Changed for Good

by Lois Flowers

Several years ago, our basement flooded when our sump pump failed during a period of heavy rain. The remediation company spent a few days cleaning up the mess, and then Randy got to work, tearing down walls and remodeling our basement in a way that actually made it better than it was before.

When I went downstairs, I didn’t think about the old, waterlogged carpet. I didn’t feel a single twinge of nostalgia for the door that no longer existed between the stairs and the family room. I was happy to be done with the old, and thinking about it caused me no pain at all.

It was, as the remediation company’s slogan proclaims, “Like it never even happened.”

Wouldn’t it be nice if all of life were like that? If we could get through grief, trials and hard seasons, turn a sharp corner one day and leave it all behind?

That’s not how it works, of course. Although most of us eventually find ways to move forward, “getting over it” can be complicated, if it’s an option at all.

I’ve often wondered how this worked for Job. Perhaps more than anyone else in the Old Testament, he’s the person we hold up as an example when we talk about suffering, right?

We like to focus on how he didn’t forsake God, despite a series of excruciating losses the likes of which most of us will never experience. We marvel at his faithfulness, especially since he didn’t have any idea what was going on behind the curtain of heaven—that he was basically an involuntary player in a supernatural deal that Satan struck with God.

The thing about Job that nobody talks about, or at least nobody I’ve ever heard, is the very significant fact that when his life came back after his season of intense suffering, it didn’t negate the fact that he had still lost everything.

He suffered financially, of course, but I’m mostly thinking of all his children—seven sons and three daughters, to be exact.

Yes, “the Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part.” (Job 42:12) And certainly, that included more children (another seven sons and three extremely beautiful daughters, according to Job 42:13 and 15).

But you don’t just get over losing 10 children. How could you?

The Bible doesn’t elaborate on this part of the story, and I’m not normally one to read between the lines of scripture a whole lot. I don’t think, however, that it would be too much of a stretch to imagine that Job was profoundly affected by the sudden deaths of all his offspring.

He was human, after all. And loss changes us humans. Often for the better, but also in ways that hurt and leave scars and alter certain parts of our personalities and lives.

Perhaps it would be helpful to keep this in mind as we ponder the future—both immediate and long-term.

My belief in the sovereignty of God assures me that whatever we are facing right now—in our global and local communities and also personally, in the very minutest of details—will work out for our good. But our idea of good and God’s idea of good might turn out to be vastly different things.

I’m not thinking of anything specific here. I’m not a prophet, a theologian or an analyst.

But what I told my girls when Covid-19 was just beginning to force cancellations applies now, more than ever: We have to hold things loosely.

Our expectations. Our plans. Our resources. Our loved ones.

Everything.

Clearly, this was Job’s approach to life. There’s no other explanation for the way he responded to all the terrible reports he received one devastating day, culminating with the news that all his children had died.

The scriptures tell us he “stood up, tore his robe, and shaved his head.” Then “he fell to the ground and worshiped, saying: ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will leave this life. The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:20-21)

When we come out on the other side of Covid-19—not to mention whatever other trials and tribulations the coming years hold—there’s a good chance most of us will have changed in some way or another.

In varying ways and degrees, for better or for worse, we will be different.

I’m hoping for better—for myself, for my loved ones, for you.

I’m hoping we notice and appreciate our many blessings more than we did before. That we have become more willing (and able) to comfort and encourage the people around us. And that eternity is more solidly fixed in our hearts, making a difference in how we live the next 24 hours.

♥ Lois

We have to hold things loosely. Our expectations. Our plans. Our resources. Our loved ones. Everything. Click To Tweet I’m hoping that eternity is more solidly fixed in our hearts, making a difference in how we live the next 24 hours. Click To Tweet

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Purposeful Faith, #TellHisStory, InstaEncouragements, Recharge Wednesday, #HeartEncouragement, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

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28 comments

Jennifer Smith May 17, 2020 - 1:53 pm

Certainly I will have been impacted/changed by this pandemic…and I pray it will be for good – and for His glory. Goodness, what a waste it would have been. I am sure that God does not intend for these days to be a waste. Wise and helpful words here – thanks!!

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Lois Flowers May 18, 2020 - 4:26 pm

Thanks so much, Jennifer. Wasn’t it Rick Warren who said, “God never wastes a hurt?” Phew … I’m so thankful for that!

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Mary Geisen May 16, 2020 - 7:27 pm

This is such an important post. Life, as we know it, has changed and it will not look the same on the other side of this pandemic.

You summed up how I feel in these words —> I’m hoping we notice and appreciate our many blessings more than we did before. That we have become more willing (and able) to comfort and encourage the people around us. And that eternity is more solidly fixed in our hearts, making a difference in how we live the next 24 hours.

Amen!

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Lois Flowers May 17, 2020 - 12:02 pm

Thanks, Mary. Reading your words every week has been helping me notice things I had missed before … such a blessing! Hugs, friend.

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Linda Stoll May 14, 2020 - 6:56 pm

Lois, thanks for the grace to remind us all that this isn’t something we’ll simply ‘get over.’

Folks who spout that advice are usually fairly uncompassionate and unrealistic.

But changed? Oh yes, each and every one of us. Hopefully we will be wiser, kinder, more generous, holding all in open hands.

Thanks for going there today, friend … and for the other beautifully encouraging words you’ve offered me recently.

Bless you!

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Lois Flowers May 15, 2020 - 9:06 pm

Oh Linda … there are so many story lines being written during this strange season, aren’t there? I’m so grateful that our Heavenly Father knows each of us so intimately and is committed to guiding us through to the other side. Hugs, dear friend.

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Bethany McIlrath May 13, 2020 - 5:59 pm

So much wisdom here. I’ve always wondered about Job’s life after the big trial he faced- we know God blesses him tremendously but he still must ha grieved and lived differently! I appreciate the reminder to hold things loosely especially. I don’t want to come out of this whole time in my life or in history unchanged. May God find our hearts fertile soil for his work! Hugs friend!

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Lois Flowers May 15, 2020 - 9:02 pm

Amen, Bethany! Praying for you, friend …

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Susan Shipe May 13, 2020 - 1:02 pm

Lois, I really like your balanced, common sense look at this C19 mess. I agree with every word you said. I never want to hold on so tightly that I miss the eternal that God is working on/in. Great post, friend.

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Lois Flowers May 15, 2020 - 8:59 pm

Thanks so much, Susan. I’ve been reading through the Psalms lately, and I’ve been so been encouraged by the numerous reminders of Who’s really in charge of the universe. 🙂

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Elena Wiggins May 13, 2020 - 7:49 am

Holding things loosely is such an important reminder for me since I love to have some kind of control or awareness of what will happen. I do it through schedules and plans and organizing, but in uncertain times like these, those will often fail. I love the visual I heard years ago: Its ok to have plans, but hold them loosely in your hands in an open palm so that God can move things around or taken them out and place something else in there. When we tightly close our hands into a fist, trying to control what we do, we are telling God, I don’t trust You and I would rather do it my way than Yours. Ouch, that is a scary thought!!

Linking a recent post on God being our Good Shepherd, which is the reminder I need to further surrender and loosen my grip!

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Lois Flowers May 15, 2020 - 8:56 pm

It was good to hear from you this week, Elena. I love the visual you shared, of holding our plans in open hand so that God can rearrange them as He sees fit. And He often does that very thing, doesn’t He? 🙂

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Jeanne Takenaka May 12, 2020 - 1:37 pm

I’ve thought about how the loss of ten children in one day must have devastated Job and his wife. I can’t imagine the pain of that. We know God is faithful, and He is good, even when we don’t understand why He allows certain things.

I’m with you in hoping that the changes wrought during this season in our lives will be lasting and good. Like you, I’ve had to adjust many of my expectations, and I’ve had to come to the Lord many times with issues God’s highlighted in my heart.

Beautiful words and thoughts here, my friend.

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Lois Flowers May 15, 2020 - 8:51 pm

Thanks so much, Jeanne. I’ve had to come to Jesus with my cares and attitudes and anxieties too, not holding anything back. I’ve been reading the Psalms every day, and that’s been such a stabilizing force amid all the uncertainty and noise and conflicting reports about everything. Hugs, friend.

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Lesley May 12, 2020 - 12:52 pm

I agree, I think we will be changed by this time. My prayer is that it will be for good, and I can see ways God is working good in this even now but it’s still hard to let go of certain things. Holding things loosely is good advice, and trusting that God knows what he’s doing!

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Lois Flowers May 15, 2020 - 8:44 pm

I can see God’s hand at work too, Lesley, but I know what you meant about letting go of certain things. Disappointment about unmet expectations and anxiety about uncertainty can be hard to handle at times.

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Laurie May 12, 2020 - 10:38 am

Thankfully, most of us will not suffer as Job did. The suffering we are facing now is nothing compared to his. Thanks for putting this in perspective, Lois. I hope we, as you did during your basement remodel, come out of this better than before. What a good reminder to “hold things loosely”. I do have a tendency to hold on to good things with a death grip.

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Lois Flowers May 15, 2020 - 8:42 pm

I hope that too, Laurie … that we come out of this better than before. I’ve been learning to hold things loosely practically my whole adult life … I think it’s going to be a lifelong course for me!

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Joanne Viola May 12, 2020 - 9:05 am

Amen. I am learning to hold things loosely while holding onto Him more tightly.

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Lois Flowers May 15, 2020 - 8:33 pm

Oh Joanne … that’s the only way to do it, isn’t it?

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Kara May 12, 2020 - 7:21 am

My step-daughter died when she was 22. It is something that you don’t “get over.” I have thought about Job like this as well. How can you be blessed more when you have lost so much? How can all of your new blessings not be tainted with loss? What I’ve discovered, and been reminded of, over the years is that God loves us more than we can understand. And that God loves our children more than we do. So, perhaps Job knew that his children were in a heavenly, joyful place filled with the celebration of God’s love and that one day he would see them again. I remember how happy I was for my children when they first learned to ride a bike or learned to swim because I knew how much joy that would bring them. Anyway, it helped me to understand Job more when I thought of it in this way.

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Lois Flowers May 15, 2020 - 8:32 pm

Oh, Kara … I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for taking the time to share your perspective on Job’s loss, and your own. I think you’re right … it does help to think of the joy our loved ones are experiencing in God’s presence, and to know that we will be reunited with them one day.

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Lisa notes May 12, 2020 - 7:02 am

Yes, I’m having to hold things loosely now too. Yesterday we decided to cancel our June beach vacation with our kids and grandkids. 🙁 I know it’s for the best but it’s still hard.

I agree we will be changed by these experiences. And I’m praying too that it’s for the better. Thank you, Lois!

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Lois Flowers May 15, 2020 - 8:29 pm

Aw, Lisa … I’m sorry about your cancelled vacation. It’s hard to know what to do about summer plans, isn’t it? I hope that you can schedule another trip with your family in the not-too-distant future. Hugs, friend.

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Eva from Finding The Joy Within May 12, 2020 - 6:56 am

This is so beautiful. Thank you for the reminder. I tend to clasp and cling and hold on tightly to my plans, those I love and my ideas for the future. I will pray that God helps me to trust more, to surrender and believe that He will make all things for His glory. God bless you. Xo

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Lois Flowers May 18, 2020 - 4:33 pm

It was good to hear from you this week, Eva. (Sorry I’m a little late answering … I just found your comment this morning!) I have a feeling your prayer is one that will be a delight for God to hear and answer. We never go wrong when we pray as Jesus, “Not my will, but yours.” 🙂

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Anita Ojeda May 12, 2020 - 6:31 am

Amen! I love that term, ‘hold things loosely’—my tendency is the squeeze things too tightly. As I wait for things to unfold and my plans to change (once again), I’ll keep Job’s story in mind. God’s got things under control, and he’s a loving Father. My plans for me might not be the best, so I should hold them loosely and wait patiently on him.

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Lois Flowers May 15, 2020 - 8:26 pm

Anita, I love how you point out that God is a loving Father. That makes all the difference, doesn’t it? If He were disinterested, or cruel, or uninvolved, or powerless, we couldn’t be sure that He has our best interests at heart. But he isn’t any of those things—He’s loving, as you say, and good. So we can trust Him as we wait.

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