Lois Flowers
Strength for Today • Hope for Tomorrow
  • Home
  • About
  • Help for Parent Loss
  • Free Devo & Newsletter
  • Editing Services
  • Contact
Author

Lois Flowers

Lois Flowers

Why Faith is Not the Opposite of Fear

by Lois Flowers April 12, 2016
by Lois Flowers

chair on porch“Faith is the opposite of fear.”

“Faith and fear cannot occupy the same space.”

I’ve been running across such phrases lately, but the more I hear them, the less inclined I am to think they tell the whole story.

The thing about opposites is that they are concrete and clearly defined. Up is the opposite of down. Hot is the opposite of cold. Crooked is the opposite of straight. Right is the opposite of wrong.

Fear is a feeling. If a feeling can have an opposite, it would have to be another feeling. Like happy and sad, perhaps.

Faith is a choice. It’s not some kind of feeling that flows from believing; it’s the decision to believe. For me, that’s a huge distinction.

I’m not suggesting that choices don’t have opposites. I can love or I can hate. I can forgive or I can hold a grudge. Those are clear and opposite alternatives.

But connecting faith (a choice) to fear (a feeling) in some sort of either-or scenario is not very helpful, especially for people who battle anxiety or whose personalities don’t lend themselves to bold emotional expressions. As a woman who sometimes struggles with body chemicals that negatively affect my emotions, I can vouch for this.

When I can physically feel anxiety coursing through my veins—simply because of a change in my hormone levels and not because I’m facing anything particularly troubling or difficult—I don’t stop believing God loves me. I don’t stop trusting that He will make a way for me or help me overcome my anxiousness.

If anything, I hang on to those beliefs even more in those moments. The feelings of fear associated with anxiety come and go, but my faith remains. And to suggest otherwise can lead to feelings of guilt and unworthiness that are usually unwarranted.

Here’s the thing. Faith is not reciting affirmations or thinking warm thoughts about God. It’s not crying tears of joy in a worship service or giving a bold testimony in front of a huge crowd (though those can be expressions of faith for some people).

At the moment of salvation, faith is a gift from God—wholly unearned and undeserved (Ephesians 2:8-9).

After that, it’s choosing to believe what God’s Word says about Him, even when we haven’t sensed His presence in a long, long time.

It’s choosing to trust God when it hurts, when it makes no sense, when we cannot see Him working.

It’s acting on what’s right—on what we know God wants us to do—even if we are half scared out of our minds to do it.

It’s taking that first step, then the next, then the next.

You can’t tell me that Daniel and his friends Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego weren’t absolutely terrified when confronted with the pack of hungry lions or the super-hot furnace. But they believed God was with them, and they acted on that. They didn’t let their fear keep them from doing what was right.

The Israelites, on the other hand, weren’t banned from entering the Promised Land because they were afraid of the giants there. They were banned because they refused to enter when God told them to go. Their fear didn’t reveal their lack of faith, their inaction did.

When I’m afraid or anxious, the promise of 2 Timothy 1:7 gives me strength and hope: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

Not too long ago, I noticed something about this verse that I’d never considered before. In describing what God gives us instead of fear, there’s no mention of faith.

Power? Yes. Love? Check. A sound mind? Definitely very helpful. But nothing about faith.

Maybe that’s because faith is not the opposite of fear.

Nor is it the absence of fear.

It’s a choice that guides our actions.

♥ Lois

Faith is a choice. It’s not some kind of feeling that flows from believing; it’s the decision to believe. Share on X The feelings of fear associated with anxiety come and go, but my faith remains. And to suggest otherwise can lead to feelings of guilt and unworthiness that are usually unwarranted. Share on X
April 12, 2016 46 comments
FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinEmail

When Grace Interrupted My Pity Party

by Lois Flowers April 5, 2016
by Lois Flowers

Last week, I wrote about dying to self and how this many-layered theological concept became personal to me during a stressful time of my life. Now, I explain how an unexpected epiphany brought hope and freedom to my dry heart—and just might do the same for you.

Dying to self

I continued thinking about dying to self as the months went by. We even started talking about it as a family. We called it “DTS-ing” for short, referring to unselfish acts like choosing the smaller cookie or letting someone else go first—intentional efforts to put others ahead of our own desires, even for the little things.

Continue Reading
April 5, 2016 32 comments
FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinEmail

Song of the Month: “Take Me Back”

by Lois Flowers April 3, 2016
by Lois Flowers

Song of the month header 1

We have a little Easter tradition around here that I absolutely love. We do the Resurrection Eggs and go to church and think about the empty tomb, which of course is what this most special of Days is all about.

Continue Reading

April 3, 2016 8 comments
FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinEmail

One Way to Bring Life to Someone Else

by Lois Flowers March 29, 2016
by Lois Flowers

Dying to self 3What does it mean to die to self?

The question—posed several years ago during a small-group discussion—was one I had never seriously considered.

The image of someone jumping in front of a bus to save another person immediately sprang to mind, but I suspected the meaning was more figurative than literal.

The scriptural context was 2 Corinthians 4:10-12, which says:

“We always carry the death of Jesus in our body, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who live are always given over to death because of Jesus, so that Jesus’ life may also be revealed in our mortal flesh. So death works in us, but life in you.”

I had always sort of skipped over these verses, what with all the repeated words about life and death and mortal flesh. I understood the connection to the one-time event of salvation, but that night, I started thinking about how “death” in me could result in life for someone else.

That season of my life included significant amounts of change and stress. Though it all, I struggled with irritability. I often reacted rather than responded. I frequently failed to demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit in how I interacted with my daughters, who were then about 10 and 7 years old.

As I contemplated dying to self through the lens of my own struggles, Jesus’ words in John 10:10 came to mind:

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”

I thought about my words, my tone and my attitude. I considered the power they have to impact other people, even if it’s just the people in my house.

Do my attitudes and my thoughts bring life to others? I asked myself. When I respond to my children, are my words bringing life to their hearts and minds, or are my words and tone speaking death to them?

I know the theological concept of dying to self is multi-faceted and many layered, but this was what convicted me during that conversation. When every fiber my being wants respond in irritation and frustration—because I’m stressed, tired, hormonal or whatever—it is possible for me to die to myself so that someone else can experience life—full, whole, complete life.

I can choose kind, gentle and loving words instead of going with my human desire to be irritable. I can put someone else’s need for my presence above my own need to be alone.

Don’t get me wrong—it’s not easy. It actually can be quite hard, especially for someone who has been running on irritable for a long time.

There are many times when I don’t do it, even now.

But I can do it.  It is possible.

The day after our small group talked about dying to self, Lilly—who was in fourth grade at the time—asked me if I would come to school and have lunch with her. I tried to do that regularly back then, gamely braving a noisy lunchroom full of highly spirited kids because she wanted me to be there.

That particular morning, though, I was even more tired than usual. I had already come for lunch once that week, and I didn’t really want to do it again so soon.

“No, not today, honey,” I told her as she got out of the car.

She was OK with that, but no sooner had I driven out of the parking lot than the words from the night before started running through my head: die to self, die to self, die to self.

Oh, all RIGHT, I frumped. I get the message. I’ll go to school for lunch today!

When I got there later, I went to the fourth-grade wet area to find Lilly. One glance at her face told me something was terribly wrong.

A friend had been unkind and her feelings were hurt.

In a way that nobody but God could have predicted, she needed her mom right then, and there I was.

We retreated to the bathroom, where hugs and a few soft words soothed her feelings. She usually invited a friend join us for lunch, but this time, she and I sat at a table in the wet area—just the two of us—and ate our lunches. I pulled a deck of cards out of my purse, and by the time her classmates came back, she was fine.

It was a small thing, but it made a huge impression on me—one that lingers to this day.

(That’s not all I learned about dying to self during that season of my life, by the way. Next week, I’ll share about an unexpected epiphany that touched the deepest parts of my faith.)

♥ Lois

March 29, 2016 20 comments
FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinEmail

Between a Hard Week and a Most Glorious Sunday

by Lois Flowers March 26, 2016
by Lois Flowers

When your 22nd wedding anniversary falls on the day before Easter, at the end of yet another week of scary news headlines, it’s hard to know how to commemorate the occasion on your blog (especially if you don’t normally post on Saturdays or spend a lot of time writing about marriage).

sunrise cross

Sometimes, though, it’s OK to forget about what may or may not be appropriate blogging behavior and just go with your heart. And as I look forward to celebrating our risen Savior tomorrow, my heart says to post this today.

• • • • •

Randy has been talking for a long time about replacing his wedding ring with a tattoo. His gold ring itches, he says, and he’s constantly taking it off and rubbing his finger.

Continue Reading
March 26, 2016 6 comments
FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinEmail

When the Scorned Becomes the Blessing

by Lois Flowers March 22, 2016
by Lois Flowers

black-eyed susansMy love of gardening began germinating a couple of decades ago. We had moved into a new house with a great space for a flowerbed by the front door, so I ordered a bunch of perennials from a mail-order catalog to help fill it up.

Plants were much cheaper back then, which is why I was able to purchase six black-eyed Susan plants for about $12. The heavy clay Arkansas soil must have agreed with them, because in a few years, they had expanded so much they practically took over the entire garden.

That might not have been a bad thing had they been a different color, but I’m not overly fond of yellow-orange.

Plus, someone I admired once referred to black-eyed Susans as a weed. And for some reason, I adopted her attitude instead of agreeing with the opinion of a different friend who considered black-eyed Susans to be her favorite flower.

So I dug them all up and replanted the huge clumps on the bare west side of the house where they would get plenty of sun. Soon, they were so big that I’m pretty sure you could see them from space.

Eventually, I got so sick of looking at them that I gave them all to another friend, who happily transplanted them in her own yard. And I vowed I would never have black-eyed Susans in my flowerbeds again.

I kept my promise at our next new house, but when we moved to Kansas in 2006, the home we bought had some black-eyed Susans gracing its existing flower borders. I didn’t have the heart to get rid of them, and they were more contained in the slightly less hospitable Kansas climate, so I let them be.

Several years later, we moved into our current home, a fixer-upper surrounded by expansive, mostly bare garden areas. Our first summer there was a scorcher. The backyard, which consisted of a large, neglected swimming pool and flagstone patio surrounded on three sides by a huge flower border, was a jungle of weeds and thorny hedge trees.

It was too hot to do anything back there and even if it had been cooler, I had no energy for gardening during that exhausting season of my life. But despite my complete lack of attention, there were a few bright spots of color on the patio, including—you guessed it—a black-eyed Susan plant sprouting out of a drain hole near the pool.

There it was—in a mass jungle of weeds, in the midst of the worst drought in decades— growing happily. And every time I saw it, it made me smile.

The irony wasn’t lost on me. The scorned had become the blessing.

A few summers later, I moved that plant to a more appropriate spot, only to find that the rabbits that frequented my now-thriving flowerbeds enjoyed eating it as much as I enjoyed looking at it. I tried all kinds of rabbit repellents, but nothing deterred these persistent creatures.

Which is why, the following spring, I found myself cutting out a length of chicken wire to go around this vulnerable little black-eyed Susan clump. How could I not protect this thing that had brought me so much joy during such a parched season?

The moral of the story is this: Sometimes, the things we turn our noses up during one season of life are the very things that bring us the most joy later.

♥ Lois

March 22, 2016 20 comments
FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinEmail
  • 1
  • …
  • 76
  • 77
  • 78
  • 79
  • 80
  • …
  • 95

Welcome

Welcome

As long as we’re here on planet Earth, God has a good purpose for us. This is true no matter how old we are, what we feel on any given day or what we imagine anyone else thinks about us. It can be a struggle, though, to believe this and live like it. It requires divine strength and eternal hope. And so I write, one pilgrim to another, in an effort to encourage us both as we navigate the long walk home together.

Newsletter

Sign up for my email newsletter and receive soul-bolstering encouragement, personal updates and a 7-day devotional, Faith, Fear, and the God Who Goes Before Us.


Click Here to Subscribe

Keep in touch

Twitter Instagram Linkedin Youtube Email

Follow Blog via Email

Click to follow this blog and receive notification of new posts by email.

Recent Posts

  • What to Remember When You’re Anxious about the Road Ahead
  • We Didn’t Understand Then, but We Do Now
  • When Our Hard Seasons Make Us Better Encouragers
  • A Helpful Lesson from the High School Parking Lot
  • It’s OK to Be Specific When You Pray

SEARCH

Archives

Categories

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

© 2026 Lois Flowers. All rights reserved. "Soledad" theme designed by PenciDesign.


Back To Top
Lois Flowers
  • Home
  • About
  • Help for Parent Loss
  • Free Devo & Newsletter
  • Editing Services
  • Contact