Author

Lois Flowers

If the Struggle is Real for You This Christmas

by Lois Flowers December 19, 2017

by Lois Flowers

This is not your typical week-before-Christmas blog post, but for me, this hasn’t been a typical Christmas season.

Don’t get me wrong. The last few weeks have definitely had their moments of peace, joy and merriment. But mixed in with all those moments have been periods of anxiety, stress and internal struggle unlike anything I’ve experienced for several years.

I have some ideas about the root causes of all this turmoil, but that’s not why I’m telling you this. I’m sharing this today because I have a sneaky suspicion I’m not the only one. When I say the struggle has been real for me lately, I’m guessing maybe some of you can relate.

December 19, 2017 22 comments

How One Word Made All the Difference

by Lois Flowers December 5, 2017

by Lois Flowers

It’s time to revisit my OneWord for 2017.

By revisit, I mean here, on the blog. Not in my heart and mind, where the word has been present, active and possibly even prophetic since it was impressed upon my spirit sometime last fall.

Fierce.

It made no sense when I first thought of it. Out of all the adjectives I might use to describe myself, it never would have come to mind. And yet, there it was.

Fierce.

The sense that this was to be my word only grew stronger the closer we got to the new year. So I dutifully wrote my OneWord blog post (which was mostly about the previous year’s word) and went about my business.

Fierce.

The thing about choosing a word for the year is that you never know if it’s going to turn into something meaningful or just fade away like the morning fog. My two previous words—fruit for 2015 and satisfied for 2016—both were connected to scriptures that I prayed daily, a discipline that kept them front and center for me throughout the year.

I had no verse or prayer for 2017. All I had was a song that describes God’s relentless pursuit of His children in terms of His “fierce” love for us. (Listen here.)

As I explained in that first post, the idea that God’s love for us could be fierce made me start thinking that maybe our love for others could be fierce too. And if love can be fierce, why not patience, joy, gentleness and the rest of the fruit of the Spirit?

Fierce, as in an attitude that is persistent. Deep. Intense. Determined. Intentional, fervent, unwavering.

“As I look ahead to a year that promises to be challenging—perhaps even transformative—for my family, I’m starting to get a feel for why God may have impressed this word on my heart last fall,” I wrote. “I don’t know exactly what the future holds, but I know how I need to conduct myself on the way there.”

I read that now and almost have to laugh. I sound so sure of myself, so in control of my feelings, so certain of how to proceed.

I had no idea.

The year began with confirmation of my mom’s Alzheimer’s and took an unexpected, mid-year plunge with an accident that landed her in the burn unit of a Kansas City hospital followed by two months of rehab and (now) long-term care.

Challenging? Transformative? That’s putting it mildly, I think.

I’ve done things this year that I never pictured myself ever needing to do. Daily trips to the hospital with my dad. Discussions with hospital staff members about living wills and nursing-home care. Family meetings with surgeons, internists, nurses, social workers and palliative care doctors. Hashing through what to do next with my dad and siblings when none of the options seemed very promising. Conversations with my girls about what was happening to grandma, and what it’s like to be the grown daughter of a mom who is in crisis. (This was all just in June, by the way.)

There I was—the one who hates change and avoids confrontation—trying to cope with this new situation one setback at a time, one decision at a time, one day at a time.

Fierce.

Looking back, there is no doubt in my mind that the Holy Spirit was the One who planted that word in my heart. A word from the Word, if you will. And there was power in that.

Every now and then—as I awkwardly juggled all this and regular life too—I’d think of my OneWord and somehow, my confidence would grow. I wasn’t fierce before (maybe I’m still not), but having this word in my mind—and believing God put it there—gave me courage to act. To push open doors not knowing what lay beyond them. To listen to hard diagnoses and even harder prognoses, to engage in hard conversations, to pray hard prayers.

Ironically, the fierceness I had planned to display when it came to the fruit of the Spirit didn’t always pan out. Stress, uncertainty and sleepless nights can bring out the worst in people, and I certainly wasn’t immune to that.

I’m thankful for grace, for morning mercies, for opportunities to model brokenness in front of my girls.

I’m thankful for God’s healing power, for my mom’s resilience, for Randy’s listening ear, for my dad’s faithfulness, for my girls’ companionship and my family’s encouragement.

I’m also very thankful that lately, the main thing I’ve had to be fierce about has been figuring out how to keep my mom from losing her hearing aids.

♥ Lois

Looking back, there is no doubt in my mind that the Holy Spirit was the One who planted that word in my heart. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with the RaRaLinkup, #TellHisStory, Coffee for Your Heart, Chasing Community, #HeartEncourgement and Grace & Truth.

December 5, 2017 32 comments

When You Just Need a Little Christmas

by Lois Flowers November 28, 2017

by Lois Flowers

The neighbors started putting up their Christmas decorations in mid-November, and you know what? I was totally fine with that.

Maybe some other year I might have been muttering under my breath about waiting until the Thanksgiving leftovers are put away before moving on to the next holiday, but this year?

I need a little Christmas, right this very minute.

November 28, 2017 24 comments

When Online Distractions Steal Our Joy

by Lois Flowers November 21, 2017

by Lois Flowers

Last year, I slowly worked my way through a book called The Joy of Missing Out: Finding Balance in a Wired World. Penned by Canadian writer Christina Crook, the book grew out of the lessons she learned during a 31-day “fast” from smartphone data, email and the Internet.

It’s a fascinating—and often sobering—look at the way technology has consumed our lives, affected our brains and changed the way we relate to people. At the same time, it provides a hopeful way forward for those of us who long to be fully present in our lives but still struggle with distractions that suck our time and steal our joy.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want this coming holiday season to pass by in a blur, and especially not because I’m overly concerned about maintaining some sort of online presence in the midst of all the festivities. Even now, as I think through how I can keep that from happening, the following quotes from The Joy of Missing Out are providing motivation and perspective.

We’ll start off with a thought about the importance of the pause button:

“We are all publishers on the Internet. We think our innermost thoughts are profound, important and shareable. And, often, they are. But what they are not, is unique. If the Internet has anything to teach us, it’s probably this: everyone’s a star and everyone’s a critic, and we might all do well to take pause before posting.”

What getting offline does for us:

“Stepping offline reminds us that we are small. The online world, and indeed the world at large, keeps on without us. Our likes, our comments and tweets are not missed. The world—it keeps on turning.”

The best kind of people:

“Present people, people who look you straight in the eye, are a rare and wonderful breed.”

What real life gives us:

“Proximity paints the real picture. Even if we air our foibles and grievances—our metaphorical laundry—online, only those closest to us are privy to our day-in, day-out attitudes and experiences. Real life paints the whole picture; online we see only the strokes.”

The Internet as a tool:

“We don’t use a screwdriver to butter toast. We don’t use a knife to write a love letter. Use the Internet like any tool. Take it out for a specific purpose and then put it away.”

Finally, the truth about choices:

“Every choice is a renunciation. The moment that changes everything is the moment we wake up to the truth that we have to give up something to accomplish our goal. We must renounce to gain.”

Those last five words, especially, are really simmering in my heart and mind these days. They’re leading to something, although I’m not quite sure what just yet.

So how about you? Do any of these quotes resonate with you in a particular way? And how do you find balance in this wired world of ours, especially during the the holiday season?

♥ Lois

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want this coming holiday season to pass by in a blur. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Purposeful Faith, #TellHisStory, Coffee for Your Heart and Grace & Truth.

November 21, 2017 16 comments

One Way to Respond When “Life” Happens

by Lois Flowers November 7, 2017

by Lois Flowers

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

That’s how the saying goes, anyway, so I might as well give it a shot. You see, I started writing this the morning of Sunday, Nov. 5. Ordinarily I would have just gotten home from church, but today—which also happens to be my birthday—has been a little different.

Randy left for church—a 20-minute drive from our house—much earlier than the rest of us because he had tech duties to attend to there. The girls and I got ready and loaded into the van right on schedule, but when I went to start our trusty vehicle, nothing happened.

November 7, 2017 34 comments