Author

Lois Flowers

‘Tis the Season for a Blogging Break

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: As my healing continues, it seems like a good time to hit the pause button here. ~

I’m not sure how it’s already July, but here we are.

It’s summer according to the traditional calendar, but I haven’t quite settled on a name for the season I’m in.

Recovery mode applies. I’ve said it before but it bears repeating. I’m extremely grateful for the healing work God has done and continues to do in my mind and body. I’ve come a long way in the three months since my bike accident, that’s for sure.

Even so, I’m in the middle of a process that takes time. Slow and steady wins the race, as the saying goes.

Sometimes, though, I feel like I’m living in a waiting room. In certain areas, my progress feels like two steps forward and three steps back.

In the midst of all that, I’ve sensed the nudge to take a break from blogging. Just for a month or two, I think.

I have some projects I’d like to complete in July, as well as some words to write. Whether those words turn into blog posts remains to be seen.

Come what may, I’m trusting that God will fulfill His purposes for this season of my life. And I’m trusting that He will do the same for you.

♥ Lois

Come what may, I’m trusting that God will fulfill His purposes for this season of my life. And I’m trusting that He will do the same for you. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

30 comments
FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinEmail

A Bookish Way to Encourage a Hurting Friend

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: Most of us find solace in the pages of a book from time to time. But what might happen if we thought of reading as a way to comfort someone else? ~

Many years ago, in a couple of different conversations, my friend Lisa told me about a book she was reading.

The title? Dying Well.

Lisa had stage IV breast cancer. Her doctor had told her the average patient with her disease survives 10 years, and she’d been fighting for six. She’d also been told that she’d live as long as she kept responding to treatment, but that when she stopped responding, the end would come quickly.

Getting Ready

Statistically, Lisa knew the odds weren’t in her favor. She must’ve had a sense that she didn’t have much time left, because although her treatment regimen was still working, she was getting ready to go. And reading Dying Well was critical to that process.

While I don’t recall much from our conversations about the book, I do remember thinking I should find a copy and read it. But I didn’t.

A few months later, right around Christmas, Lisa got sick. The end did come quickly, just as her doctor predicted. She died in February, two months before Easter.

Missed Opportunity

Some time after that, I requested Dying Well from the library. I skimmed the table of contents and flipped through the pages. I could see why it had been helpful to Lisa, but I just couldn’t get into it. So I sent it back and forgot about it.

Looking back, I wish I’d read Dying Well when Lisa was still alive. Nobody criticized me because I didn’t, but what if I had? How might that have encouraged my friend as she neared the end of her life?

I can’t answer that question for her, but I can for myself. When someone reads a book that touches me, simply because it has touched me, it shows me that they care, that they want to know me better, that they want to understand me.

The Golden Rule

For me, reading with those who read is real-life application of the Golden Rule, spelled out by Jesus in Luke 16:31: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

Most people find comfort in the pages of a book from time to time, but what would happen if we started thinking of reading as a way to comfort someone else?

I don’t know anyone who enjoys reading about death, abuse, cancer, depression, divorce or fill-in-the-blank. If these things don’t affect us, we’d rather pretend they don’t exist. But reading a book that has helped someone deal with a struggle we’ve not experienced can be extremely eye-opening.

Just Do It

When a friend mentions a meaningful book, we don’t have to proclaim that we’re going to get the book and read it. We can just do it, and bring it up later.

“I got that book you mentioned, you know, the one about …,” we can say. “I read it, and I couldn’t stop crying.” Or, “I read it, but I’m confused. Please tell me what it means to you.”

Every person wants to be known. This is tough enough in normal life, but it’s exponentially more complicated when someone is trudging through the valley of the shadow. If we haven’t been there, it’s hard to understand.

But while empathy is a true gift, comfort does come in other shapes and sizes.

A Bookish Kind of Comfort

For some, it looks a lot like spaghetti casserole, free childcare, or a two-hour phone conversation. For others, like me and perhaps you, comfort is rectangular, with an eye-catching cover and a couple hundred pages.

I missed my chance with Lisa. She doesn’t need to read books about dying anymore; she’s alive in the presence of the eternal Word.

But I’m still here, and so are you. We still have conversations with hurting friends. From time to time, they might mention books that are hitting right at the point of their need.

And maybe, that could be our cue.

Instead of smiling and wishing we had something profound to say, maybe we could find those books, and read with those who read.

♥ Lois

Reading a book that has helped someone deal with a struggle we’ve not experienced can be extremely eye-opening. Share on X For some people, like me and perhaps you, comfort is rectangular, with an eye-catching cover and a couple hundred pages. Share on X When someone reads a book that touches me, simply because it has touched me, it shows me that they care, that they want to understand me. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

18 comments
FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinEmail

Truth to Encourage You Through Your Next Uncertain Step

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: We might not know how our situations are going to turn out, but remembering these truths can bring us comfort and strength. ~

Truth doesn’t change, but I think it can grow on us and in us.

Over time, as we observe God working in our lives and in the lives of other people, truth settles into our minds and starts filling up the cracks in our souls. We start to understand—from scripture and by experience—that God’s ways are not our ways.

He is not bound by our expectations. He’s not obligated to fulfill our desires. His designs are perfect, but they often look nothing like ours.

That said, if you’re hungering for truth that will comfort your heart and strengthen you for your next uncertain step, I have some thoughts.

I don’t know if your situation is going to turn out how you want. It might get worse before it gets better. It might get worse instead of getting better. Whatever the case, this is what I want us both to remember.

God is Good

Yes, He is. But not just when our prayers are answered or something amazing happens in our lives.

We might look around at the awful things that happen in this world and wonder, How could a good God allow that? There’s no answering that question, not really. All we can do is take comfort in knowing that His goodness—which is as much a part of His character as His sovereignty—somehow permeates and informs everything He ordains and allows. Including those hard things that happen to us or our loved ones.

God is Faithful

God’s great faithfulness is a recurring theme throughout scripture. He is faithful when we are tempted. His faithfulness shields us. It extends from generation to generation. It is eternal and constant, even when our faith is weak or nonexistent.

Remembering this helps. It really does.

God Has a Purpose

For the overwhelming seasons we’re in, the specific trials we are struggling through, the difficult people who are in our lives—all of it. No matter how bleak things seem right now, this can be our hope and prayer: “The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me. Lord, Your love is eternal; do not abandon the work of Your hands.” (Psalm 138:8)

• • •

What biblical truths do you hold on to when you need strength for your next step? Please share in the comments.

♥ Lois

God's goodness—which is as much a part of His character as His sovereignty—somehow permeates and informs everything He ordains and allows. Share on X God's faithfulness shields us. It extends from generation to generation. It is eternal and constant, even when our faith is weak or nonexistent. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

18 comments
FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinEmail

This is My New Story and I’m Sticking to it

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: Have you ever shared an anecdote from your life that you later discovered wasn’t true? I have, and here’s what I learned from it. ~

My whole adult life, as far back as I can remember, I told a little story that went something like this.

I registered to vote before I turned 18 and voted for the first time—in a presidential election, no less—on my actual birthday. (This was before universal early voting was allowed in Kansas; until the law changed in 1995, everyone voted on Election Day unless they had a reason to vote absentee.)

I always thought it was cool that I had cast my first ballot for U.S. president on my 18th birthday. Naturally, I shared the story with my daughters when they were getting ready to vote, and with friends when election season was under way.

Unexpected Discovery

Last year, when Election Day once again fell on my birthday, I decided to see how many other times that had happened in my life. To my great shock, I discovered the story I had been telling all these years wasn’t true.

My birthday has been on Election Day a few times, but not in 1988, when I voted that first time.

I have no idea when I started telling this story, or why. I did experience some relational upheaval that same week of my teenage life, so maybe that affected my memory.

What I know for sure is this: All those years, I believed a lie. And I shared that lie with others, many times.

More Questions

I had no reason to think this memory wasn’t accurate, and yet, it wasn’t.

Not surprisingly, this brought up all sorts of questions for me. What else do I believe about my life that isn’t true? I share a lot of personal stories here on the blog as well as in real life; should I start questioning all of them too?

Upon further reflection, I’d say probably not. Going back to my years of news reporting, I’ve always tried to be as accurate as possible in my writing and speaking, and one incident doesn’t negate any of that.

Plus, memory is a complicated thing, even when everything else is working properly. If you’ve ever had a loved one with Alzheimer’s or some other kind of dementia, perhaps you’ve seen how misremembering works when disease is involved. It’s confusing, to say the least, and can lead to some troubling interactions.

Helpful Takeaways

My made-up story didn’t hurt anyone, so in the grand scheme of life, perhaps it’s not that big of a deal. But I still think there are a few helpful takeaways we can glean from it.

• We are not infallible, and neither are our memories.

• There’s a difference between purposeful deception and simple human error.

• Do your best to give grace to people who misremember. Don’t assume they are trying to pull the wool over your eyes.

• When you discover you were wrong about something, humbly offer an update. “I told you this the other day; I’ve since learned this.”

• If someone has a memory about situation that differs from yours, try this response: “I could be wrong, but this is how I remember it.”

• When in doubt about any of this, make Psalm 43:3 your regular prayer: “Send your light and your truth; let them lead me.”

What Really Happened

Speaking of truth, there have been two presidential elections on my birthday since I started voting—in 1996 and 2024. I don’t remember casting a ballot in the first one (though I probably did), and I voted early last year.

As for 1988, the election was on Nov. 8, several days after my birthday. I’m pretty sure I voted at city hall that day, but it could have been somewhere else.

That’s my new story and I’m sticking to it. (Unless someone gives me a good reason to do otherwise.)

• • •

Have you ever told a story that you later discovered wasn’t true? Did you learn anything from the experience? Please tell us about it in the comments.

♥ Lois

We are not infallible, and neither are our memories. Share on X When you discover you were wrong about something, humbly offer an update. 'I told you this the other day; I’ve since then learned this.' Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

16 comments
FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinEmail

Healing Takes Time and Energy

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: Everything—including writing—takes longer and requires more stamina these days. And I’m learning to be OK with this. ~

Here we are, two months after the day I got hit by a car while riding my bike.

I don’t remember the accident or much of that first week. But Randy remembers.

After receiving a call from my phone number with a stranger’s voice telling him to get to the hospital ASAP, he was by my side for all of it, talking with doctors and nurses and other medical people about what he might reasonably expect after such an event.

The possibilities were dire, let’s just put it that way.

Fortunately, none of the worst-case scenarios panned out. When friends come to visit, I’ve heard comments like, “You look much better than I was expecting.” One doctor I saw a few weeks ago even expressed amazement at how well I’m doing, given what happened to me.

I don’t know why the accident happened or why my life was spared, but I’ve been the recipient of one blessing after another though this whole process. Thankful doesn’t begin to describe how I feel about this.

At the same time, recovering from traumatic brain injury and a badly broken leg takes time. It’s not like healing from abdominal surgery, which I’ve done several times in my life.

Everything takes longer and requires more energy.

Follow up appointments. Physical therapy. Creating shopping lists. Showering. Walking up stairs.

Even writing thank-you notes for meals and other kindnesses has—at times—seemed overwhelming. So has writing pretty much anything else.

Here’s what I’m learning about this. The words will come when they come. There’s no need to rush or to hold myself to unrealistic expectations. (This lesson might be helpful for you too, perhaps about something besides words and writing.)

I’d like to get the thank-you notes done sooner rather than later. But right now, most of my energy is going toward healing and doing everyday tasks I took for granted before. Which means that other writing will fill in the cracks for a while.

Here on the blog, there may be weeks here and there when I don’t post anything. I hope to share a few pieces I wrote before my accident, and some from the archives that seem timely.

I have ideas for new content too, and while I don’t have a rigid schedule, I’m trusting those words will come when the time is right.

In the meantime, please know I’m thankful for you and hope your summer is off to a wonderful start!

♥ Lois

The words will come when they come. There’s no need to rush or to hold ourselves to unrealistic expectations. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

30 comments
FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinEmail

When It’s Hard to Understand God’s Sovereignty

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside:  Last week, I ended my thoughts about God’s sovereignty with the truth expressed in Romans 8:28—that in “all things God works for the good of those who love Him.” Let’s explore this further today. ~

If you’re anything like me, you might find the idea that God’s sovereignty encompasses “all things” a bit hard to grasp. Here’s how Chuck Swindoll describes it in his book, The Mystery of God’s Will:

“His plan includes all promotions and demotions. His plan can mean both adversity and prosperity, tragedy and calamity, ecstasy and joy. It envelopes illness as much as health, perilous times as much as comfort, safety, prosperity, and ease. His plan is at work when we cannot imagine why, because it is so unpleasant, as much as when the reason is clear and pleasant.

His sovereignty, though it is inscrutable, has dominion over all handicaps, all heartaches, all helpless moments. It is at work through all disappointments, broken dreams, and lingering difficulties. And even when we cannot fully fathom why, He knows.

Even when we cannot explain the reasons, He understands. And when we cannot see the end, He is there, nodding, “Yes, that is My plan.”

What in the World?

All the while, we’re sitting here scratching our heads, wondering what in the world is going on. Our human minds simply cannot comprehend God’s character, His behavior or His activity in our lives (or seeming lack thereof).

Try as we might, we just can’t do it.

This really shouldn’t come as a big surprise, however. The author of Ecclesiastes makes it very clear: “As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things” (Ecclesiastes 11:5).

And God Himself spells it out in big block letters for us: “ ‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts’ ” (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Psalm also 115:3 puts it bluntly: “Our God is in heaven; He does whatever pleases Him.”

God Answers to Nobody

Nothing takes Him by surprise or catches Him unaware. Nor is He not pacing the floor in the throne room, wracking His brain to figure out how in the world He’s going to solve our big problem.

Although He often chooses to use us to accomplish His work, He doesn’t need us for anything. He is the potter, and we are merely the clay (Isaiah 64:8). As such, He chooses the molds and uses whatever techniques He deems necessary to fashion us into the types of vessels He wants us to become.

Last week, we talked about how God gave Satan permission—up to a certain point—to wreak havoc in Job’s life. A righteous man, Job could not figure out why he was being made to suffer so greatly. For 35 chapters, he vacillates between listening to his friends offer their flawed explanations and begging God to show up and explain what’s going on.

God shows up eventually, but He offers no answers. He simply fires away a long series of questions that very effectively put Job in his place (Job 38-41).

Relaxing in God’s Sovereignty

God understands our need to know why we’re suffering—He made us, after all. He also understands our desire to know in advance how the story is going to end.

Sometimes He gives us a glimpse of the reasons and perhaps even a clue about the end result. But most of the time, He simply asks us to trust Him. He asks us to believe that He knows how the story ends—that no matter what happens, He will work it out for our ultimate good.

This is where I find myself right now; perhaps you do too.

I like to describe this process as “relaxing in God’s sovereignty.” I know those words don’t naturally go together—relaxation brings to mind peace, tranquility and solace, while sovereignty triggers thoughts of power, control, grandeur and majesty. Yet, what better place to be, than relaxing in the loving arms of the omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent Maker of the Universe.

When we’re relaxing in God’s sovereignty, we’re resting in the assurance that God knows what He’s doing.

Even when it doesn’t make one bit of sense to us.

♥ Lois

God isn't pacing the floor in the throne room, wracking His brain to figure out how in the world He’s going to solve our big problem. Share on X What better place to be than relaxing in the loving arms of the omnipotent Maker of the Universe. Share on X

Note: This post is adapted from my book Infertility: Finding God’s Peace in the Journey (Harvest House, 2003), available here.

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.n

16 comments
FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinEmail