Author

Lois Flowers

A Prayer that Makes a Noticeable Difference In Our Lives

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: We’re all works in progress. But if we want to have a sweet influence in a troubled world, here’s one way to start. ~

I started blogging in the fall of 2014. The following January, I chose a word of the year for the first time.

The word was fruit, and it came with a clear assignment—to pray for the fruit of the Spirit to grow in my life and in the lives of my immediate family members every day.

A Decade’s Worth of Prayer

Subsequent years brought new words (satisfied, fierce, bold, humble, full, strength, dawn, remember, now and notice). Many of these have had a powerful impact on my life. Through it all, though, I never stopped praying for the fruit. Which means that, as of last January, I’ve been doing this regularly for 10 years.

My prayer has changed a bit over time. Past iterations of my request for love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self control were perhaps a bit more eloquent than the words I tap out in my morning prayers now.

I’ve also added humility to the conversation in recent years. Not because I think the original collection of fruit is lacking, but because it seemed like a convenient place to insert a petition for this much-needed trait.

Any Difference?

The obvious question to ask about this practice is this: Has it made a difference?

In my own life, I would say yes, though the fact that I haven’t stopped praying for the fruit is a good indication that this is a lifelong process. I may look back and see a bit of growth, then I’m presented with a situation that shows me I still have much room for improvement.

Such was the case this year with patience. Before my accident last March, I would have said I was a pretty patient person. But my ongoing recovery process has provided ample opportunities to see that waiting is hard for me and I’m often lacking in endurance.

Works in Progress

The good news—for me and for you too—is that we are all works in progress. As Eugene Peterson noted in the title of his wonderful book, life is indeed “a long obedience in the same direction.”

We don’t have to grow weary in doing good. Instead, we can trust that God who began a good work in us will continue it until it is completed (Gal. 6:9, Phil. 1:6).

I don’t make it a habit of dispensing devotional advice. But if I had one suggestion for busy moms, young adults, empty nesters, retirees and everyone in between, it would be this. Starting today, pray regularly for each element of the fruit of the Spirit to grow in your life.

Spiritual Exercise

It might seem rote, but think of it as spiritual exercise. If you walk, run or do the same workout at the gym every day, you don’t criticize yourself for what you are doing to get stronger, do you? It’s the same with praying for the fruit.

The changes may be a long time coming, and they might be subtle. But when you notice one, it might be like the difference between a tomato you buy in the winter at the grocery store and one your neighbor grows in her garden and shares with you.

The winter tomato pales in comparison to the home-grown fruit. And the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control God will produce in your heart as a result of your prayers will be far deeper and richer than what was there before.

• • •

I’ve written about praying for the fruit of the Spirit in other blog posts over the years. If you’d like to read more, here they are:

• One Word 2015: Results or Not, Prayers Continue

• The Prayer that is Changing Me

• 2 Simple Habits that Make All the Difference

• One Way to Bring Peace to Our Troubled World

• • •

In Case You Missed It:

I’m starting a subscriber-only email newsletter that will replace my third blog post each month. I’m sincerely grateful for each of you who have subscribed.

If you haven’t gotten around to it yet, I would love for you to sign up. As my way of saying thanks, you will receive a seven-day devotional called Faith, Fear, and the God Who Goes Before Us once you subscribe.

Click Here to Subscribe

I’ll send out the first edition of Courage, Dear Heart in October.

♥ Lois

Starting today, pray regularly for each element of the fruit of the Spirit to grow in your life. Share on X The fact that I haven’t stopped praying for the fruit of the Spirit after 10 years is a good indication that this is a lifelong process. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

22 comments
FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinEmail

How to Avoid the Comparison Trap

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: A passage from The Chronicles of Narnia gave me a way to fight this contentment-stealing habit. I think it might help you too. ~

Have you ever gotten stuck in the comparison trap?

This contentment-stealing tendency to focus on what other people have that we lack has popped up here and there throughout my life, but it was especially pervasive when I was struggling with infertility.

Then I stumbled across something in my favorite book series that made me look at pregnant women differently. And that made all the difference—with those comparisons as well as in other situations where this insidious hazard threatens to snag me.

Transformational Words

The life-changing passage I’m talking about is from The Horse and His Boy, the third book in The Chronicles of Narnia. It traces the adventures of a little orphan named Shasta, an aristocratic runaway named Aravis and two talking horses as they attempt to travel back to Narnia.

Eventually, Shasta encounters Aslan on a foggy mountain path. He can’t see the lion so he doesn’t know what he is. But when he feels Aslan’s warm breath on his hand and face, he relaxes a bit and begins to share his litany of sorrows.

He tells how he had been orphaned at a young age and raised by a stern fisherman. How he had then escaped. How he and his companions had been pursued by lions at least twice, and how one lion had actually gotten to Aravis and wounded her. He also tells about all the other dangers they have faced on their journey, and how terribly hungry and thirsty and exhausted he is.

We pick up the story there:

“I do not call you unfortunate,” said the Large Voice.

“Don’t you think it was bad luck to meet so many lions?” said Shasta.

“There was only one lion,” said the Voice.

“What on earth do you mean? I’ve just told you there were at least two the first night, and—”

“There was only one: but he was swift of foot.”

“How do you know?”

“I was the lion.” And as Shasta gaped with open mouth and said nothing, the Voice continued. “I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis. I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept. … And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you.”

“Then it was you who wounded Aravis?”

“It was I.”

“But what for?”

“Child,” said the Voice, “I am telling you your own story, not hers. I tell no one any story but his own.”

This conversation—especially the part about the lion pushing the boat—took on even greater meaning after Randy and I adopted our daughters in 2002 and 2006. Even now, I can’t get through those words without choking up.

Two Powerful Sentences

Back in our pre-adoption days, though, it was the last two sentences that grabbed our attention and wouldn’t let go.

“I am telling you your own story, not hers. I tell no one any story but his own.”

The message was clear. The things that happen in the lives of other people are part of “their story,” and it is neither our responsibility nor our business to know why God allows them to happen.

Ouch.

And yet, what a relief!

The Pressure is Gone

We’re off the hook. We really can live our lives and trust that God is directing our steps, without continually getting bent out of shape by comparing ourselves to others.

Of course, it takes a lot of discipline to do this. Somehow, we must mentally separate ourselves from what’s going on in other people’s lives and recognize that what is happening to them has nothing to do with us.

The fact that our friends, neighbors or the stranger at the grocery store has a new job (or a fancy car, great health, a zillion social media followers, perfectly behaved children, no mortgage or whatever) and we don’t does not mean that she has God’s blessing on her life and we don’t. It simply means that God’s plan for her right now includes that thing, and His plan for us right now does not.

That’s her story, not ours.

All These Years Later …

It’s a mantra I still repeat over and again when the comparison trap threatens. (In case I forget, the words hang over my kitchen sink in a sign Randy carved for me.)

It’s also helpful to remember that just because other people sometimes seem to get what we want so easily, it doesn’t necessarily mean that their lives are perfect. We don’t see other people’s lives through their eyes; we only see them from the outside.

There’s always more to any given situation than meets the eye. And when we compare ourselves to someone else without having all the facts, we’re only hurting ourselves.

That’s their story, not ours.

I’ll Be Honest

Thinking like this is much easier said than done. But when we’re able to do it, it’s a very effective way to stay (or get) out of the comparison trap.

It keeps us from becoming (or remaining) bitter, jealous, resentful or depressed when someone else has what we want. Even better, it enables us to be able to rejoice with those who rejoice—and truly mean it.

• • •

In Case You Missed It:

I’m starting a subscriber-only email newsletter that will replace my third blog post each month, and I would love for you to sign up. As my way of saying thanks, you will receive a seven-day devotional called Faith, Fear, and the God Who Goes Before Us once you subscribe.

Click Here to Subscribe

I’ll send out the first edition of Courage, Dear Heart in October.

♥ Lois

The things that happen in the lives of other people are part of 'their story,' and it is neither our responsibility nor our business to know why God allows them to happen. Share on X There’s always more to any given situation than meets the eye. And when we compare ourselves to someone else without having all the facts, we’re only hurting ourselves. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

14 comments
FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinEmail

Hope for the Second Half of Life

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: Even when giants threaten and challenges seem daunting, this biblical example demonstrates that it is possible to remain faithful to God as we get older.~

If you’re familiar with Old Testament history, you may recall that Caleb was one of 12 men sent by Moses to scout out the Promised Land a few years after the Israelites left Egypt.

Their job was to get the lay of the land, not to decide if the people were capable of conquering it. But when the group returned, the majority’s report focused on the giants in the land—how fearsome they were and how Israel didn’t stand a chance against them.

This, of course, was a lie. God never intended for the Israelites to accomplish anything on their own. But only two spies—Caleb and Joshua, who became Moses’ successor—believed the truth about the situation.

As a Result …

Those two were the only men out of an entire generation whom God allowed to enter the Promised Land.

While the rest of his peers were complaining, wandering around and eventually dying off during four decades in the wilderness, Caleb was thriving. Forty-five years later, he was still as strong and vigorous—physically and spiritually—as he had been during that ill-fated spying mission.

Here’s how he described his experience:

“I was forty years old when Moses the servant of the Lord sent me from Kadesh Barnea to explore the land. And I brought him back a report according to my convictions, but my fellow Israelites who went up with me made the hearts of the people melt in fear. I, however, followed the Lord my God wholeheartedly.” ~ Joshua 14:7-8, NIV

Wholehearted Faith

Caleb’s faith wasn’t mediocre; in his own words, he followed the Lord wholeheartedly. He stayed true to his convictions and remained loyal to the God who had delivered his people from Egypt, no matter what anyone else around him did or said.

And when the Israelites finally entered the Promised Land, God gave Caleb the choice land in the hill country he had fallen in love with so many years earlier.

Caleb’s story offers great hope, especially for those of us who have already passed the half-way point in life. Despite all the other passions and pursuits that vie for our attention—many of which are productive and even praiseworthy—his example shows us that it is entirely possible to remain completely faithful to God as we get older.

God has promised to go before us and be with us, never to leave us or forsake us. Because of that, we can follow Him wholeheartedly—even when giants threaten (as they will from time to time) and especially when few around us share that devotion.

• • •

Is there a person in the Bible whose life and example give you hope in your current season? Please share in the comments.

♥ Lois

Caleb stayed true to his convictions and remained loyal to the God who had delivered his people from Egypt, no matter what anyone else around him did or said. Share on X Despite all the other passions and pursuits that vie for our attention, Caleb's example shows us that it is entirely possible to remain completely faithful to God as we get older. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

16 comments
FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinEmail

The Truth that Sustained Me in My Darkest Hours

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: Biblical principles that have guided my life through other difficult seasons held me up and held me fast, and they can do the same for you today. ~

I don’t understand, but I believe.

I remember thinking this frequently in the weeks following my bike accident last March. In those early days, my short-term memory wasn’t working properly. I was often confused about why I was in the hospital and why I couldn’t get myself up to go to the bathroom whenever I wanted to.

It all seemed so surreal to me. How could this have happened? I could have died, but I didn’t. Why not?

I still don’t have answers to those questions. But as what happened started to sink in, biblical truths that have guided my life for decades held me up and held me fast. I pray they do the same for you, whatever you may be facing today.

God Gets There First

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you.” ~ Deuteronomy 31:8a, NIV

My accident occurred in a busy crosswalk near a church and down the road from an elementary school. One could make the case that I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Somehow, though, remembering my favorite Bible verse gave me confidence that God got there first and was with me and my loved ones through it all.

God Walks with Us

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” ~ Psalm 23:4, ESV

I may not have been aware that we were in the valley of the shadow, but Randy was. He was asked to give permission for various life-saving procedures that, as it turned out, didn’t need to be done.

I don’t know why others often face different outcomes. I just know that God alone provides the comfort that frees us from fear.

God Numbers Our Days

“All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” ~ Psalm 139:16b, NIV

This verse sustained my faith as we waited to complete our adoptions and especially when I lost my parents in 2019. On March 25, though, it became much more personal.

The day of my accident was written in God’s book, but—happily—I have more days left. And so do you.

Will you join me in asking the Author of our days to help us make the most of each one of them?

• • •

My blogger friend Michele recently touched on a similar theme in a wonderful post titled Is Your Theology Able to Handle the Unexpected? 

“Let the memory of past deliverances teach you to hope against all hope in today’s uncertainty,” she writes, “knowing that with every unexpected bend in the road you are veering into the loving and wise sovereignty of God.”

How have you experienced this for yourself over the years? Please share in the comments.

♥ Lois

I don’t have answers to many of my questions, but in recent months, biblical truths that have guided my life for decades held me up and held me fast. Share on X Will you join me in asking the Author of our days to help us make the most of each one of them? Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

14 comments
FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinEmail

Comforting Observations from an Unexpected Season

by Lois Flowers
by Lois Flowers

Inside: I’m still healing and learning, but I’ve realized some things in the last few months that have encouraged my heart or altered my perspective. Perhaps they will do the same for you. ~

My nest is empty again, and it feels a bit different this time.

When my daughter Molly came home from college in early May, it seemed like I was spending most of my time on the couch or at physical therapy appointments. I’ve come a long way since then, and I’m so thankful.

Change is still change, though, and adding tasks and responsibilities back into my life that were fixtures before my accident requires emotional and physical energy. So does navigating good and normal life transitions, like daughters returning to school.

I’ve come to expect this, and that helps me move forward.

I’ve made a few other observations along the way that have either encouraged my heart or altered my perspective. Perhaps they’ll do the same for you, whether you’re dealing with a newly emptied nest, a lack of answers, a painful diagnosis, relational upheaval or some other challenge you may not have been anticipating.

For Example …

• We don’t have to know why something difficult happened or what the purpose is. But we can rest in knowing that God knows.

• Processing and healing take time. Sometimes, it’s OK to just be. To just make spaghetti sauce or water houseplants or take a shower.

• When we notice improvements, it helps to acknowledge them and thank God for them. One weird consequence of my accident was that my right eye stopped producing emotional tears. (I didn’t know these were a thing either.) A few days ago, however, I was listening to a new song that evoked some emotion in me. This time, a tear welled in my right eye and dripped all the way down my cheek. It wasn’t a torrent, but it was evidence of healing.

• What happens to us doesn’t just affect us. I don’t remember the most traumatic parts of what happened to me, but my loved ones do. I wish they didn’t have to deal with these memories; it makes me sad to even think about it. But God was with them through it all, just as He was with me. Somehow, He will use the experience in their lives, just as He will in mine. And I find comfort in that.

Finally …

I’ve also found a great deal of comfort in the Book of Psalms this summer, so I’ll close with a few passages that have been especially encouraging to me.

“If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would have lived in the land of silence. When I thought, ‘My foot slips,’ your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.” ~ Psalm 94:17-19

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” ~ Psalm 73:26

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” ~ Psalm 34:4

• • •

What helps you navigate change, either expected or unexpected? Please share in the comments.

♥ Lois

Processing and healing take time. Sometimes, it’s OK to just be. Share on X What happens to us doesn’t just affect us. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

Photo by Luke Brugger on Unsplash.

25 comments
FacebookTwitterPinterestLinkedinEmail