Author

Lois Flowers

This is My New Story and I’m Sticking to it

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: Have you ever shared an anecdote from your life that you later discovered wasn’t true? I have, and here’s what I learned from it. ~

My whole adult life, as far back as I can remember, I told a little story that went something like this.

I registered to vote before I turned 18 and voted for the first time—in a presidential election, no less—on my actual birthday. (This was before universal early voting was allowed in Kansas; until the law changed in 1995, everyone voted on Election Day unless they had a reason to vote absentee.)

I always thought it was cool that I had cast my first ballot for U.S. president on my 18th birthday. Naturally, I shared the story with my daughters when they were getting ready to vote, and with friends when election season was under way.

Unexpected Discovery

Last year, when Election Day once again fell on my birthday, I decided to see how many other times that had happened in my life. To my great shock, I discovered the story I had been telling all these years wasn’t true.

My birthday has been on Election Day a few times, but not in 1988, when I voted that first time.

I have no idea when I started telling this story, or why. I did experience some relational upheaval that same week of my teenage life, so maybe that affected my memory.

What I know for sure is this: All those years, I believed a lie. And I shared that lie with others, many times.

More Questions

I had no reason to think this memory wasn’t accurate, and yet, it wasn’t.

Not surprisingly, this brought up all sorts of questions for me. What else do I believe about my life that isn’t true? I share a lot of personal stories here on the blog as well as in real life; should I start questioning all of them too?

Upon further reflection, I’d say probably not. Going back to my years of news reporting, I’ve always tried to be as accurate as possible in my writing and speaking, and one incident doesn’t negate any of that.

Plus, memory is a complicated thing, even when everything else is working properly. If you’ve ever had a loved one with Alzheimer’s or some other kind of dementia, perhaps you’ve seen how misremembering works when disease is involved. It’s confusing, to say the least, and can lead to some troubling interactions.

Helpful Takeaways

My made-up story didn’t hurt anyone, so in the grand scheme of life, perhaps it’s not that big of a deal. But I still think there are a few helpful takeaways we can glean from it.

• We are not infallible, and neither are our memories.

• There’s a difference between purposeful deception and simple human error.

• Do your best to give grace to people who misremember. Don’t assume they are trying to pull the wool over your eyes.

• When you discover you were wrong about something, humbly offer an update. “I told you this the other day; I’ve since learned this.”

• If someone has a memory about situation that differs from yours, try this response: “I could be wrong, but this is how I remember it.”

• When in doubt about any of this, make Psalm 43:3 your regular prayer: “Send your light and your truth; let them lead me.”

What Really Happened

Speaking of truth, there have been two presidential elections on my birthday since I started voting—in 1996 and 2024. I don’t remember casting a ballot in the first one (though I probably did), and I voted early last year.

As for 1988, the election was on Nov. 8, several days after my birthday. I’m pretty sure I voted at city hall that day, but it could have been somewhere else.

That’s my new story and I’m sticking to it. (Unless someone gives me a good reason to do otherwise.)

• • •

Have you ever told a story that you later discovered wasn’t true? Did you learn anything from the experience? Please tell us about it in the comments.

♥ Lois

We are not infallible, and neither are our memories. Share on X When you discover you were wrong about something, humbly offer an update. 'I told you this the other day; I’ve since then learned this.' Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

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Healing Takes Time and Energy

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: Everything—including writing—takes longer and requires more stamina these days. And I’m learning to be OK with this. ~

Here we are, two months after the day I got hit by a car while riding my bike.

I don’t remember the accident or much of that first week. But Randy remembers.

After receiving a call from my phone number with a stranger’s voice telling him to get to the hospital ASAP, he was by my side for all of it, talking with doctors and nurses and other medical people about what he might reasonably expect after such an event.

The possibilities were dire, let’s just put it that way.

Fortunately, none of the worst-case scenarios panned out. When friends come to visit, I’ve heard comments like, “You look much better than I was expecting.” One doctor I saw a few weeks ago even expressed amazement at how well I’m doing, given what happened to me.

I don’t know why the accident happened or why my life was spared, but I’ve been the recipient of one blessing after another though this whole process. Thankful doesn’t begin to describe how I feel about this.

At the same time, recovering from traumatic brain injury and a badly broken leg takes time. It’s not like healing from abdominal surgery, which I’ve done several times in my life.

Everything takes longer and requires more energy.

Follow up appointments. Physical therapy. Creating shopping lists. Showering. Walking up stairs.

Even writing thank-you notes for meals and other kindnesses has—at times—seemed overwhelming. So has writing pretty much anything else.

Here’s what I’m learning about this. The words will come when they come. There’s no need to rush or to hold myself to unrealistic expectations. (This lesson might be helpful for you too, perhaps about something besides words and writing.)

I’d like to get the thank-you notes done sooner rather than later. But right now, most of my energy is going toward healing and doing everyday tasks I took for granted before. Which means that other writing will fill in the cracks for a while.

Here on the blog, there may be weeks here and there when I don’t post anything. I hope to share a few pieces I wrote before my accident, and some from the archives that seem timely.

I have ideas for new content too, and while I don’t have a rigid schedule, I’m trusting those words will come when the time is right.

In the meantime, please know I’m thankful for you and hope your summer is off to a wonderful start!

♥ Lois

The words will come when they come. There’s no need to rush or to hold ourselves to unrealistic expectations. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

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When It’s Hard to Understand God’s Sovereignty

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside:  Last week, I ended my thoughts about God’s sovereignty with the truth expressed in Romans 8:28—that in “all things God works for the good of those who love Him.” Let’s explore this further today. ~

If you’re anything like me, you might find the idea that God’s sovereignty encompasses “all things” a bit hard to grasp. Here’s how Chuck Swindoll describes it in his book, The Mystery of God’s Will:

“His plan includes all promotions and demotions. His plan can mean both adversity and prosperity, tragedy and calamity, ecstasy and joy. It envelopes illness as much as health, perilous times as much as comfort, safety, prosperity, and ease. His plan is at work when we cannot imagine why, because it is so unpleasant, as much as when the reason is clear and pleasant.

His sovereignty, though it is inscrutable, has dominion over all handicaps, all heartaches, all helpless moments. It is at work through all disappointments, broken dreams, and lingering difficulties. And even when we cannot fully fathom why, He knows.

Even when we cannot explain the reasons, He understands. And when we cannot see the end, He is there, nodding, “Yes, that is My plan.”

What in the World?

All the while, we’re sitting here scratching our heads, wondering what in the world is going on. Our human minds simply cannot comprehend God’s character, His behavior or His activity in our lives (or seeming lack thereof).

Try as we might, we just can’t do it.

This really shouldn’t come as a big surprise, however. The author of Ecclesiastes makes it very clear: “As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things” (Ecclesiastes 11:5).

And God Himself spells it out in big block letters for us: “ ‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts’ ” (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Psalm also 115:3 puts it bluntly: “Our God is in heaven; He does whatever pleases Him.”

God Answers to Nobody

Nothing takes Him by surprise or catches Him unaware. Nor is He not pacing the floor in the throne room, wracking His brain to figure out how in the world He’s going to solve our big problem.

Although He often chooses to use us to accomplish His work, He doesn’t need us for anything. He is the potter, and we are merely the clay (Isaiah 64:8). As such, He chooses the molds and uses whatever techniques He deems necessary to fashion us into the types of vessels He wants us to become.

Last week, we talked about how God gave Satan permission—up to a certain point—to wreak havoc in Job’s life. A righteous man, Job could not figure out why he was being made to suffer so greatly. For 35 chapters, he vacillates between listening to his friends offer their flawed explanations and begging God to show up and explain what’s going on.

God shows up eventually, but He offers no answers. He simply fires away a long series of questions that very effectively put Job in his place (Job 38-41).

Relaxing in God’s Sovereignty

God understands our need to know why we’re suffering—He made us, after all. He also understands our desire to know in advance how the story is going to end.

Sometimes He gives us a glimpse of the reasons and perhaps even a clue about the end result. But most of the time, He simply asks us to trust Him. He asks us to believe that He knows how the story ends—that no matter what happens, He will work it out for our ultimate good.

This is where I find myself right now; perhaps you do too.

I like to describe this process as “relaxing in God’s sovereignty.” I know those words don’t naturally go together—relaxation brings to mind peace, tranquility and solace, while sovereignty triggers thoughts of power, control, grandeur and majesty. Yet, what better place to be, than relaxing in the loving arms of the omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent Maker of the Universe.

When we’re relaxing in God’s sovereignty, we’re resting in the assurance that God knows what He’s doing.

Even when it doesn’t make one bit of sense to us.

♥ Lois

God isn't pacing the floor in the throne room, wracking His brain to figure out how in the world He’s going to solve our big problem. Share on X What better place to be than relaxing in the loving arms of the omnipotent Maker of the Universe. Share on X

Note: This post is adapted from my book Infertility: Finding God’s Peace in the Journey (Harvest House, 2003), available here.

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.n

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Our Anchor in Every Storm

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: When we’re in seasons marked by pain, struggle or unanswered questions, it’s helpful to remember foundational theological principles that have anchored us in the past. Like the truth of God’s sovereignty, which I first wrote about a few decades ago. ~

When I was in elementary school, one of my Sunday school teachers taught a lesson that made a huge impression on my young mind.

He introduced his students to some deep principles about God—namely, that He is omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent.

To this day, I remember what those words mean: that God is everywhere at once (omnipresent), all-knowing (omniscient), and all-powerful (omnipotent). Said differently, God is present everywhere, He knows everything, and He is in control of everything.

God is Sovereign

That—in a very lofty sounding nutshell—is what God’s sovereignty is all about. The fact that God is sovereign means that nothing happens to me, to you or in the world that does not pass through His hands first.

He is in charge, even when a fatal disease strikes a young mother of four, when an accident puts a vibrant teenage athlete in a wheelchair, when a loving grandma is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, when disease destroys a woman’s fertility, when an unfaithful spouse refuses to repent.

And yes, as I’ve been processing lately, when a car runs a red light and hits someone on a bike in a crosswalk.

Many of these horrible things are a direct result of the evil that pervades our fallen world. But somehow—and I make no claim to understanding how or why—not one of them occurs without His permission.

Consider Job

Remember Job, the Old Testament hero who suffered such great loss and yet refused to forsake his faith? Before Satan took away Job’s business, his family and his health, he had to ask God for permission. God gave it, but He also set certain boundaries that Satan was forbidden to cross (Job 1:12; 2:6).

Satan was allowed to wreak havoc on Job’s life for a time, but God was in complete control throughout the process. Job himself acknowledged this near the end of his book. “I know that you can do all things,” he told God, “no plan of yours can be thwarted” (Job 42:2).

God sees what we can’t see. He knows what we don’t know. He sees the big picture, while we only know what’s going on in our little world.

While we’re dealing with our day-to-day and possibly life-altering struggles (whatever they might be), He already knows the outcome. He knows when they will end, how they will end, and what will happen next.

And, in some inexplicable way, He’s in charge of the whole process—from start to finish.

Joseph’s Story

This brings to mind Joseph, another Old Testament hero who was able to recognize that God’s purposes had been fulfilled through his suffering. Joseph’s brothers, you may recall, sold him into slavery when he was a teenager.

Years later, Joseph became the second most powerful man in Egypt. As such, he was responsible for preparing the country for an upcoming famine and for managing the distribution of the stored food during the famine.

He was reunited with his brothers when they came to Egypt in search of grain. Naturally, they were afraid he would seek revenge on them for what they had done to him so long ago. But their fears were unfounded.

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives,” Joseph told them (Genesis 50:20).

All Things

This story is a great example of God’s amazing ability to “make silk purses out of sows’ ears,” as the saying goes. The Apostle Paul restates this thought in the form of a promise: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

All things means just that. Everything. No exceptions. No exclusions.

But what exactly does that look like in real life? Please join me again next week as we dig into this topic a little bit more.

♥ Lois

God already knows when our trials will end, how they will end, and what will happen next. Share on X

Note: This post is adapted from my book Infertility: Finding God’s Peace in the Journey (Harvest House, 2003), available here.

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

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What Happened

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: I’ve been away from this space for a few weeks, and this is why. ~

I had big plans for April.

Projects to do. Words to write. Weeds to pull. People to see.

You know how it goes.

Then on March 25, I ate breakfast and hopped on my bike for my morning ride. The next thing I remember is being in a hospital room a few days later.

According to eye witnesses that Tuesday morning, I stopped at an intersection, pushed the walk button, waited for the signal to turn green, checked to make sure no cars were coming and started across the road on my bike.

I never saw the Subaru that ran the red light and hit me in the crosswalk.

No, my plans for this spring did not include spending 19 days in various hospitals with brain trauma, skull and neck fractures and a broken leg that required emergency surgery.

That statement seems so blunt and dramatic. But sometimes, I’m learning, you have to say what happened before you can say anything else.

I’ve missed being here every week. At the same time, the healing process has been far more taxing than I ever imagined it could be.

The good news is that I am improving. I don’t always think so, but the friends and family members who see me regularly assure me that I am.

I haven’t done much of anything these last few weeks at home except read books on the couch, receive loving care from Randy, eat meals provided by neighbors and struggle to accomplish tasks that seemed second nature before.

I don’t know how all this is going to turn out or how long it will take.

I do have peace, though. I do believe God is with me and has gone before me every step of the way.

Perhaps more than anything else, I’m incredibly thankful.

I’m guessing each one of those sentences will become its own blog post at some point. Until then, I’m resting in the words of the old hymn I heard over Easter weekend, and I invite you to join me too.

“I hear the Savior say, thy strength indeed is small, child of weakness, watch and pray, find in Me thine all in all.”

♥ Lois

I don’t know how all this is going to turn out or how long it will take. I do have peace, though. I do believe God is with me and has gone before me every step of the way. Share on X

Note: The beautiful yellow flowers in the photo above arrived at my home on April 25, one month after the accident. As my mother-in-law said in the accompanying card, “It could have been so bad, but God is so good.” Amen to that!

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

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When Trouble Brings Growth (for Our Children and for Us)

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: We don’t like to see our kids struggle. But God often uses the hard and hurtful stuff to direct their steps and build their character, no matter how old they are. ~

When children are little, it’s fairly easy to manage much of what they do, see and hear. As parents, we are the primary gatekeepers for what reaches them. And though bad influences can and sometimes do creep in, it’s not so hard to quash them.

The older they get, however, the more they start to think for themselves. This is as it should be, but the thoughts they start thinking don’t always line up with the thoughts we may want them to think.

They also start to experience more struggles—issues with friends, unmet expectations, problems in school, emotional swings, physical pain, and so on.

I didn’t worry about all these scenarios when my girls were younger, but a few of them had the potential to send me into orbit.

Worrisome What-ifs

Once when I was particularly spun up—to the point of extrapolating my fears into ridiculous future outcomes—I heard a sermon that transformed my thinking about the matter. One of the elders at my church was preaching about God’s sovereignty and used an experience from his daughter’s childhood to illustrate how God brings good from bad.

His daughter suffered an injury when she was younger that led to years of pain and difficult rehabilitation. As he talked about how her interactions with caring medical professionals later led her to become a nurse, I had an a-ha moment.

Would God have put our family together the way He did—by allowing us to bring home two very specific babies from China at two different times—just to disappear from our lives when the going got a bit rough? I asked myself.

And are any struggles they may have—in any area—enough to negate the plans He has for their lives, whatever they may entail?

God’s Tools

The answer to both, of course, is absolutely not. In fact, those struggles might be the very tools He uses to form my daughters into what He designed them to be before they were ever born.

Struggles build character. They force perseverance. They foster patience. They develop compassion.

All I have to do is look at my own life for proof.

I was a good kid. I followed all the “rules.” But back then, my faith walk was more of a “works walk.” My being a Christian was more about what I did or didn’t do than a personal relationship with Jesus.

I’m not necessarily complaining about this. I’m grateful for the pain I may have been spared because I was so strictly adhering to my do-not-do list.

Impetus for Spiritual Growth

But it wasn’t until I was an adult that I experienced anything close to what you might call spiritual growth. And you know what brought on those growth spurts?

It was trouble. It took on various forms, but no matter the trial, it was during those times when I started learning what it means to walk by faith and not by sight, what it means to die to myself so that others may experience life, what it means to live like Jesus is enough.

(Notice I said “started learning.” This is an ongoing process, sometimes marked by progress, sometimes by the exact opposite.)

Even So …

As a mom, I still wish there was some way for my children to avoid all that trouble and struggle. I’d prefer to shield them from pain and loss and challenging math problems. Not just because I don’t want them to hurt, but because—many times—it is also easier for me.

Avoiding trouble isn’t necessarily best for my girls, however—or for your kids, if you have them.

This might make us moms cringe a bit, because we don’t know what kinds of trouble may be in store for our sons and daughters, especially after they leave home.

God is Still Working

We will always be our children’s parents and will never stop loving and praying for them. But there is a Power much greater than us at work in them. And that should bring us comfort and hope—no matter how old they are.

If they are believers, God—their heavenly Father—is with them. He is for them. He loves them unconditionally.

None of that changes when they become teenagers, go off to college, get married or turn 21 (or 35 or 50). Nor will it ever change, for them, for me or for you.

♥ Lois

Some of our kids’ struggles may be very the tools God uses to form them into what He designed them to be before they were ever born. Share on X If our children are believers, God—their heavenly Father—is with them. He is for them. He loves them unconditionally. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

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