Inside: I’m still healing and learning, but I’ve realized some things in the last few months that have encouraged my heart or altered my perspective. Perhaps they will do the same for you. ~
My nest is empty again, and it feels a bit different this time.
When my daughter Molly came home from college in early May, it seemed like I was spending most of my time on the couch or at physical therapy appointments. I’ve come a long way since then, and I’m so thankful.
Change is still change, though, and adding tasks and responsibilities back into my life that were fixtures before my accident requires emotional and physical energy. So does navigating good and normal life transitions, like daughters returning to school.
I’ve come to expect this, and that helps me move forward.
I’ve made a few other observations along the way that have either encouraged my heart or altered my perspective. Perhaps they’ll do the same for you, whether you’re dealing with a newly emptied nest, a lack of answers, a painful diagnosis, relational upheaval or some other challenge you may not have been anticipating.
For Example …
• We don’t have to know why something difficult happened or what the purpose is. But we can rest in knowing that God knows.
• Processing and healing take time. Sometimes, it’s OK to just be. To just make spaghetti sauce or water houseplants or take a shower.
• When we notice improvements, it helps to acknowledge them and thank God for them. One weird consequence of my accident was that my right eye stopped producing emotional tears. (I didn’t know these were a thing either.) A few days ago, however, I was listening to a new song that evoked some emotion in me. This time, a tear welled in my right eye and dripped all the way down my cheek. It wasn’t a torrent, but it was evidence of healing.
• What happens to us doesn’t just affect us. I don’t remember the most traumatic parts of what happened to me, but my loved ones do. I wish they didn’t have to deal with these memories; it makes me sad to even think about it. But God was with them through it all, just as He was with me. Somehow, He will use the experience in their lives, just as He will in mine. And I find comfort in that.
Finally …
I’ve also found a great deal of comfort in the Book of Psalms this summer, so I’ll close with a few passages that have been especially encouraging to me.
“If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would have lived in the land of silence. When I thought, ‘My foot slips,’ your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.” ~ Psalm 94:17-19
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” ~ Psalm 73:26
“I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” ~ Psalm 34:4
• • •
What helps you navigate change, either expected or unexpected? Please share in the comments.
♥ Lois
Processing and healing take time. Sometimes, it’s OK to just be. Share on X What happens to us doesn’t just affect us. Share on XP.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.
Photo by Luke Brugger on Unsplash.
25 comments
There is something redeeming in that – healing one tear drop at a time. God takes our suffering and turns it into grace like poetry. I don’t know if it’s your translation – but this: ““If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would have lived in the land of silence.” – oh, yes! Lois! That went straight to my heart. Praising God for your continual healing! What helps me navigate change? the unexpected? Psalms and that God has the “all is well” plan (2 Kings 4:26)
I appreciate your insights so much, Maryleigh. That verse, which is from the ESV, went straight to my heart too! Hugs, friend!
Thanks for sharing, friend! Praying for you regularly. Thanking the Lord for signs of healing, however slight, is such a good one on this list. Thank you!
I know you understand about those small improvements, Bethany. So grateful for your friendship and prayers … praying for you regularly too!
Heal! Heal! Heal! In the mighty name of the sole healer, God.
Amen and thank you!
karibu meaning “Welcome.” Anyway, how are you fairing.
So many comings and goings in this season…
Thank you for your words of wisdom and godly perspective on all of it!
You’re welcome, Michele. Your writing has encouraged my heart through it all!
I’m glad you’re continuing to heal, Lois, but I’m sorry it’s a slower process than we would want it to be. 🙁 I can only imagine how terrified your family must have been through this whole ordeal. I’ll be thinking of you as you return to an empty nest again. Change is such a constant… sometimes I like it and sometimes I hate it.
Thanks for your kind words, Lisa. I’m with you about change. It’s been making me dizzy lately!
Oh Lois, that song is a tearjerker. It really resonates in my heart, too. I’m so grateful those “emotional tears” are coming back to you! The brain is so complex, isn’t it? Thank you for all your encouragement here! Beauty out of ashes. I, too, am finding comfort in the Psalms this summer. Love, hugs, and blessings of further healing mercies to you!
I’m glad you liked the song too, Trudy. Music is a love language we share, isn’t it? So grateful for you and your encouragement, dear friend.
What an encouraging message! Thank you for sharing!
I’m glad you were encouraged, Susan!
Lois, each of your observations are powerful. I am so glad you are seeing signs of healing and recovery. These signs much be such an encouragement to you and your family. Processing and healing does take time.I have always thought I am a slow processor and it used to bother me. But I am learning, it really is a blessing in disguise. It helps provide patience and some wisdom as we take the time needed. May the Lord continue to be with you, bringing strength and healing. ❤️
Joanne, I appreciate the ways you have found that slow processing is a blessing in disguise. I think I’m learning that too! So grateful for you and your encouragement!
Lois I rejoice in your steps towards healing and full recovery. Such simple, but wonderful gleanings from a hard time. The first one about not needing to know the “why” is so very profound. I think we are wired to ask that why question. Knowing why often helps us find meaning we need to accept the hard things that happened to us. Yet as you so simply stated, God knows why, and that is enough. There is acceptance in that, and in acceptance we begin to heal. Sending much love and prayers your way my sweet Friend, and a cyber hug
Thanks so much, Donna. I think you’re right about how we’re wired and how knowing the “why” helps us find meaning in what we’re facing. And also this: “In acceptance we begin to heal.” It’s such a process, isn’t it? Sending you a hug right back, friend!
Yes! Healing takes time … sometimes, that is the hardest thing to accept.
I love the thought the Lord is my portion. He is everything I need.
I love that thought too, Jerralea. I do need to be reminded of it quite often, however! 🙂
I didn’t realize there were different kinds of tears!
These all resonated with me. I’ve spent way too much time trying to figure out the “why” of various life events. It was puzzling at first to realize Job was never told the why behind his sufferings. But then it was comforting. We don’t have to know why–we just need to trust and rest in Him.
In some ways, it’s almost harder to know our loved ones suffer when we suffer. But we can rest in God’s grace for them, too.
In answer to your last question, about fifteen years ago we moved to another state, leaving one son behind, and another son moved to a different state. On top of all the upheaval and change with a move, I felt like my nest was suddenly 2/3 empty. I may have shared this before, but one truth that sustained me was a phrase from the hymn “Be Still Me Soul”: “In every change, He faithful will remain.”
Barbara, I’m reading through Job right now, so your “why” thoughts hit home today. And isn’t it interesting how we often experience change upon change? Thank you for sharing the phrase from the hymn that sustained you. “In every change, He faithful will remain.” Amen!
Thank you for this post, Lois.
Taking care of yourself and others—in my case now, a spouse with sudden hearing loss—are opportunities. It is in suffering that we find grace.
Praying for you.
-C.D.
I appreciate your prayers so much, Carole. I’m sorry for your husband’s sudden hearing loss. That presents challenges for him and you, doesn’t it? I’m so thankful for this: “It is in suffering that we find grace.” So true.