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Lois Flowers

Lois Flowers

Share Four Somethings: March 2023

by Lois Flowers March 21, 2023
by Lois Flowers

Inside: The importance of routines and rhythms, memorable quotes from The Great Divorce, a poignant band concert, fighting the worry battle and some fine-lookin’ nachos.

I played the bass drum in high school marching band. I wasn’t great at it; in fact, I wasn’t even coordinated enough to play with two hands.

What I could do, though, was keep a steady beat.

Steady rhythms are helpful. They keep everything—and everyone—moving forward together.

When the rhythm is disrupted, it can throw everything off. In a high school marching band—and in life.

This hit home last month when I was sick with Covid. The actual illness wasn’t nearly as bad as the emotional roller coaster ride that followed it.

Fortunately, my husband and daughter kept our household running when I was sick. I’m grateful for that.

I’m also thankful for the rhythms and routines that have helped me get back to the business of managing my home and my mental health.

Speaking of routines, I’ve been participating in the monthly Share Four Somethings linkup for a few years now. I’ve gone back and forth about keeping it up.

It wouldn’t disrupt my blogging schedule much if I stopped. But I’ve heard from readers who say they enjoy this type of post because it helps them get to know bloggers on a more personal level.

I’m all for getting to know people better. Plus, these posts are fun to write.

You can let me know what you think about this in the comments. For now, I’m going to continue linking up with Jennifer Goodwin and the rest of the Share Four Somethings bloggers. As always, we start with …

Something Loved

In early March, the U.S. Navy Band kicked off their 2023 tour in Kansas. My sister Ruth is the group’s long-time principal oboist, so it’s always a joy to see them in concert.

This time, it was also bittersweet. When the band came through the Kansas City area in 2018, my dad was in the audience. He was proud of Ruth’s musical career, and he loved hearing her play, especially upbeat marches and other familiar pieces.

Most people probably don’t cry at Navy Band concerts. But I’m guessing it won’t surprise you to know I had to choke back more than a few tears when the band struck up a rousing version of the Washington Post March.

Something Read

I didn’t have any library books handy when I was recovering from Covid, so I pulled The Great Divorce off my shelf. I’m pretty sure it was required reading in college, but I don’t remember any of it.

According to the subtitle, this C.S. Lewis classic describes A Fantastic Bus Ride from Hell to Heaven—A Round Trip for Some but not for Others. Here are a few memorable quotes …

How heaven changes our perspective on suffering:

“This is what mortals misunderstand,” Lewis writes. “They say of some temporal suffering, ‘No future bliss can make up for it,’ not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory.”

How people in Hell choose it:

“There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, in the end, ‘Thy will be done.’ All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice, there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock it is opened.”

Now I’m reading Lewis’s Letters to Children, which I first found in a delightful used bookshop in Tontitown, Ark., (see photo at top of post) and later ordered from the library. I’m also rereading The Screwtape Letters.

Nothing gets my creative juices flowing more than reading good writing, and for me, Lewis is the absolute best.

Something Learned

This month, I’m sharing what I didn’t learn. Or, perhaps it would be more accurate to say I haven’t learned it nearly well as I thought.

The lesson? Not worrying about tomorrow.

In early 2020, when the world seemed to be teetering on the brink of disaster, God gently impressed upon my heart the need to address this struggle in a tangible way. (See here and here for more on that story.) I still have miles to go, but I honestly thought I had made a bit of progress with it.

Lately, though, I’ve found that while I’m able to live one day at a time in certain areas of my life, I’m far less OK with it in others. It’s been a mental battle, to put it mildly.

The particulars aren’t as important as the struggle, which I think many of us face.

Waiting for answers isn’t easy. What is easy—at least for me—is getting stuck in the what-if vortex.

The difference, compared with how I was before 2020, is that now I am very aware of what is going on. In a way, this makes it worse because I sometimes feel like a fraud. On the other hand, it’s helpful because I am actively seeking ways to respond.

I’m taking deep breaths. Remembering how God has worked in the past. Trying to cast my cares on Jesus right when they are swarming my mind.

One day at a time.

“I called to the Lord in my distress, and I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears.” ~ Psalm 18:6

Something Eaten

Nothing fancy here, folks. We’re talking about nachos this month. On frequent Sunday evenings, Randy spreads out the chips, covers them with cheese and pops them in the microwave.

For Molly, a vast quantity of cheese is enough. For me, the work is only beginning. But, as you might concur after seeing the photo, the result is totally worth it.

• • •

Now it’s your turn. Have you read any memorable books lately? If worrying about tomorrow is a struggle for you, how do you combat it? How do you like your nachos—just cheese or loaded down with colorful extras? Do tell in the comments, or add your own version of Share Four Somethings.

♥ Lois

Steady rhythms are helpful. They keep everything—and everyone—moving forward together. Share on X I’m taking deep breaths. Remembering how God has worked in the past. Trying to cast my cares on Jesus right when they are swarming my mind. One day at a time. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with sharefoursomethings, #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Recharge Wednesday, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

March 21, 2023 35 comments
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How to Pray for a Grieving Friend

by Lois Flowers March 14, 2023
by Lois Flowers

Inside: Do you struggle for words when praying for grieving friends? Try asking God to help them in areas that were difficult for you during your own seasons of sorrow.

I don’t have specific stats to back this up, but it seems as if the first few months of 2023 have been marked by an onslaught of grief and loss.

Off the top of my head, I can think of five people I know who lost close loved ones, three of them unexpectedly. And that was just over a few weeks in January and February.

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March 14, 2023 22 comments
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How a Simple T-Shirt Can Bring People Together

by Lois Flowers March 7, 2023
by Lois Flowers

Inside: When there’s so much that divides us, a catchy message on a T-shirt can highlight what we have in common if we simply take the time to notice. ~

I was getting ready to check out at Kohl’s when I noticed a woman near the front of the store peering at me as if she knew me. I didn’t recognize her, but that didn’t stop her from coming over to where I stood.

“I love your T-shirt,” she said.

“Oh … thank you!” I said, glancing down to see what my shirt said. (Yep, I should have known.)

“Easily distracted by plants.”

That’s Me

The message describes me to a T (pun intended). And I’m not the only one, apparently.

Nearly every time I wear this particular shirt, gifted to me by my husband who knows firsthand how applicable it is, people stop me to tell me how much they like it.

I don’t mind, though.

Common Ground

Maybe I take after my outgoing Italian mom, or perhaps I learned it from my extroverted daughter. Whatever the case, despite my introverted nature, I enjoy interacting with strangers at stores.

And especially these days, when there’s so much that divides us or could potentially tear us apart, I love that a simple message on a T-shirt can highlight what we have in common.

It’s not limited to hobbies like gardening, either.

Faith Flag

Another favorite T-shirt has the words faith, hope and love emblazoned down the front. People stop me about this one too. At Sam’s Club, at Wal-Mart, at the check-in desk at the early voting place.

In my mind, wearing the shirt is similar to drawing an icthus in the sand, like early believers did as a way to identify one another.

It doesn’t blare Christianity. Most people don’t even notice it, in fact. But when someone sees my shirt and makes a point to say something, it clues me into the fact that—at one level or another—we share some key values.

Building Bridges

It also makes me wonder. Could it really be that simple? Could the unassuming act of wearing a T-shirt open doors, build bridges, cross lines, maybe even start up an unlikely friendship?

I’d like to think so.

We don’t have to think alike about every issue, or even most of them. If we’re paying attention, though, I think we can find pieces of common ground here and there.

We’ve all heard the saying, “Be the good you want to see in the world.”

Maybe we could start by wearing the good we want to see in the world.

• • •

Do you have a “message T-shirt” that brings people out of the woodwork to talk to you? Have you ever commented on the words on a stranger’s shirt? Please share in the comments …

♥ Lois

When there’s so much that divides us these days, I love that a simple message on a T-shirt can highlight what we have in common. Share on X Could the unassuming act of wearing a T-shirt open doors, build bridges, cross lines, maybe even start up an unlikely friendship? Share on X
March 7, 2023 30 comments
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Share Four Somethings: February 2023 

by Lois Flowers February 28, 2023
by Lois Flowers

Inside: A week that went sideways, a growing list of loves, a favorite Psalm and learning to trust on the cusp of a new season.

I’ve spent the last several days on the couch, resting my way through the various phases of a sickness I’ve not had previously and certainly didn’t expect to get last week. 

The coming days likely will bring an uptick in articles about how the world has changed in three years and where we are now and what it all means. I have a few thoughts and feelings about that myself. Right now, though, I’m just grateful that my inevitable turn with Covid has been mostly unremarkable.

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February 28, 2023 18 comments
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The Unexpected Blessing of a Newly Surfaced Photo

by Lois Flowers February 21, 2023
by Lois Flowers

Inside: How an old snapshot of me and my dad helped me appreciate my mom more. And how growing older or losing parents can alter our perspectives and enable us to reframe memories in a healing way.

When I visited my aunt in Wisconsin last September, I was drawn to a thick album of family history on a shelf near her favorite reading chair.

My parents had a similar binder full of photocopied pictures and family memories in their home. But I had always skipped over the photos and gone straight to the written material when I looked at it.

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February 21, 2023 24 comments
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1 Prayer that Helps Us Hold Our Plans Loosely

by Lois Flowers February 14, 2023
by Lois Flowers

Inside: The spiritual anchor that helps us loosen our grip on our plans and release the details of our lives back into the hands of the only One who knows exactly what we need.

Certain seasons of life bring a greater urgency to our prayers.

When life hangs in the balance, chaos swirls, and we face more questions than answers.

When we’re watching on the sidelines, quietly—perhaps desperately—hoping for God to intervene in a loved one’s life, praying that they will respond when He does.

In the waiting room—when we have a dream that seems like it will never be fulfilled, and the fulfillment of it is largely out of our control.

Spiritual Anchor

It was during a season like that last one, when Randy and I were struggling with infertility, that I first learned to pray for God’s will to be done, not mine. It became a spiritual anchor, this phrase that Mitford author Jan Karon calls the “prayer that never fails.”

I’ve come back to it over and over in the years since. It helps me to loosen my grip on my expectations and anxieties, to release the gritty details of my life back into the hands of the One who knows precisely what I need and has promised to fulfill His purposes for me (and you too).

Your will be done.

Quiet Before the Storm

I’ve been praying for many things over the last several months. Overall, though, life has been pretty calm and uneventful.

In other words, it’s been quite some time since I felt the urge to pray this particular prayer regularly and fervently.

Then a quiet, peace-filled December was followed by a January that hurled various bits of unexpected at us. I don’t know about you, but even normal life transitions can throw me off, especially if they seemingly come out of nowhere and I don’t know how they’re going to end up.

We’ve had a few of those going on, plus another more serious (though not life-threatening) issue to navigate.

What Next?

Then one day, I remembered the prayer that never fails. Not that I had forgotten it, as one forgets the name of an old acquaintance or what one had for Sunday dinner three months ago.

As I said earlier, however, I hadn’t prayed it consistently for a while.

May your will be done, not mine.

Looking Back

Deuteronomy 32:7 says, “Remember the days of old; consider the years long past. Ask your father, and he will tell you, your elders, and they will teach you.”

I came across this verse after I chose remember to be my OneWord for 2023. As I think back on seasons of my life long past, a few things stand out. God’s faithfulness, for one, and also what happens in my mind and heart when I remember to pray “thy will be done.”

I suppose it goes without saying, but I’ll tell you anyway. The phrase is back in my daily prayers again, calming my heart and helping me to deposit my cares directly into God’s hands, right where they belong.

• • •

Have you ever “remembered” something that helped you in years past just as you were wondering how to deal with a current situation? Is there a particular verse or phrase from scripture that centers your heart and helps you release your cares to Jesus in prayer? Please share in the comments …

♥ Lois

Even normal life transitions can throw me off, especially if they seemingly come out of nowhere and I don’t know how they’re going to end up. Share on X 'Thy will be done' is back in my daily prayers again, calming my heart and helping me to deposit my cares directly into God’s hands, right where they belong. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Recharge Wednesday, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

February 14, 2023 20 comments
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Welcome

As long as we’re here on planet Earth, God has a good purpose for us. This is true no matter how old we are, what we feel on any given day or what we imagine anyone else thinks about us. It can be a struggle, though, to believe this and live like it. It requires divine strength and eternal hope. And so I write, one pilgrim to another, in an effort to encourage us both as we navigate the long walk home together.

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