, Debbie. I’m glad my days of frequenting high school parking lots are over, but there are plenty of other places to practice this, aren’t there?

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Barbara Harper February 3, 2026 - 1:09 pm

This reminds me of one of my oldest son’s first forays driving alone. He commented in an irritated voice about the number of people who honked at him–seemingly without any thought that they might have been honking at HIM for a reason. I could only pray for his protection! He’s been driving for over 20 years now without an accident, so I guess he got the hang of it.

I like the thought of parking lot grace. I’ve needed it often myself. I’ve sometimes gotten steamed at the person who cut me off in traffic and that kind of thing. But it doesn’t pay to let it raise my blood pressure and heart rate–and lower my peace–for the rest of my drive. And my need for grace should remind me of the need to extend it to others.

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Lois Flowers February 7, 2026 - 4:32 pm

That’s funny about your son as a new solo driver, Barbara. Two decades of accident-free driving sounds good to me! I agree about not taking the things other drivers do personally … it’s definitely better for our health!

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Michele Morin February 3, 2026 - 10:29 am

So much wisdom in this! Extending grace in the parking lot (and in the church pew, and at the dining room table and…) is one way we put the life of Jesus on display in the here and now.

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Lois Flowers February 7, 2026 - 4:29 pm

So true, Michele. It works everywhere, doesn’t it?

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Linda Stoll February 3, 2026 - 7:53 am

Oh I never want to go back to those days! Near misses. Close encounters with other cars, mailboxes, the plate glass window of the post office.

Lord have mercy.

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Lois Flowers February 7, 2026 - 4:28 pm

Oh dear, Linda … sounds like you have some stories to tell! My dad used to call putting student drivers on the road “white-knuckle time.” I think he was on to something with that!

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