Share Four Somethings: July 2020

by Lois Flowers

How can it be nearing the end of July already? For a summer that contains so few activities, at least compared to a “normal” summer, time is certainly flying by.

Here on the blog, it’s been a good season for lighter fare about gardening, home décor and (coming up soon) home renovation projects.

My first Four Somethings post from last month was another fun diversion, so here we are again, linking up with Heather Gerwing to share something loved, something read, something treasured and something ahead.

• Something loved

I could probably include a song under this heading every time I write a “Four Somethings” post. That might get a little predictable, but this month the choice was easy. “There Was Jesus,” the powerful duet by Zach Williams and Dolly Parton, draws me in every time I hear it. (I’ve even cried in the car while listening to it).

I love the lyrics, I love how the two of them sound together, I love Dolly’s passion (especially at near the end). It’s pretty much the perfect song for this uncertain season, I think.

• Something read

Since our local library reopened, I’ve been loading up with more books than I can possibly read before they’re due (especially if they are more tedious than I expected). That said, one title that I did finish this month was You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why it Matters by Kate Murphy. One of my goals right now is to learn to listen better, and I found this book to be a helpful guide in that quest.

These days, it can be difficult to know when to speak and when to be silent. Among many other compelling topics, Murphy has some timely, long-view thoughts for those of us who struggle with that conundrum.

“People tend to regret not listening more than listening and tend to regret the things they said more than the things they didn’t say,” she writes. “It seems giving people a piece of your mind isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. While you may feel a sense of urgency to tell people how you feel, it’s not always helpful.

“You are putting your ego ahead of the other person’s vulnerability. This doesn’t mean you have to be dishonest or self-effacing, but you do need to listen enough to know when the other person is ready to hear what you have to say. Not everything needs to be said as you are feeling it. In fact, sometimes it’s better to wait until you aren’t feeling it quite so strongly.”

• Something treasured

Six or seven years ago, when my mom was still attending Bible studies in the town where I grew up, she gave me a couple of little four o-clock plants that a friend from another church had given her. They’re annuals, which I normally don’t plant, but they are also faithful reseeders that come back year after year, though not always in the same place they appeared before.

Every spring, I hold my breath until I see the familiar little shoots poking up from the ground. So far, I haven’t been disappointed. The four o’clocks start blooming in mid July, sending out pops of a pink so brilliant it catches my eye from inside the house.

They keep going well into August, and I think of my mom every time I see them.

• Something ahead

The start of school in our district has been pushed back to after Labor Day due to Covid-19. My high school sophomore is OK with that, and so am I. What’s immediately ahead, however, is taking older sister to college in another state.

I honestly don’t remember my parents dropping me off at the very same university 31 years ago. I was the sixth of seven children in my family to head off to college, so I’m guessing it was kind of old hat to my mom and dad by then. It’s not old hat to me, though. And while I’m sure we’ll all be fine, I wish my parents were here to offer their perspective on this impending transition.

• • •

Do you have a current favorite song, a good book to recommend or a bit of counsel about sending your first kid to college for the first time? If so, please share in the comments. While you’re at it, feel free to add your own Four Somethings to the conversation.

Lois

I was the sixth of seven children to head off to college, so I’m guessing it was old hat to my mom and dad by then. It’s not old hat to me, though. Click To Tweet These days, it can be difficult to know when to speak and when to be silent. Here's a book that can help. Click To Tweet

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22 comments

Lisa notes August 3, 2020 - 7:00 pm

There Was Jesus gets me every time too! I love their duet together. Our library reopened curbside first, but I think they’re also open on the inside now. But I still get curbside. 🙂 It’s been so convenient. I loved “You’re Not Listening” and it also is my goal to listen better. Praying all will go well when you drop your daughter off at college! I remember it being quite traumatic for me when we dropped off our daughters. 🙂

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Lois Flowers August 7, 2020 - 5:36 pm

Thanks for the prayers, Lisa. We’re getting close to Lilly’s departure date, and all the dorm stuff piling up in her room is making it all seem much more real! 🙂

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Elena Wiggins July 31, 2020 - 4:01 pm

What a powerful and beautiful song! Thanks for mentioning it! And I have that book on my TBR and need to get to it soon! I read Reclaiming Conversation this month and it had some similar themes. I will link my July review post that has that review, if interested. I feel like I have so much to learn in the art of listening, especially since it is so easy to get distracted in this tech-heavy world!

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Lois Flowers August 2, 2020 - 5:20 pm

Elena, I read your thoughts about “Reclaiming Conversation,” and it sounds like I need to put that on my list too. I am trying to listen better, and practical help is especially … well, helpful! 😊

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Bethany July 30, 2020 - 7:48 pm

I enjoyed your four somethings, Lois! How cool that you have that plant to pop up each spring and bring memories with it. I love that new song, and the book sounds fantastic. I’ve just started reading Stay Salt by Becky Pippert and I’m savoring it! Happy (almost) August! Will be praying as you see her off to college!! Wow!

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Lois Flowers August 2, 2020 - 5:13 pm

Happy August to you too, Bethany! I’ve heard of Stay Salt … it does sound good. Thanks for your prayers for this new phase of our lives … so much to look forward to, even with all the uncertainty! Hugs, friend!

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Cindy Wilkins July 30, 2020 - 4:02 pm

I enjoyed your Four Somethings, Lois. And yes I love that song too! My favorite one that I’m listening to over and over again is “Peace Be Still” by Hope Darst. For me, leaving my children at college was really hard. I will say that it gets better but it’s a big adjustment and takes a lot of prayer! God Bless, your S4S neighbor, Cindy

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Lois Flowers July 30, 2020 - 7:06 pm

Oh, Cindy … I love “Peace Be Still” too. I’m trying to prepare myself for the college drop off, and also the adjustment that comes afterwards, but I’m guessing it’s just something I’ll have to get through … each and every time! So nice to hear from you this week. 🙂

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Megan Byrd July 29, 2020 - 1:56 pm

I have also enjoyed listening to that song. I really enjoy Dolly’s voice. The book you mentioned sounds interesting. I may have to check it out.

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Lois Flowers July 30, 2020 - 7:02 pm

I’m a big Dolly fan too, Megan. She does a song with For King and Country that’s really good too … “God Only Knows.” Good to hear from you this week!

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Heather Gerwing July 29, 2020 - 10:06 am

It’s great to have you back again for #sharefoursomethings! Our library is doing curbside pick-up and it has been a joy to check out books again!!

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Lois Flowers July 30, 2020 - 7:01 pm

I’m glad to be back, Heather! And yes … curbside pickup is a huge blessing! 🙂

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Joanne Viola July 29, 2020 - 6:40 am

I loved that song as well when I heard it! It’s beautiful! In this weird time we all find ourselves, it is so hard to think about sending our children out and back to schools. I can only imagine how hard this makes the entire college transition for moms this semester. I pray the Lord will give you the assurance and peace that He will be with all of you. Blessings friend!

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Lois Flowers July 30, 2020 - 7:00 pm

Aw … thank you so much for your encouragement, Joanne. I’m guessing I will be spending even more time casting my cares upon Jesus after we take Lilly go college. One step at a time is my motto for this season; otherwise I think it would all be to much! Hugs, friend.

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Yvonne Chase July 28, 2020 - 12:52 pm

“Without You” by Anthony Brown and group therAPy is on repeat as I type. It speaks to how I feel about my relationship with my Heavenly Father. The chorus says:

Where would I be without Your love
I’d be lost, I’d be lost
Without Your love
Where would I be without Your grace
I’d be lost, I’d be lost
Without Your grace
Never, I never wanna be without You
I never wanna be without You
Never, never wanna be without You
Never wanna be without You

This song provides so much comfort to my heart during this very difficult season. I’d be lost without him for sure.

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Lois Flowers July 30, 2020 - 6:55 pm

Yvonne, thank you so much for sharing this song. I listened to it on YouTube, and I can see why it is such a comfort and encouragement to you right now. Praying for you this evening …

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Michele Morin July 28, 2020 - 9:10 am

Our stories so often intersect.
And thanks for the musical recommendation. I will be listening.

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Lois Flowers July 30, 2020 - 6:51 pm

So true about our stories, Michele. I’m grateful we can encourage each other during these similar seasons …

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Sharon Hazel July 28, 2020 - 6:43 am

I already have the ‘There was Jesus’ song on my varied playlist – and yes it is a good sing along in the car song! My loved this month is the newly developing love of gardening – but I have no idea what you mean by four 0’clock plants – will have to google now! 🙂

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Lois Flowers July 30, 2020 - 6:50 pm

Sharon, I had a friend long ago who loved Four O’Clocks, but I never really knew what they were either until my mom gave me those plants. I’m glad you are loving gardening this month … it’s such a joy, isn’t it? 🙂

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Linda Stoll July 28, 2020 - 6:42 am

Good morning, Lois! And thanks for introducing me to this new song.

There was Jesus. Yes, yes. Always.

I remember my first day at college. And I remembered dropping both my girls off. I’m not sure they looked back after we said good-bye. And that was ok. There was a hole in the family for awhile, but peace in knowing they were where they were meant to be.

Can I say I love the empty nest?

;-}

And all these years later, I absolutely love it when they come home.

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Lois Flowers July 30, 2020 - 6:48 pm

I’m glad you love your empty nest, Linda. And what a blessing to have the kind of relationships with your daughters that enables you to love it when they come home. I’m enjoying where we are now, but I’m kinda looking forward to that season of life too … 🙂

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