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Lois Flowers

Lois Flowers

Share Four Somethings: February 2024

by Lois Flowers February 27, 2024
by Lois Flowers

Inside: I tentatively post my first personal Instagram reel, return to a life-giving habit, write a guest post about God’s involvement in “all the days” of our lives and continue a new QA& feature on the blog. ~

I know there’s an extra day tacked on the end of the month, but doesn’t it seem like February has gone by way too fast?

One highlight for me was Family Weekend at my daughters’ college. This was the first and last time both girls were there for this event as students, so that made it even more special.

In addition to visiting dear friends from our years of living in Arkansas, we also attended a variety of campus activities, including a women’s basketball game. I don’t typically gravitate toward this sport, but since the team is ranked No. 13 in the country, it seemed like a fun option.

One player made eight three-point shots in the game. She kept nailing them, one right after another.

That’s How I Remember It, Anyway

When I looked up her stats, though, it turns out she actually attempted 18 three-pointers, which means she missed more than she made.

That doesn’t detract from her accomplishment, of course. In my mind, it simply reinforces how hard it is to make as many as she did.

As hockey great Wayne Gretzky famously said, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.”

Such sayings don’t normally impact my motivation levels that much, but Gretzky’s words hit home when I heard someone quote them on the radio earlier this month. They’re inspiring me in my current phase of life, which I’ve affectionately dubbed “knocking season” (see here and here for more on that).

Most of my ideas and plans won’t happen on their own, so I’ve been knocking on some doors and trusting God to open the ones He wants me to go through. While that’s going on, I’ve also been able to complete and/or return to some projects that I’ve had on the backburner for a while.

For this month’s riff on Share Four Somethings, I’m focusing on the blog linkup’s “Something Accomplished” category. Starting with …

• A Guest Post

If I had to list my all-time favorite Bible verses, Psalm 139:16b would be near the top. This scripture—“All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be”—has been a lifeline though some of the most uncertain and sorrowful seasons of my life.

In recent years, I’ve come to understand more fully how God’s sovereignty over “all our days” doesn’t just guide the beginning and the end of our lives, but also all the milestone dates and events in between. I wrote about this for the Sage Forum’s mid-month reflection this month. You can find it here.

• A “Real” Reel

Never have I ever filmed myself for an Instagram reel. I never really had reason to do so on my personal account (other than the requirements of the almighty algorithm, which I tend to ignore).

I’ve been told it would be helpful to share personal messages with the Remembering Our Parents Instagram community, but getting started with that always seemed daunting.

You’ll have to watch the reel to see why I finally decided to do it a few weeks ago. (It involved a promise to a friend that I didn’t really think I would have to keep.)

It took a few (well, more than a few, actually) tries, and there’s a technical issue with the sound that I didn’t notice until it posted. Overall, though, I think it turned out OK (thanks in large part to feedback from my husband and daughter).

Will this become a regular feature on Remembering Our Parents? I guess you’ll have to follow along to find out.

• A Helpful Habit

A few years ago, I started “fasting” from the Internet once a week. Aside from texting family members and playing music on Spotify, I went completely offline every Thursday. No email, social media or Google.

I loved this weekly break and kept it up for many months, maybe a year or two. Eventually, though—and I can’t tell you why—I let the habit go.

Then 2024 rolled around, and with it a variety of growth opportunities. And one day, around the middle of January, I thought, I should start taking a day off the internet again.

I did just that, and I think I’m loving it even more than I did the first time around.

On a recent phone call, I shared how I’d come back to this weekly habit. And get this: The friend I was talking to said she noticed a change in my voice when I started telling her about it.

That just goes to show what a burden these online spaces can become, and how important it is to take regular breaks from them. My friend encouraged me to think about adding in even more space, and I’m doing just that.

We each can come up with what works for us, but I think it’s safe to say that some kind of intentional internet fast—on whatever day or part of a day we choose—can only help.

• A New Blog Feature

When I worked as a newspaper reporter and magazine writer, one of my favorite parts of the job was asking people questions about their lives. Most often, I was writing articles about their businesses or other work-related topics, but it was always fun when the conversations became more personal.

I didn’t write many straight Q&As back then, but recently, I decided to try this genre out on the blog as a way to pick the brains (and hearts) of some of my favorite blogging friends.

We started out with a tender conversation about grief with Linda Stoll in early December. Last week, Michele Morin opened up about how God is using her recent Parkinson’s diagnosis to continue His refining work in her life.

Among other things, these interviews are rekindling my love for telling other people’s stories. I’m not sure about all the forms this may take in the future, but stay tuned for more Q&As here. I have a few planned, and I have a feeling they will be as encouraging as the ones I’ve already shared.

• • •

Now it’s your turn. How has February been for you? What have you learned, noticed, read or accomplished lately? Please share in the comments.

♥ Lois

I’ve come to understand more fully how God’s sovereignty over “all our days” doesn’t just guide the beginning and the end of our lives, but also all the milestone dates and events in between. Share on X We each can come up with what works for us, but it’s safe to say that intentional breaks from the internet—on whatever day or part of a day we choose—can only help. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with sharefoursomethings, #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

February 27, 2024 24 comments
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Survival Skills for the Wilderness Seasons

by Lois Flowers February 20, 2024
by Lois Flowers

Inside: In this Q&A interview, blogger Michele Morin talks about God’s sovereignty, managing Parkinson’s disease and how parenting has clarified her theology. ~

On the surface, my blogger friend Michele Morin and I are, well, as different as different could be.

She lives in Maine, I live in Kansas. She has four adult sons, I have two young adult daughters. She homeschooled her children; my girls went to public schools.

She has a flourishing vegetable garden; I have never successfully grown a tomato plant. She’s a gifted book reviewer; I’d rather go to the dentist than review a book.

Kindred Spirit

For all the differences, though, when I read her words at Living Our Days, I sense a kindred spirit. Not only because she appreciates C.S. Lewis and can a turn a phrase in a blog post like nobody’s business. I also value the wisdom of someone who is further down the parenting path than I am, who humbly holds fast to biblical truth, who rests in God’s sovereignty even when life doesn’t make sense.

Michele was recently diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. She weaves this journey into her writing here and there, which—in my view—has made her words even more relatable and encouraging. This is where we began when, via email, we had the following conversation.

• • •

LOIS: What was your initial reaction to your diagnosis?

MICHELE: Sometimes being a pessimist is helpful. (However, I prefer to think of myself as a realist.)

For a year or two before my actual diagnosis, I had been paying attention to a slight tremor that involved only my right thumb. It was annoying but didn’t interfere with anything, so I just took note and moved on. I suspected Parkinson’s or something neurological, so I was relieved that it wasn’t a tumor or something worse.

Managing Parkinson’s disease is a little bit like having a part-time job. Regular exercise is the only factor proven to slow the progression of the disease. And I have a terrific physical therapist who prescribes movement to counteract the pain, stiffness, imbalance and tremor.

There’s no question that Parkinson’s disease is continually in the business of taking. Even so, in slowing me down and forcing me to think about activities that used to be automatic, it leaves behind the gift of simply being, balancing and breathing.

So I stand on one foot every morning and at the same time, I’m paying attention to the arrival of the light outside my kitchen window. I practice big movements and lie on the floor to stretch and strengthen. And all the while my heart and lungs oxygenate my blood without my having to lift a finger!

When the actual diagnosis came, it wasn’t a surprise, but I do remember asking God, “What are you thinking?” After all, I have a full and hectic life with kids, grandkids and a church family who depend on me, a ministry of teaching and writing that I love, and a husband who’s expecting to retire with me in a few years.

God’s response was swift but gentle: “Trust me.”

That’s my assignment.

LOIS: I suppose that is the case for all of us, isn’t it? Individualized lessons plans from the same loving Father? Did you have any hesitation about working your Parkinson’s journey into your writing?

MICHELE: Maybe it’s because I’ve been pretty open about so many of my challenges as a mother and a believer, but I don’t think it ever occurred to me NOT to write about the diagnosis and the management of the disease. It took me several months to get used to thinking of myself as a person with a chronic condition. But right from the beginning, it was clear to me that this particular affliction had been measured out to me for my good (somehow!).

Even more important, God was very present with His unique blend of strength and comfort. He “who comforts us in all our affliction” has in His mind the privilege of equipping us to “be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5, ESV).

LOIS: That’s such a comforting, helpful perspective. Looking back over your life–as the mom of four boys, as well as other roles and challenges–can you pinpoint a few ways God may have prepared you for this season?

MICHELE: My orientation to time is always toward the future, so this question required some digging and rummaging around in the past. Like a lot of young adult evangelicals who were coming of age in the 80s and 90s, I think my theology was larded through with a mixture of prosperity gospel and the prayer of Jabez.

Then I had children!

During a particularly intense season of homeschooling and parenting, I remember clearly the day I “heard myself” praying for my four sons, and it sounded like a page out of someone’s name-it-and-claim-it playbook.

I was asking for successful auditions, strong athletic performances and admission to the college of choice as if all this were my greatest hope in life.

When parents pray over an open Bible, the words of Scripture wrap themselves around the desires of our hearts and give us the words we don’t have. Therefore, while I would love to live on a planet where the “Christian kids” get full scholarships, never total their vehicles, marry believers and stay true to the faith for their entire lives, that is not what the Bible describes or promises.

Paying attention to my responses as a parent and being actively involved in the lives of fellow believers through the church I call home has been deeply clarifying to my theology. “Bad” things happen. Sixty-one-year-old grandmothers with full and challenging lives get Parkinson’s disease.

The question for me, then, is this: “What am I going to do with it?” Railing against it in anger or falling into a puddle of self-pity are not reasonable options given the existence of a God who is both sovereign and good.

LOIS: What a journey! The learning never ends, does it? As we wrap up this conversation, how does your belief in God’s goodness and sovereignty guide you, both on your own walk home to heaven and also as you seek to love your family of adult children as best you can?

MICHELE: This is a well-timed question because I’m working on a talk for an upcoming speaking engagement called “Survival Skills for the Wilderness.”

One thing I’ve noticed about myself and others is that no one ever volunteers for a wilderness, faith-testing experience. Yet we learn from the Old Testament that God does not take his people into the wilderness to abandon them there. The pathway of adversity is designed to show us what is in our hearts.

John Newton remembered his long wilderness days as “the Lord’s school.”

God wanted to make His people intensely conscious of their dependence and His power, so He met them there with the water of His grace. I will serve my family (and my readers) most faithfully by asking God to give me eyes to see what He provides as good, courage to relinquish what He withholds and faith to envision what He wants me to become as a result of the challenges He sovereignly assigns to me.

LOIS: The folks who attend your speaking engagement are in for a treat, Michele. Thanks so much for being with us this week.

• • •

Friends, if you’ve been encouraged by Michele’s story, feel free to leave her a message in the comments. If you’d like to read more of Michele’s words and soak up more of her wisdom, you can find her here.

♥ Lois

'When parents pray over an open Bible, the words of Scripture wrap themselves around the desires of our hearts and give us the words we don’t have.' ~ Michele Morin Share on X 'No one ever volunteers for a wilderness experience. Yet ... God does not take his people into the wilderness to abandon them there. The pathway of adversity is designed to show us what is in our hearts.' ~ Michele Morin Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

Photos provided by Michele Morin.

February 20, 2024 28 comments
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When Taking the Next Step Makes You Second-Guess Yourself

by Lois Flowers February 13, 2024
by Lois Flowers

Inside: What to do when you put yourself out there and immediately start questioning what you’ve done. Plus, an unexpected way to handle the wait when the outcome is out of your hands. ~

I wrote recently about being in a season of knocking.

Along with that, it seems, I’m also in a season of second-guessing. (More like third- and fourth-guessing, to be completely accurate.)

I knock, which right now looks like applying for this or submitting that or asking someone for help with the other thing. And then I wait for an answer.

And I Wonder

What on earth was I thinking? Did I say it wrong? Do they hate it? What if they say no? What if they say nothing?

Yep. Second-guessing, to the fifth power.

This is an uncomfortable spot for anyone, but especially for a person who tends to be more logical than not. I normally don’t spend much time second-guessing myself.

Plus, as I wrote here, I really do believe that God will open the right doors for us at the right time. I also believe that when a door comes along that looks like it could open to an opportunity (even if that possibility is remote), we should knock.

Why the Uptick?

Since now is my word for 2024, I’ve been putting this into practice with a little more urgency lately. Which, I suppose, explains the uptick in second-guessing. That, along with being a new empty nester with ideas about what I want to do when I grow up but less confidence when it comes to implementing those ideas.

Fledgling empty nesters aren’t the only ones who go through this, of course. Recent or soon-to-be retirees, college seniors about to graduate, middle-aged men who wonder what’s next, moms with kids about to enter school—all face question marks about what the future holds and the best way to move forward into it.

What I’m learning, in this season of “now,” is to knock on a door in the best way I know how, then mark it off my to-do list and move on.

Out of My Hands

It’s not that I forget I’ve sent the email or asked someone for help. But there’s nothing we can do to make people respond to us. So when I’m tempted second-guess, I’m trying to remind myself that it’s now out of my hands.

That way, I’m not sitting around waiting on pins and needles. And if the answer I hope for comes, all the better.

I readily admit this is easier said than done. But having a plan in place is helpful.

I’m also learning to pay close attention to how God is moving in the lives of other people. Not to compare, but to be encouraged.

More to the Story

When something good happens to someone else, there’s usually a story behind the story. And it often comes out in their actual words.

“I struggled for years to figure this out, and then this one thing fell into place and it became clear.”

Or, “I thought I had to do it this way for so long, but then someone suggested this, and now I know how to proceed.”

We usually have no idea what preceded a breakthrough for anyone else. Rather than think, “Why her and not me?” when someone shares a story of God’s provision, let’s take heart and remember our faithful God will work out His plans for us too.

On His Timetable, Not Ours

This can be a challenge for those of us who like to read the end of the book first. There’s no peeking ahead during knocking season, however.

We don’t often get a divine message that says, “This is the way, walk in it” (see Isaiah 30:21).

More often, our prayer must be, “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you” (2 Chronicles 20:12).

One step leads to the next. Over and over again. In big ways and little ways.

• • •

Are you in a knocking season? Has it been accompanied by bouts of second-guessing? Tell us about it in the comments so we can encourage each other to keep moving forward in faith.

♥ Lois

I’m learning to pay close attention to how God is moving in the lives of other people. Not to compare, but to be encouraged. Share on X Rather than think, 'Why her and not me?' when someone shares a story of God’s provision, let’s take heart and remember our faithful God will work out His plans for us too. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with One Word 2024, #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

February 13, 2024 32 comments
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What To Do When You Long for Encouragement

by Lois Flowers February 6, 2024
by Lois Flowers

Inside: It may seem counter-intuitive, but here’s a good way to proceed when your efforts are overlooked or you feel unseen. ~

When my girls were younger, the Golden Rule often came up in my conversations with them.

Whether the situation involved kids at school, each other or some stranger on TV, “How would you feel if someone did that to you (or said that about you)?” was a question worth considering, especially during stages of their lives that were especially me-focused.

It’s biblical, this concept of treating others how we would like to be treated. It’s right there in Matthew 7:12, in bright red letters: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.”

Poor Me

Even so, when it comes to my own reactions to perceived slights, I’m inclined to bypass the Golden Rule and proceed straight to feeling sorry for myself.

When something I’ve said or done—my presence when I’m not normally there, my absence when I normally am, a fresh haircut, a new blouse, a sad countenance, a question in a text, how much effort I’ve put into something—is overlooked or not mentioned, I’m tempted to get hurt feelings.

On rare occasions, the affront is intentional. Most often, though, it’s not.

People Are Busy

They don’t always notice everything that is important to us. They may notice and forget to mention it. There could be any number of reasons.

In these cases, I need to remember how much I care for these people and give them the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes, I need to get over myself and stop being petty. Perhaps a reminder that the world doesn’t revolve around me is in order.

But always, I need to look for opportunities to do for others what I wish someone would do for me, and then do it.

It’s counter-intuitive, I know. But it’s the only way I know of to take the focus off myself and carry on about the business of living in a way that honors God.

Anyone Else?

I won’t ask for a show of hands, but I wonder if you might be able to relate to what I’m saying in some tiny way. If so, can I just pass on a version of what I share with myself from time to time?

If you are an encourager who needs some encouragement, keep encouraging.

If you are a helper who could use a little assistance, keep helping.

If you are a prayer warrior who needs prayer, keep praying.

If you are a cook in need of some nourishment, keep cooking.

If you are a giver who could use a present yourself, keep giving.

If you are a card sender who wishes someone would mail you a note, keep sending those cards.

If you are a listener who wants someone to hear you, keep listening.

God Sees

Just keep doing the things God has designed you to do. Even when they seem small to you, even when it seems like nobody is noticing, even when you desperately wish someone would return the favor.

Don’t ever believe the lie that what you’re doing doesn’t matter, that nobody would miss it if you stopped.

Because you are making a difference.

And God sees it, even if you can’t.

♥ Lois

If you are an encourager who needs some encouragement, keep encouraging. Share on X Don’t ever believe the lie that what you’re doing doesn’t matter, that nobody would miss it if you stopped. You are making a difference. And God sees it, even if you can’t. Share on X

P.S. This piece was adapted from a previously published post. Also, this week I’m linking up this week with #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

February 6, 2024 14 comments
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What to do When You’re Waiting for an Open Door

by Lois Flowers January 30, 2024
by Lois Flowers

Inside: When we’re trying to determine what’s next, opportunities for rejection abound. But let’s set our fears aside and keep knocking, trusting that God is ultimately the One who opens or closes every door. ~

When we visited Spain last November, we practically walked our legs off.

We didn’t travel everywhere on foot, of course, but many of the cathedrals, shops and restaurants on our sight-seeing itinerary were a 15- or 20-minute walk away. As we traversed cobblestone streets with tall buildings on either side—trying to keep up with our tour guide/daughter Lilly and avoid running into other pedestrians on the narrow, often uneven sidewalks—I started noticing the doors along the way.

So Many Beautiful Doors

Urban residential areas in Seville, Spain, are nothing like suburban neighborhoods in the Midwest, where houses are separated by yards and have sidewalks leading up to their front entrances.

Where we were, the apartment buildings open right onto the street. You pass a door every couple of yards or so, and every single one is different.

At some point, I started taking pictures of these doors. They were interesting to look at, for sure. But I couldn’t help but think I was drawn to them for a deeper reason.

Delayed Reaction?

By the time we got home, I was sick with Covid for the second time in nine months. As seems to be my custom with this sickness, my words went away for a while. When I looked ahead, I saw … well, nothing.

I wondered if this was some kind of delayed reaction to becoming an empty nester. We’d had a busy fall, after all. Maybe the full force of this transition was finally hitting me.

I gradually felt better. My words slowly came back. And I started thinking about the doors again.

Never Say Never

References to doors started catching my eye, including this statement by novelist Beth K. Vogt: “God’s best is often found behind the doors marked ‘never.’”

“Over and over again I sealed off certain opportunities,” she writes on her website. “I would never marry a doctor or anyone in the military. I would never have children. I would never write fiction. And don’t you know God stripped off the duct tape and walked me through each of those NEVER doors?”

That’s a wise perspective, isn’t it? It certainly intensifies the meaning of the phrase never say never.

Doors Marked “Impossible”

At this point in my life, however, Vogt’s words are speaking to me in a different way. I usually don’t think about never in terms of what I don’t ever want to do. Rather, my thoughts go toward what I might consider hopeless or impossible.

Could it be, then, that God’s best also might be found behind a door I have labeled “it will never happen”?

The Bible talks about how God opens “doors of opportunity,” and that when He puts an open door in front of us, no one can shut it. (See 2 Corinthians 2:12 and Revelation 3:8.) While these verses specifically refer to the spread of the gospel, I think the principle also applies to other callings and assignments.

What Next?

Unfortunately, it’s often hard to distinguish between what we think God wants us to do and what He is actually going to bring to fruition in our lives. Even when we have peace about the overall assignment, it’s easy to feel inadequate and unsure of what to do next.

We can’t just sit around and wait for God’s chosen (and perhaps humanly impossible) doors to pop open right in front of us, can we? But how do we know which doors to knock on, in hopes that some of them might open to the help or opportunities we are seeking?

And how do we keep going when the doors we do try remain tightly closed?

Knocking Season

As one who is currently in a season of knocking, I don’t have any definitive answers, but I do have a few thoughts—for you and for me.

When knocking on a lot of doors—in a job search, seeking help of some kind, etc.—the possibilities for rejection are plentiful. Whether you get a no in writing or hear nothing at all, try not to take it personally. Either result is a good answer from our good God: That’s not the one, keep knocking.

Don’t be intimidated by the size of a door or the influence of whoever lives behind it. If God’s best for you is behind a certain door, your message will get through to them and the door will open.

Be thankful for people who open doors to or for you, no matter how small the opening. And do the same for others when the opportunity arises.

Pray First

Don’t knock without praying first. For the door to open, sure, but more importantly, that God’s will would be done.

Sometimes it seems like there are doors everywhere—like when my family was in Spain, passing one every few feet. Other times, you may feel like you’re out in the wilderness, driving miles between houses to find another place to knock.

Not every door that opens will be God’s best for you. How to know? Seek counsel. Make sure you’re not shying away out of fear. Ask Him to slam the door shut if you’re not supposed to go through.

Mistakes Happen

But what if you go through an open door, feeling sure that God is the one who opened it, only to discover you’ve made a terrible mistake? I have two thoughts about this. First, what looks like a mistake from our vantage point—for a variety of valid reasons—may be exactly where we need to be to fulfill God’s purposes, for us or for someone else.

Also, whether you are in the right place or you did, indeed, choose the wrong door, God will not abandon you. The way out might be long and hard. But He has promised to be with you every step of the way, and He will not break that promise.

Finally, if the path ahead is foggy and there are no doors in sight, go about the business of living and loving, taking care of the immediate and important needs right in front of you. As author Emily Freeman puts it, “Do the next right thing in love.”

Friends, it’s so easy to get fixated on a specific door being the right one (ask me how I know). But let’s all hold our expectations loosely even as we continue to knock. God’s best will be revealed in ways we might not expect or imagine right now.

He will open the right door when the time is right, and not a moment sooner.

• • •

What helps you during a season of knocking on doors? And which of the Spanish doors pictured grabs your attention the most? Please share in the comments.

♥ Lois

Don’t be intimidated by the size of a door or the influence of whoever lives behind it. If God’s best for you is behind a certain door, your message will get through to them and the door will open. Share on X Be thankful for people who open doors to or for you, no matter how small the opening. And do the same for others when the opportunity arises. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with Sweet Tea & Friends, #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

January 30, 2024 28 comments
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Share Four Somethings: January 2024

by Lois Flowers January 23, 2024
by Lois Flowers

Inside: Insightful links about the fears of old age, what’s happening when “God goes silent,” how to help grieving people and why we all need to fast from digital devices and information. Plus, a tiny geek out about quotation marks. ~

Is it just me, or does it feel like time is moving at warp speed in 2024?

How are we already three weeks into the new year? I have no idea.

The prayer in Psalm 90:12 becomes more urgent by the hour: “Teach us to number our days carefully so that we may develop wisdom in our hearts.”

While we count our days—looking for ways make the most of each moment they contain—it helps to slow down from time to time and identify the blessings. Ponder the learnings. Articulate the observations.

Writing a regular Share Four Somethings blog post is one way I try to accomplish this. Even when I skip a month or deviate from the linkup’s stated categories, it’s helpful to reflect on recent happenings even as we look forward to the future, however cloudy it might be. Starting with …

• Something Loved

I love winter. The colder, the better. The more snow, the better. Granted, I live in Kansas, not North Dakota or Alabama, so my idea of a lot of snow might not be the same as yours.

I missed my annual snow walk with daughter Molly this year, but I still got to experience the wintery mix up close and personal when I went outside to knock snow off the branches of some vulnerable evergreens in my backyard.

• Something Read

When it comes to reading material, everyone is different. Words that resonate with me during this season of my life might put you to sleep.

Maybe not, though.

Several blog posts and articles have struck a chord with me lately, so I thought I’d share a few with you.

In “How to Help When You Don’t Know What to Do,” Tricia Lott Williford offers hard-won guidance to those wondering what to do, as well as those who are hurting. For example:

“If you don’t know what to say, simply say, ‘I’m so sorry.’ Or even better, ‘I am so sad for you.’ Don’t try to explain or offer a lofty word. There is no explanation, so free yourself from trying to find one.”

I’m not what John Piper calls an “older saint,” but his article titled “Five Fears of Old Age” touched my heart. It reminded me of my parents, but it also contains wisdom I hope to remember as I get older.

“Affliction, in the purposeful hand of God, has effects now in this life, and after death,” Piper writes. “It is never meaningless. It is never without God’s merciful design for our good.”

Trevin Wax writes about Augustine and his mother in “God Knows What You Really Want, Not Just What You Think You Want.” This piece provides a peek behind the curtain of those occasions when “God goes silent” in response to our sincere prayers.

“God is painting a portrait. Dark strokes are part of the canvas,” Wax says. “The Artist knows his subjects better than his subjects know themselves. Trust his hand. Yield to his brush. God often says no to our particular pleadings in order to say yes to our most profound prayers.”

Finally, in “Digital Detox, Intentional Ignorance, and the Proximity Principle,” Seth Troutt shares practical advice about “fasting from digital devices and fasting from information,” as well as thoughtful insights about why this is so important.

“Omnipresence is one of the characteristics of God,” he explains. “When technology makes us hyper-present, not only can our nervous systems not handle it, but our close friends and loved ones go unloved because we are aloof, distracted, and preoccupied.”

• Something Learned

Most people don’t geek out about punctuation, but I learned something this last month that sort of blew my editor mind. Turns out, the way quotation marks are used in American English is the opposite of how they’re used in Australia.

I discovered this when reading an ebook by two women who live in Australia. It was a well-edited book, but I kept noticing commas outside quote marks, not inside, and single quotes where I expected to see double.

My first thought: How could an editor overlook something so obvious?

Screenshot of page from “Good Mourning: Honest Conversations about Grief and Loss” with Australian usage of quotation marks highlighted.

Eventually, I started wondering if the comma placement wasn’t a mistake after all, that maybe they simply did things differently in Australia. I looked it up, and sure enough, they do.

According to this article on the Elite Editing website, “American English uses double quotation marks, and only uses single quotations marks when quoting inside a quotation. … In Australian English, single quotation marks are used, and double quotation marks are only included to quote within quotations.”

Furthermore, “In American English, the punctuation mark (i.e. the full stop or comma) always comes before the closing quotation mark. Conversely, in Australian English, the punctuation mark will usually come after the closing quotation mark, unless the quotation is also a complete sentence.”

This might not mean much to people who aren’t used to including quotes in their writing. But as a former newspaper reporter who has been quoting people in articles for decades, this was fascinating information.

(If you’re knowledgeable about Australian English, please chime in if I’m missing anything important here.)

• Something Observed

Editorial geek outs aside, I’m thinking there’s a deeper meaning to my recent experience with quotation marks.

We may think we’re right about something, or that someone else is wrong, when we simply don’t have enough information to make a judgment about the matter.

I thought I was seeing editing mistakes in the book I just mentioned, but I wasn’t. If I hadn’t taken a step back and considered whether they do things differently in Australia, I might have gone on my merry way, smugly continuing to wonder what kind of editor misses such things.

Whether we’re talking about punctuation, politics or a zillion other issues, there’s often a side (or perhaps many sides) to the story that we aren’t seeing, for whatever reason. Making assumptions or jumping to prideful conclusions never benefits anyone.

I’m not talking about having such an open mind that your brain falls out, as the saying goes. It is, however, always a good idea to ask, “What am I missing?” Because we never know what that might be.

• • •

Now it’s your turn. How do you feel about winter, snow and sub-zero temperatures? Have you read any memorable books or blog posts lately? What blessings, lessons or observations have you noted in the last month? Please share in the comments.

♥ Lois

It helps to slow down from time to time and identify the blessings. Ponder the learnings. Articulate the observations. Share on X We may think we’re right about something, or that someone else is wrong, when we simply don’t have enough information to make a judgment about the matter. Share on X

P.S. I’m linking up this week with sharefoursomethings, #tellhisstory, InstaEncouragements, Let’s Have Coffee and Grace & Truth.

January 23, 2024 29 comments
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As long as we’re here on planet Earth, God has a good purpose for us. This is true no matter how old we are, what we feel on any given day or what we imagine anyone else thinks about us. It can be a struggle, though, to believe this and live like it. It requires divine strength and eternal hope. And so I write, one pilgrim to another, in an effort to encourage us both as we navigate the long walk home together.

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