Is it Time to Answer Your Wake-up Call?

by Lois Flowers

At our house, we have one daughter who usually gets up in the morning before her alarm goes off, so she rarely needs a wake-up call. Meanwhile, just down the hall, daughter No. 2 hits snooze numerous times and often doesn’t actually leave her bed until we throw open her curtains or shout up from the first floor, “Molly, it’s time to get up!”

Whether a soft alarm is enough or it takes bright light in your face to rouse you, all literal wake-up calls have one thing in common: Yesterday’s call won’t work for today. I can’t call up to Molly this morning and expect that it’s going to get her out of bed tomorrow—she needs a new wake-up call every morning.

As I learned recently, however, that’s not necessarily the case with when it comes to metaphorical wake-up calls—those epiphanies that show people they need to change in some significant way.

In addition, “The actual wake-up call is not nearly as important as what happens next,” according to author and minimalism expert Courtney Carver.

“The opportunity to respond to it has no time limit,” she writes in Soulful Simplicity: How Living with Less Can Lead to So Much More. “If your wake-up call came years ago, this is the perfect time to take action and turn it into something powerful. You have an opportunity to rewrite your story and change things about your life, or your whole life.”

This struck an unexpected chord with me when I first read it a few months ago.

Randy had been going to work every day at his essential job in the commercial construction industry. But talk of a Covid-19 recession brought back memories of the Great Recession of the late 2000s, when he was laid off twice in 18 months.

As a result, the what-ifs were wreaking a bit of havoc in my mind.

What if that happens again? How long would it last? Would we have to spend all the girls’ college money on living expenses? Worse yet, what if one of us gets the virus and dies?

It was ridiculous, I know. But that’s where I found myself at that time.

My lifelong desire to know how the story ends had kicked into high gear.

I used to worry a lot more than I do now, but this part lingers. For me, it’s not about control as much as it is about security. And although I’ve had to weather a good dose of uncertainty during the last few years, those familiar feelings of dread can still settle like a lump of lead in the pit of my stomach at times.

When I read Carver’s words, however, something snapped into place deep within me.

My need to know how the story ends is so much a part of me that I actually include it in my writing bio. But I’m going to be 50 later this year. I don’t want this to be part of my identity for the rest of my life.

More immediately, perhaps you’ve heard that there’s a big election coming up—two days before my birthday, actually. Over the course of my adult life, few things have triggered this need-to-know-the-ending anxiety like presidential elections.

In the past, my dad—with his godly perspective and long view of history—was always a source of reason and comfort during these stressful times. But he’s not here anymore to tell me it’s all going to be OK.

I’ve had numerous opportunities to work on this over the years, but I never really considered it urgent enough to address it. I would simply feel anxious until the issue was resolved and then forget about it until the next uncertain event.

But what better time than now, when we are faced with an open-ended situation characterized by more questions than answers, to get serious about learning how to be OK with not knowing how it’s all going to turn out?

I’ve actually had a bit of literal practice at this lately.

When we replaced our treadmill last fall, I began reading books on my tablet while I ran because there was no way to attach my old book-reading stand to the new machine. While it’s possible to read ahead in an ebook, it’s not very convenient or safe to do while you’re running.

So I stopped doing it.

I’ve peeked a few times, but I’ve read several books straight through, without once looking at the end.

Maybe it’s just a coincidence that I started doing this a few months before my wake-up call. Or perhaps it’s another example of how God goes before us, preparing the way for the heart work that needs to happen next.

I wish I could tell you that I’ve come up with a five-step plan for overcoming my need to know how the story ends. Honestly, though, I’m not really sure how to go about it—except one day at a time.

When I feel that anxiety starting to rise, I say to myself, “Wait. Stop. What is the truth about this?”

If there’s no clear answer to that, I ask, “What is the truth about fear and anxiety? Where does my help come from?” (Answer: Not the “hills,” though I’m often tempted to look there first.)

Awareness, mixed with a newfound determination not to let this remain on my “that’s just how I am” list, pushes me forward. (Along with the need to be as emotionally and spiritually healthy as possible come November and the aforementioned presidential election.)

Next week, I’ll share a few more thoughts about what’s helping me work through this. In the meantime, I’m wondering if any of this applies to someone besides me.

Maybe the Covid-19 pandemic, your experiences sheltering-in-place or the George Floyd tragedy has led to some sort of wake-up call for you. Maybe you had a wake-up call years ago that you’ve never really answered.

Or maybe you’ve heard more of a wake-up whisper—a quiet realization that you’re not getting any younger, that you don’t want to keep on the way you’ve been, that with God’s help and a healthy dose of grit, you could actually make a change that changes your life.

It might have to do with a health problem, a relational issue, your attitudes, your work, your home or something relating to your character. If taken seriously, it could prompt you to seek counseling, change your eating habits, begin exercising, dig into scripture, reach out to your neighbor, forgive someone or seek forgiveness yourself, finish your degree or start cleaning out your closets.

Whatever it is, why not start working it out now?

It might take some planning or require financial resources that you don’t have right now. But heart work can happen any time.

Seriously. If I can do it, you can do it. And there’s no time like the present to start.

Lois

I don’t want this anxious need to know how the story ends to be part of my identity for the rest of my life. Click To Tweet When I feel that anxiety starting to rise, I say to myself, “Wait. Stop. What is the truth about this?” Click To Tweet

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Purposeful Faith, #TellHisStory, InstaEncouragements,  #HeartEncouragement, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

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18 comments

Bethany June 8, 2020 - 7:50 pm

Lois, I’ve come back to reread this a few times. So much wisdom. There have been a few wake up calls that are significant in my life, and I appreciate the way you point out that we don’t have to accept things as “just the way we are.” It’s mostly trite, but I just accepted for a long time I wasn’t one to be active or fit and a wake up call came when I hurt my back last fall! The dr. said exercise was the only way to keep the pain away and put off a future surgery. “Skip stretches for two weeks again and you’ll remember why you have to exercise every day,” he said. He was right! I “woke up” and even though I’ll never be an athlete, it turns out I actually can exercise everyday! Praying for you and taking stock of my own “stuff”! Thanks for this my friend!

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Lois Flowers June 13, 2020 - 10:33 am

Good for you to answer the exercise wake-up call, Bethany. It helps to have such concrete feedback when you don’t do it, but still … it takes discipline and motivation to keep going. I have a feeling that when you get older, you’ll look back and thank yourself for starting this when you did. Hugs, friend!

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Lisa notes June 8, 2020 - 4:38 pm

I relate so much to what you’re saying here, Lois. Much of my worries come from my discomfort of uncertainty. And my dad was also a great one to remind that everything will be okay; I miss him! I have to remind myself of it now. Whatever it is, God’s got this. He knows how it will turn out, so I don’t have to concern myself with not knowing every detail between now and then. It’s a process though! 🙂

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Lois Flowers June 13, 2020 - 10:30 am

So true, Lisa. The “discomfort of uncertainty” is a good way to describe it … It’s hard for those of us who like to know the details, isn’t it? 🙂

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Mary Geisen June 5, 2020 - 7:20 pm

I was right with you as you took me on your journey through desiring to know the end of the story. I repeated “what if” many times during my time alone. It only led me to feel more anxious rather than closer to God. It is wise to ask ourselves “what is the truth about this” and also, “is this truth from God or another source”?

I really enjoyed this post, Lois. I pray I continue to have wake up calls for the rest of my life.

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Lois Flowers June 7, 2020 - 7:42 pm

Thanks so much, Mary. You’re right about the effect of repeating “what if”–it is definitely not the path to peace! It’s good to know I’m not alone in this journey, my friend.

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Michele Morin June 4, 2020 - 6:10 am

I can honestly say that dealing with the unknown and the “not yet” has been the most challenging part of my walk with Christ. And the question I ask myself about everything else seems to apply here as well: What story do you want to be able to tell? Certainly, I don’t want to end life with a story of anxious hand-wringing over every curve in the road.
Like you, I’m working on this, and I love the metaphor you’re living by not peeking at the endings of your books.

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Lois Flowers June 7, 2020 - 7:40 pm

That’s such a powerful question, Michele … “What story do you want to be able to tell?” I have a feeling that this will be a life-long fight for me too, but I’m trusting that progress can be made a little at a time.

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Laurie June 2, 2020 - 1:38 pm

Isn’t it amazing how reading one powerful phrase can spark recognition inside of us that something needs to change?

I am a “needs to know the ending” person too. I must admit, I sometimes read the ending of a book first to see whether I want to spend my time reading the whole thing. If I don’t like the ending, sometimes I won’t read the book! I am excited to read how you pushed through this. It’s not something I love about myself. The feelings of anxiety are not fun! Thank you for your wisdom and encouragement.

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Lois Flowers June 7, 2020 - 7:35 pm

Laurie, I know exactly what you mean about not reading the book if you don’t like the ending. I haven’t given up the practice completely, just with my ebooks. 🙂 Hugs, friend.

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Theresa Boedeker June 2, 2020 - 12:28 pm

I too want security and want to know the end. I may not always know the short term ending, but I do know the big ending. That God wins. And knowing that does help. I like this, that we can work on a wake-up call from long ago. This is comforting because sometimes we know we need to address something and decide not to. But as long as we are still alive, we can work on it. And there is comfort in that.

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Lois Flowers June 7, 2020 - 7:31 pm

God wins. Amen, Theresa! And this: “As long as we are alive, we can work on it.” How true this is too. We’re never too old to grow, are we?

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Jeanne Takenaka June 2, 2020 - 11:23 am

Ahhh, Lois. How this post resonates with my heart. Anxiety has been something I’ve had to work through layer-by-layer, over the years. Your words brought to mind one of my favorite verses: Philippians 4:8. The very first thing Paul instructs us to think on is “what is true.” And, like you, when anxieties multiply within me, I find myself coming back to the truth that, even though I may not know the outcome of a situation, I do know the One who holds me, and He is always faithful.

I think God is sending me a wake-up whisper, and I’m still collecting His words to discern what He is saying to my heart.

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Lois Flowers June 7, 2020 - 7:29 pm

Think on what is true. Oh, Jeanne. What a message for these troubled times in which we live. In my heart, I just want some very wise person to tell me it’s all going to be OK. Instead, I have to choose to believe that God has the whole world in His hands, just as He always has. Hugs, friend. Praying for you this week …

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Bev @ Walking Well With God June 2, 2020 - 7:48 am

Lois,
First, I love your “new” head shot! I, too, like to know how the story pans out, but I have been forced to be okay with not knowing with some huge issues on several fronts. It’s helped me to stay solely focused on God, the person and deity, and not on a particular result or outcome (hard for this results-oriented gal). This whole pandemic has given me a little more time to go after some things that have been sitting on the back burner. Thanks for sharing your journey.
Blessings,
Bev xx

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Lois Flowers June 7, 2020 - 7:22 pm

I’m glad the pandemic has afforded you some time to go after those back-burner items, Bev. And it’s encouraging to know how you’ve been able to be OK with not knowing how the story pans out … by keeping focusing on God, not on a particular outcome. I will be keeping that in mind in the coming weeks and months! Thanks for your kind words, my friend.

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SHARON RICKETTS June 2, 2020 - 7:05 am

Thank you for your openness – I can relate to this, as I had one of those ‘defining moments’ about five years ago, when God showed me I was consumed and therefore constrained with anxiety. It is a work that God alone can do, but starts when we are willing to co-work with his grace. God turned me around, to take my eyes off the hills (literally) and start looking out to sea and the limitless horizon. I’ll look forward to reading more of your journey!

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Lois Flowers June 7, 2020 - 7:17 pm

Sharon, I love how you put this … “It is a work that God alone can do, but starts when we are willing to co-work with His grace.” Does the experience you describe have anything to do with what you named your blog (Limitless Horizon)? 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing your perspective on this.

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